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queen of procrastination

@cooliogirl101 / cooliogirl101.tumblr.com

Coolio101 from ffnet and ao3 here. 21+ y/o, she/her. Short excerpts, omakes from my stories, drabbles, updates on my life, etc.
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To that anon who asked about Hisana/Christina in the Boys universe— sorry idk what happened to the original ask, I was in the middle of replying when I think I accidentally deleted it. I do think she would absolutely hate it there 😂

In one timeline, Vought took Soldier Boy’s genetic material and used it to create what they hoped would be an upgraded version of him, an infant boy with the potential to be their greatest, most powerful, and more importantly, most profitable weapon yet. In another timeline, they asked themselves— why stop at just a boy?

The name of the male, John, was easy enough to come up with. The name of the female was harder. One person proposed Jane, but Vogelbaum discarded that suggestion immediately. John and Jane…it seemed a little too trite. Several other names were thrown into the mix— Sarah, Jessica, Emily, Laura. In the end, it was a low level intern that came up with the one that stuck.

“How about Christina?”

Christina. A good, solid American name, with connotations of God and Christianity to boot. It was unanimously approved.

Christina it was.

Lol I’m picturing tiny toddler Christina just, like, aggressively debating the ethics of her own upbringing the moment she’s able to talk, while the Vought scientists look on wringing their hands anxiously because what the fuck, who taught this kid morals?? We didn’t program her to have those!!! Why couldn’t she just be casually homicidal like the other one, at least we expected that, prepared for that, not this making us question our life’s work and want to be better people bullshit, ugh.

(If anyone asked Jonah Vogelbaum who his favorite was, John or Christina, he’d respond that he valued them equally. A father wasn’t supposed to have favorites, after all, and as far as the outside world was concerned, that was what he was.

He wasn’t their father, though. If he was, he’d never have been able to do the things he did to them. And if that meant he was slightly less than impartial towards them…well, he rather thought that was the least of his crimes.

If anyone asked Jonah Vogelbaum which one he would save, if given the option to only save one, he’d choose John without hesitation. But only because he knew Christina would ask him to.)

(And if every so often, footage containing her most damning anti-Vought rhetoric gets accidentally deleted, well— who’s to say technical difficulties can’t occur even with the most state of the art technology?)

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Anonymous asked:

i always got the impression that the unohana het ship of most ppl was kenpachi/unohana... what are your thoughts on that?

I honestly can’t imagine them having a romantic relationship. Do they share a unique connection that they don’t share with anyone else? Absolutely. I believe they understand each other better than anyone else. But looking at their interactions, there’s nothing that implies any physical attraction between them that I can see. Platonic soulmates is the closest I can get to shipping them.

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Anonymous asked:

now I'm thinking about nel/unohana lmao

Lol that might be cute! For the life of me, I cannot picture Unohana with a man.

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Anonymous asked:

When you put it like that...Hisana/Nel sounds good.

(then again, I also simp for Hisana/Unohana so....LMAO)

Nothing wrong with shipping both haha

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reblogged

Ugh I have a new Hisana ship 😫

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raven-6-10

Tell me more, please.

Tell me why I can’t help but ship Hisana with Nel now 😭

The process went something like this:

Me: I think Hisana and Nel would get along

Me, trying to flesh out Nel’s character a little more: If you think about it, Nel was really the first person in the Bleach world to believe that hollows could become more than the monsters everyone believed them to be. It can’t have been an easy conviction to maintain, given the world she existed in and Nnoitra over there trying to prove her wrong every single day. And sure, she had her fraccion but they were loyal to her, not her beliefs. They would believe in anything she told them to believe. And yes, you have the more “civilized” Arrancar like Starrk but it wasn’t the same— they didn’t understand her reluctance to kill, her abhorrence to violence. I can’t imagine how unbelievably isolating that would be. So imagine the amount of surprise, joy, relief she would feel to finally meet someone who believed the same things she did? Living proof that she’d been right all along. As a hollow, Khimaira proved she wasn’t alone; as a shinigami, Hisana proved that hollows could co-exist with their natural enemies in peace. I think it would be incredibly meaningful to anyone, let alone someone like Nel, to find someone who respects you for the same beliefs that others disparage, who loves you for all the things that make you an outsider and—ah shit.

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Hisana, in Huedo Mundo: Okay remember, you’re on a mission. Don’t do anything to raise suspicions. Don’t even bother being friendly with the other hollows because that’s not what Khimaira would do.

Hisana, after failing at the “no friends” rule like 10 minutes in: ….actually you know what, it’s fine if you make a few friends. It doesn’t matter if that’s not something Khimaira would do, because that’s not something Yukimura Hisana would do either. So even if outwardly Khimaira is acting a tiny bit different, no one should make the connection to me. After all, who would expect me to make friends with the enemy?

Gin:

Byakuya:

Rukia:

Kaien:

Hisana: Literally nobody, that’s who.

