This wins the internet for 2024!! 😂😂
Brilliant 😂😂
I needed a good laugh 🤣
You're laughing.
She's there upside down tits out feet stuck and you're laughing.
i think the hardest part about this job is not being able to say What The Fuck
During my sophomore year biology class, we all had to dissect worms. One of the kids in class ate one. A few minutes into the class, the teacher was like, “oh, by the way, make sure not to touch your mouth. These worms are covered in super poisonous formaldehyde.”
The kid who had eaten the work went pale. The kids at his desk huddled around him for a whispered discussion about whether or not he should admit to what he’d done, or keep his mouth shut and hope he survived it. He eventually decided that he did not want to risk death, put up his hand, and very timidly informed the teacher of his little snack.
The poor teacher. She just got this look on her face, like she was considering switching careers immediately. Anyway, she ended up calling 911. I don’t know how things went down at the hospital, but the kid survived.
Right. We’re going to have words about that last tag there.
Okay @gallusrostromegalus I realize you probably just forgot to finish that last tag, but I want to make clear how fucking
OMINOUS
it is that you don’t elaborate what those coroner firing reasons were covering up
Tumblr fucked up the tags, the last one is supposed to read “#Someone finally gave in to temptation and had a little Nibble”
one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition
like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’
bbc sherlock wants what i have
If a baby ever commits a crime, we know who to call.
Tumblr just put a fcuking harry potter post on my feed as a "recommendation based on your likes"
Why not recommend me smallpox next. Or arthritis maybe.
Settings -> Account Settings -> Content you see -> Filtered Post Content
Add "Rowling", "jkr", "harry potter", "snape", "remus lupin", whatever you want.
Yeah I'm not doing all that. Tumblr should just ban all things related to that franchise
you are like a mewling helpless baby you are standing in the rain and i am offering you a goddamn umbrella and you throw it on the floor and yell at god to abolish rain
"you are standing in the rain and I am offering you a goddamn umbrella and you throw it on the floor and yell at god to abolish rain" is a killer line and I wish I wrote that
my grandma sent me a picture of my dog with his new xmas present and i need a fucking inhaler LOOK AT HIM
oh to feel a fraction of the unbridled joy he is experiencing
YOURE ALL SO MEAN TO MY BOY
Where have all the good men gone, and where are all the Gods? Where's a dumbass Hercules To gamely eat Tide Pods?