For real, actionable advice feel free to skip ahead to the second big text. tl;dr look around the red text.
Why do people write this?
Typically advice for depressed people is written by people who aren't depressed. That does make sense since depression makes it so much more difficult to do things. Things that are done are most often done by people that find it easy to do things.
For the author, a making a cup of tea or sitting outside for a few minutes are examples of something that is a "free action". You might here someone express the belief that "willpower is infinite".
I used to think I could walk forever up until I did so for 9 hours. What is going on when someone writes this is that they never had to come up to these limits before. That leads to advice that isn't helpful to the people that need it most.
This is also a problem with physical exercise. Most people think of running or lifting weights as typical starting points. But what does someone who can't stand for long do?
The same principles apply, you stretch the muscles, they break, they repair. It's just that when you are starting from scratch, lifting the leg and standing or what have you is enough to do that.
So I am depressed and can't get out of bed. What do I do?
Just like with exercise we start small.
- Think about breathing manually. This is impossible to fail. You don't have to do anything besides think of breathing. And yet, as you do it it is proof you have some control still.
- Wiggle your fingers. Open and close your hand.
- Move your arm. Lift it up. It can be just at the elbow to start
- Put your hand in a position to push you to the side. It's okay if this just gets you to your side. That is progress
- Get the legs involved. You can start with the toes, then ankles, then up to your knees
- With more limbs involved we can shift over to the edge of the bed
- Get some legs off
- Sitting position
- Now stand up
Reading this you may find that it doesn't take that many steps. That's great. You may find that it takes more and that you have to recover from each one. That's fine too. The important part is that you gained some progress each time. Even if you fall back, it gets easier and easier to do the same thing, just like building muscle.
At the end of the day, no one is going to know how many steps you used to get out of bed. The trick is that when something seems insurmountable you break it down into small enough steps that the next one is doable to you personally.
Once you get it done, then that's as good as anyone else.