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reblogged
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lillagrim
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relelvance

In what world is tall muscular man not conventionally attractive

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piedude

We've all been down here too long. I truly think there's a chunk of tumblr's population that can no longer survive sunlight.

women will say “hear me out” and show u a photo of pyramid head and then tumblr users will go “this is a perfectly normal man and an ice cold take”

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WTL Deleted Scene

The bar had been closed for an hour and Mitsuo was in the process of cleaning up when he noticed the woman standing by the door. It was raining hard outside but she didn’t seem to notice or care, looking completely lost in thought.

Mitsuo hesitated for a moment before making his way towards the front.

“Can I help you?” He asked politely. The woman jolted slightly, before staring up at him with wide, startled eyes.

“No,” she said after a brief pause. “No, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have come. Sorry for disturbing you.”

She turned to walk away and before he could think better of it, Mitsuo reached out one hand to grab her shoulder. She went alarmingly stiff under his touch and he hastily let her go.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just that, well.” He took in her drenched clothes, the lack of umbrella, the water droplets running down her face. “You look like you could use a place to warm up.”

She glanced at the very blatant ‘Closed’ sign on the door before looking back at him.

“I think we have time for one more customer,” he said, answering her unspoken question, and stepped aside to allow her in.

~~

“So that bad, huh?” The woman, who had introduced herself as ‘Hana,’ asked casually. Mitsuo raised an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?” He asked, sliding a cup of tea over to her.

“The way I look.” Her lips quirked up slightly, a touch of humor entering her eyes. “I figure it has to be bad if strangers are taking pity on me and allowing me to take shelter for free after hours. Be honest, on a scale of drowned rat to drenched owl, how bad are we talking?”

He took in her shoulder length sopping-wet brown hair, brown eyes, brown coat. She did look a bit like a bedraggled animal, actually.

“Hmm, more along the lines of wet cat, to be frank,” Mitsuo said, smiling. “How’s the tea?”

She took a sip, then drew back, surprised. “This-- ”

“Not bad, right?” Mitsuo chuckled.

“Well. The standards of tea have certainly improved since the last time I’ve been in Inuzuri,” Hana remarked. “Must mean this place is doing pretty well, right?”

“You could say that.” They certainly weren’t lacking money anyway. “I think we have some food leftover in the back. Let me see if I can scrounge up something.”

“You don’t have to,” Hana protested. “Seriously, you’ve done more than enough.”

“It’s no trouble.” Mitsuo smiled briefly. “Besides, it’d hardly be polite to let a lady go hungry. Why don’t you take a look at a menu and see if anything catches your eye?”

“Absolutely not, I’m not going to—wait, who came up with the names of these drinks?” She asked incredulously.

“Ah yes, I’m afraid my brother had quite a bit of fun coming up with them.” Mitsuo grinned, suppressing a chuckle. “My sister, she was of the belief that we should be trying to attract a more diverse clientele and suggested that creating cocktails designed to cater to both men and women might be a good idea. Kazuki—my brother—thought it was ridiculous and was deeply upset at the idea of serving ‘girly’ drinks in his bar. Unfortunately for him, he was unanimously outvoted. The compromise was that he would be allowed to name the drinks.”

“And K—and they approved these?” Hana’s lips twitched as she scanned the list. “The Red-Hot Pineapple Monkey? Oh dear, the person who inspired that one must be a…character.”

Mitsuo hummed his agreement, hiding his surprise. It wasn’t often that newcomers guessed the cocktail names were inspired by actual people, and that one was a comparatively less obvious one.

“Maybe I’ll try something after all. This one sounds promising—the Flower Power Glower.” She laughed. “I’m sorry, it’s just that one…I mean, I would have loved to—” Her voice trailed off, shoulders slumping slightly. “But I guess that’s not possible anymore.”

Hana glanced up at Mitsuo, a wry twist to her mouth.

“Maybe alcohol isn’t such a good idea tonight.”

“Maybe not,” Mitsuo agreed gently. “And for what it’s worth, I understand. I’ve lost people too. If there’s anything I can do to help, I’d be glad to give it a try.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you.” She hesitated. “There is one thing. I just—your family.” Hana looked down at her hands, fiddling with her mug. “They sound like…like an amazing group of people. Would you tell me about them?” There was an odd urgency to her voice now, words coming out just a touch too fast. “Please?”

Mitsuo paused. By all means, he should decline her request. It wasn’t exactly a secret that two highly-ranked Shinigami came from their household and although neither Rukia nor Renji visited frequently these days, it wasn’t unfeasible that someone could come seeking information to use against them. And yet, he couldn’t help but instinctively trust that this woman meant him and his family no harm.

He hadn’t lived this long by ignoring his instincts.

“What do you want to know?” He asked.

~~

They ended up talking for hours. Honestly, they probably could have ended up talking for longer had Kazuki not stormed in, shaking droplets of rain out of his hair.

“There you are! The bar closed hours ago, where the hell have you—who the hell is she?” Kazuki drew up short at the sight of Hana and Mitsuo sitting across from each other at the bar, halfway through their second pot of tea. Hana looked at him with the same wide-eyed look she’d greeted Mitsuo with.

“Manners, Kazuki,” Mitsuo said dryly.

“Shut up, this ain’t the goddamned Seireitei,” Kazuki retorted without taking his eyes off Hana. “So who is she?”

