All I'd like to say is thank you.
These past couple of years have been hectic, to say the least. And I'm glad that some people still are here to help others in their journey.
I do miss the old Tumblr and all the blogs that have now since been deactivated, deleted, or just people have stopped posting. But we all move on somehow.
Thank you guys/gals for still being here.
Thank you so much, @invisible-ginger! We truly appreciate your kind words. :)
Is this still being monitored?
I'm here! I'm not sure how many of the rest of the team are though. ~asubmissiveview
Did DWPreturns shut down or get re named?
Not a clue.
Hii it's the munch anon, I'm from Portugal, thank you for the help!! :)
OK, anyone out there in Portugal have any pointers to munches, demos, etc, places where Anon can get into the local community?
Hiii it's the munch anon again :) I did try findamunch.com but the most recent munches in europe there date back to 2020 and the latest I can find in my country is 2019 :/ maybe I'm doing something wrong? I'm not sure where else to look
Let us know what country you're in, maybe folks here might know of more current get togethers.
Hellooo I've been thinking of joining the local bdsm community, but I have no experience in bdsm at all :/ I was wondering if it would be okay to join simply to learn, and meat other people who share my insterests before actually starting to play?
Also I know the best way to join is to go to munches, but I'm not sure how to find them (location and date), I've searched online and gotten nothing... any advice please?
144 here. Have you looked at findamunch.com?
Thank you for your insight, instructor and community. This is the sub who had the gaslighting/wank-fodder “dom.” Any tips on mental recovery for heartbroken subs are greatly appreciated. I’m young, recently moved and don’t have much community in the area. This was my first “dom.”
144 here. i'll invite everyone to chime in, but look under the #unowned tag over on my @instructor144 blog, especially for "Structure and Self Care for Unowned Submissives" and "Tips for Healing."
My relationship with my dom is complicated: we were often living in different parts of the country but kept in touch. The dynamic began with a focus on the romantic and sexual, and he reassured me over time of his interest. He asked to be involved with every sexual encounter I had, including any meetings with the individuals involved. I committed to him. Now he claims he was never interested in a relationship and denies the romantic history. He claims we’ve just been casual friends. I’m crushed.
144 here. He's either gaslighting you, or he has some significant mental health issues. Or, another possibility, he's been using you as wank-fodder and telling you what you wanted to hear to keep you coming back for more. Regardless of which it is, gou need to walk away from this toxic person.
Hello! I’ve been doing long distance with my dom for a year. Our contact consists of texting wherein 1) he asks about my prior sexual experiences and sexual likes/dislikes as a sub and 2) he orders me to show myself via pics and to keep sending pics until he comes. After, he tells me to come on my own. when I don’t send photos quickly enough (I can be slow) he tells me he’s losing his erection. I asked him for photos of him; he hasn’t sent. I know him IRL but just feel down and under appreciated
You feel under appreciated because you are under appreciated. Here's the truth of the thing, Anon: to him, you are wank-fodder. That's it. He's not a Dom, and you're not in a relationship with him. He wants to get off, you feed his masturbation by sending nudes, he nuts, and it's "hasta la vista, baby." If you understand that you deserve more than that, then you need to kick this onanistic fuckboy to the curb with the swiftness.
I just wanted to say hello to all. I've been off of Tumblr for a bit but I have missed all you pervs (My old blog: daddyssweete, lost access to it 😞) I have wondered places online but the community here is wonderful. You the faculty thank you for your perspective, knowledgeable info and commitment to the community. I've missed you all! Glad to be here
Welcome back, we're glad you were able to find your way back to this eclectic corner of Tumblr Town.
Hi you wonderful kinky kindred spirits. I’m in what feels like the oddest yet potentially awesome situation of my life.
I’ve been seeing a guy for three months now who has been too shy (I assume) to ever put any moves on me. Well it suddenly got more interesting when I spotted him on Fetlife as a sub. And now I’m giving a lot of thought to the idea of us in a D/s dynamic with me in charge and the more I think about it the more it feels like an amazing win-win happy situation. In truth I’ve been an unsuccessful sub for 20+ years myself. It seems every time I think I’ve meet a potential D-type he flips the script and winds up wanting to serve me. So. Maybe im just naturally dommy. I actually like this guy enough to explore that with him — and for him. But… how the hell do I bring this up with my shy guy? “I saw you on Fetlife and I would love to have you for a pet,” seems too forward 😆
You could be super direct and say just that - you know submissives detest ambiguity. No need to get all up in your head about it - when you’re in your head, you’re dead.
But first, think it through. You know, from the submissive side of the slash, how it feels to think, “maybe this is the one who will see ME and provide for me.” Consider what you can bring to the table on the D side of the slash? Will it be a role-play situation for you? What might this man you’re seeing NEED? There has to be a full conversation around all of it. You’re strong and competent, but that doesn’t make you successful in the D aspect of providing for a submissive.
I was once asked to provide the D side of things, and I tried. It wasn’t easy. It drained me. I’m glad for the experience because I have better appreciation for the D and greater understanding of myself.
So, maybe what you say is something more like, “I’ve discovered we have more in common than either of us thought, and I’m really happy about that…..I was on fetlife and I saw your profile….it made me smile. Let’s talk about it!”
Let us know how it goes!
