oh look — a f u c k i n g ghost !

“I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.” ”Pick a god and pray.” “Then perish.” “Violence for violence is the rule of beasts.” “I have been through Hell and come out singing.” “There are no gods here.” ”Kiss my ass, you sanctimonious bastard.” “Do I look like the kind of man who dies?” ”Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created here on earth?” ”Most monsters are a manifestation of our own fears and inability to accept different cultures we don’t understand.” ”You can only learn from pain, the more pain the wiser you become.” ”God, forgive me.” ”I am blighted being cursed with sight.” ”This is the age of the expanding man.” “God’s dead and soon we will be, too.” “I thought there were no heroes left in this world.” ”To become God is the loneliest achievement of them all.” “You kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies.” “Impudent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end.” ”People who don’t fear death are the ones who crave it.” “This is Hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods.” “Bury me shallow, I’ll be back.” ”Perception is truth to those who perceive it as such.” “Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t.” ”When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, you learn.” “Ironic that someone whose purpose it is to restore life would wish death upon themself.” “God wishes he were me.” “One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled.” “Everything that we know and love is reducible to the absurd amount of chemicals, and there is therefore no intrinsic value in this material universe.” “Hypocrite that you are, for you to trust the chemicals in your brain to tell you they are chemicals.” “All knowledge is ultimately based on that which we cannot prove.” “Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?” “You’re a coward. You always were.” “Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”

also included some aimed at cohabitating couples

• “Did we leave the stove on?”
• “Did you remember to unplug that?”
• “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”
• “Do you wanna just order pizza tonight?”
• “You’re slowing down the internet, again.”
• “I washed dishes last night. It’s your turn.”
• “Seriously? You ate them all? Without me?”
• “Do you have to have your music that loud?”
• “Oh, don’t give me that! It had my name on it!”
• “Scootch over, you’re hogging the whole couch.”
• “You made dinner? Thanks, it smells really good.“
• “Touch my chips and you’re gonna meet the lord.”
• “My Netflix password, I get to decide what we watch.”
• “If you touch that thermostat one more time, I swear…”
• “Oh, yeah, light’s been burnt out for, like, a week, now.”
• “Put down the broom and go to bed, you’re exhausted.”
• “I just pulled all these out of the couch. Care to explain?”
• “I swear, this place is haunted. The lights keep flickering.”
• “No. You can’t solve every household issue with duct-tape.”
• “Was that the sound of a pipe bursting? Please, tell me no.”
• “You can’t just hoard (trash item). You’re like a dragon of garbage.”
• “Well, I would’ve liked to sleep, but SOMEONE hogged the bed last night.”
• “Our neighbors keep eyeing our little garden. I think they’re jealous. Good.”
• “So, don’t panic, but you know how they say you shouldn’t microwave metal…?”
• “Excuse you, you don’t need a pillow. I’m right here, and perfectly pillow-shaped!”
• “Did you really write ‘REDRUM’ on the mirror? You almost gave me a heart attack!”
• “Hey, I know you’ve had a rough day, so I made a quick stop and picked up your favorite snack.”
• “Sorry I didn’t warn you that I sleepwalk. Didn’t mean to become your sleep paralysis demon.”
• “Yeah, I’d love to do the yardwork… if it could stop snowing/raining/storming for more than ten seconds.”
• “I was going to throw out the milk, but it’s been in there so long, it gained sentience and I’m scared to get near it.”
• “Since things keep breaking, I think we have a household ghost. And I’m gonna name him Steve. Steve, you’re a dick.”
• “Apparently, you can duct tape a person to a wall. We have duct tape. We have a wall. Are you seeing where I’m going with this?”
• “Somewhere in this house, there’s a smoke alarm low on batteries. And it’s taunting me with its beeps, because it knows I can’t figure out which one it is.”

Ind. DBH. Muses. Group Promo. Feat: Pri. Sel. Mutual Excl. Non-Sel. 18-21+ content

CARING FOR STUBBORN MUSES. for when the person you’re trying to care for insists they don’t need your help.