She is able to hear you,” Hana said, a touch sardonically. “You can call me Hana.”

“Just Hana, huh? No last name?” Kazuki asked, eyes narrowing slightly.

“You’re hardly one to talk, given that you haven’t provided either of yours,” she retorted without missing a beat. He blinked, then grinned.

“Fair enough. You can call me Kazuki then.” His eyes fell onto the mostly-empty plate of gyoza on the table. “Aw man, I was hoping to eat those later.”

“Don’t worry, we saved the smallest one for you,” she replied, tongue-in-cheek. Mitsuo blinked. That had almost sounded like—

“I mean, thank you for the drinks and the food,” Hana said hastily, interrupting his thoughts. “How much do I owe you? And don’t tell me it’s on the house again, I mean the real cost.”

“How much do you want to pay?” At her uncomprehending look, Kazuki smirked. “We operate on a donation-only system here. You pay what you want, and if you don’t want to pay anything, that’s perfectly fine too.” He looked her over. “Actually on second thought, I second what Mitsuo said. It’s on the house—please use any money you have to buy an umbrella.”

“That doesn’t seem like a viable way to run a business,” Hana pointed out.

“Don’t worry about that. Anything that isn’t covered by donations just gets added to Hisana’s tab,” Kazuki shrugged.

There was a pause.

“Hisana’s tab?” Hana questioned. Her voice was very small.

“It’s a system we set up in honor of our late sister,” Mitsuo explained quietly. “Well, us and her fiancé at the time. Anyone who comes to this bar only needs to ask in order to be fed.”

It had been Kuchiki Byakuya’s idea. The amount of money he donated on a yearly basis could feed more hungry orphans than existed in all of Inuzuri.

“Oh.” Hana swallowed. “That’s—that’s a really nice thing to do. I’m sure your sister would have loved that.” She stood up and bowed. “I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you for your kindness—I can’t tell you how much it means to me.” 

“You have a place to stay?” Mitsuo asked, concerned.

“Of course. You don’t have to worry about me,” she smiled. “I’ll be fine.”

Mitsuo pursed his lips, studying her closely. There was something oddly familiar about her, something that had been bothering him all evening. Not her features—no, Mitsuo was quite certain he’d never seen this woman before in his life—but in her tone of voice, the way she tilted her chin up—

He shook off the sense of déjà vu and smiled at her.

“In that case, please feel free to come back at any time. You’re always welcome,” he said sincerely. “I hope to see you again.” 

Her smile softened into something a little more genuine.

“As do I,” she murmured. “Take care, Mitsuo, Kazuki.”

“So. Hana, huh?” Kazuki commented as soon as the door shut behind her. “Someone you know?”

“Not at all. I’ve never seen her before tonight,” Mitsuo replied honestly. “Why?”

He shrugged, staring off into the same direction Hana had left.

“Nothing. Just feel like I’ve met her before.”

~~

Hisana: “You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll be fine” while very much the opposite of fine

Mitsuo and Kazuki, immediately: wait why does this girl seem so familiar

Deleted this scene because I decided Hisana wouldn't risk going back to her family until Aizen was no longer a threat, no matter how much she missed them. But I figured I'd share this snippet anyway, hope you guys enjoy!

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tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

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9lunarseas6

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

OH MY GOD

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

IT GOES FULL CIRCLE

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Anonymous asked:

AHDBAJDH I MEANT “CAN totally imagine” autocorrect my beloved, you are the bane of my existence sometimes

but also!!! i think it’s hilarious to think of aizen being offended by her nonplussed reactions. it makes me picture him just messing with her to see if he can provoke different reactions aaaaaand now im seeing the similarities to gin

Aizen: She’s an amusing distraction, nothing more. Utterly expendable.

Also Aizen: What do you mean she forgot about me already >:(

Aizen: Well I can fix that

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Anonymous asked:

lmaooo toxic ex archetype, everything thinks something definitely went on between them behind the scenes and hisana resolutely denies this, not realizing it’s only making the rumors worse

LOL can you imagine when she actually faces him in battle:

“Oh and by the way, I donated your entire wardrobe to charity!” Momo yelled, whacking him on the chest with her zanpakuto (to add insult to injury, he wasn’t even bothering to dodge, instead telling her with a smile to, “Get it out dear, I know you want to”). “And I gave all your skin care products to Yachiru. She loved them, said they were delicious. That orange marmalade sugar scrub you love so much? It’s moisturizing the inside of her stomach right now.”

Aizen faltered the slightest bit. “You did what?”

“AND I burned your entire collection of tea leaves. Should’ve taken them with you when you left,” Momo continued savagely. “Don’t worry though, I didn’t want you to miss out so I saved some of the fun just for you.”

“Should we…intervene?” Izuru asked Hitsugaya awkwardly. Momo had begun pelting Aizen with teacups at this point.

“And just so you know, Hirako-taicho is better than you ever were!” Momo screamed off in the distance. Next to them, Shinji dropped his face in his hands with a muttered “please don’t bring me into this.” In fact, most of the shinigami on the field were determinedly avoiding eye contact.

“No,” Hitsugaya said in a deeply tired voice. “No, let’s just…let them work this out between them.”

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