ES🐉
I am engaged to my dom and we are planning a wedding for next fall. Over the weekend, he was served with papers saying that his ex had filed charges against him for unlawful dissemination of images over a year ago. I know him... he would never do that, but she is known for dramatics not to mention stalking and harrassing him. She texts him, emails him, and has even sent him photos of his car that she took in the parking lot of his workplace. In fact, she has been served with divorce papers multiple times and refuses to sign, simply out of spite. She's really just not a nice person.
He deletes her messages because he doesnt want anything to do with her, but now we dont have any proof of her harassment. How do we fight this charge??
I love him and can't bear the thought that he may be sent to jail for a year for something he didn't do.
Any suggestions???
Ugh, that’s a stressful thing. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Having worked within this realm, I can suggest he contact his cell provider to see if he can retrieve the messages. Never block or delete (this is for anyone being harassed) from her again. It’s likely she’s been advised not to message anymore; but keep anything she does. Have him initiate a message to her to if her messages populate.
Remember, just because she has pressed charges doesn’t mean those charges will stick. Find a lawyer who deals with harassment on a regular basis (check with local legal aid for domestic violence).
…..what you focus on is what you feel. See above paragraph
Good luck!
ES 🐉
I just met a Warrior Princess Sub. I want to dominate her, but I am new to this lifestyle. How do I move forward?
144 here. You get to know her. You focus on understanding what motivates her, what intrigues her, what makes her tick. Don't focus on "how do I dominate her," focus on "how do I get to know her?"
I’m in a new relationship. He is interested in me being a dom to him. Looking forward some advice on how to be an effective dom for my partner
Assuming you feel that you have dominant leanings, you can start with the dominance tag at https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/dominance. There are also several good books out there that could help and are conveniently tagged by the good instructor as well https://instructor144.tumblr.com/tagged/books. Followers, any other suggestions? ~asubmissiveview
I have a relatively new, young, bratty sub, ldr. Today she was texting and driving, and I told her that was a bad idea. She said that's not a rule, and I said, no it's just common sense. Send me a pic of the gear shift in park and we'll text. Attitude ensued. So do we negotiate a no texting and driving rule? This send like a no brainer to me...
144 here. Yes you ABSOLUTELY put a no texting and driving rule in place. Note I did not say you "negotiate" the rule. Some rules are non-negotiable.
Hello, could I have some advice? I recently got into a relationship with a new Dom who has one sub other than me, and I find myself feeling more and more needy. I've met and got along well with the other sub and the 3 of us have played together which is fun but I'm trying to find a way to instigate some sort of something between me and the Dom. Problem is, both of us are battling some trauma (we both see therapists for it) and as a result it's difficult for us to play together because there's a lot of hesitancy and fear of taking things too far despite the safeword system we have, also we both have full time jobs. Am I just being needy and selfish by wanting alone time? When the other sub is around it feels like they are kind of really pushing me to be more switch than I am, which frustrates me, but at the end of the day while I might not get much from acting more dominant I'm willing to do it for a partner. After I just feel unfulfilled but I also don't want to stress out the Dom and make them feel like they owe me something when they don't, our relationship is very new and very casual. Maybe I'm just not cut out for a poly relationship, it's hard to bring up needs or wants when other people are so loud and you spend so much time being quiet anyways.
I dont really know what I'd like to hear but any sort of advice or opinions on my situation? Is this kind of what subdrop feels like?
As you said, you may not be cut out for a poly relationship. A lot of people are not, me included, and there is nothing wrong with knowing that about yourself and embracing that about yourself. It sounds like the connection of 1-on-1 might be more along the lines of your aspirations. Followers, especially poly folks, any thoughts for Anon?
Hi friends can I have some advice?
For context I recently entered into a polyamourous relationship with a person I met on fetlife and their partner. The person (A) identifies as the dom in the relationship and we started talking as potential play partners. Their partner (B) identifies very heavily as a sub and is significantly older than A and me.
Recently it's felt like whenever the 3 of us are together B just wants me to be a second Dom, they make a lot of jokes about me having a dominant personality and while I can acknowledge in some ways this is true (I'm not a terribly submissive person outside of bdsm) it feels like they're trying to push me to being a second Dom. I like B well enough but frankly their immaturity sometimes nags at me and it feels like A and I just have to play babysitter whenever I'm around B, and it's really frustrating.
Idk maybe polyam isn't for me but I really like A a lot, and maybe today was just a bad day because B had some extenuating circumstances happen that resulted in me holding their hand and supporting them through some things (which normally I don't mind it just maybe I'm just being petty but today just felt extra pathetic and selfish how they did it), and I feel like any time I'm around A I relax and feel more certain and comfortable but any time I'm around B I have to suddenly be responsible and "dommy" for them
I dont really know where I'm going with this rant I'm tired and emotionally exhausted and am just sick of always having to be responsible for people who wouldn't do it for me, this is a thing that happens a lot. The curse of being a very empathetic person I suppose. I take responsibility on my shoulders almost constantly.
I understand logically I'm the 3rd in this relationship I'm the outsider but it's still frustrating, I figure at the end of the day I should probably talk to A and B about this but I don't want to be a burden and sound petty or cruel
Anyways I'm not sure what I'm asking for with this rant if you actually read it thank you, just... well.... thoughts?
Followers with some poly insights, chime in here.
