Marvin The Magician, watching Jackie do push-ups: Wow, he's been going at it for a while. I wonder where he gets all the motivation.
Jackieboy Man, thinking to himself: man, I'm gonna get so good at hugging my friends.
Dark, waking up and seeing Markiplier Studios is flooded: Okay, okay. The only explanation is I’m still asleep, dreaming that the studio is flooded. What does it mean? What does it mean?
The Host, floating by: It probably means you’re under a lot of stress because this is not a dream and the studio is flooded.
Dr. Schneeplestein, to Chase: This is what we call a traumatic event.
Dr. Schneeplestein: not a "bruh moment" or "major L" or "oof lmao"
Google, addressing the egos: And if you have any thoughts about my “attitude problems” feel free jot them down and put them in this suggestion box.
Wilford: ...Google, this is just a trash can.
Google: it sure is.
Dr. Schneeplestein: you say please and thank you in front of your zombie friend all the time, and he never repeats it
Dr. Schneeplestein: but say 'fuck' ONCE--
Anti: [accidentally stabs himself with his knife]
All The Septics:
Yancy, holding up a bag: aye, I stoles youse underground gold!
Captain Magnum: That’s decoy gold. You think I’d leave my gold in a locked safe buried underground, where anyone could find it?
Yancy, throwing the decoy gold his way: youse don't know me at alls, ocean breath. [holds up real gold]
Yan, lovingly talking about Senpai at 2am: He could kill me and I’d thank him!
Bingiplier, tired of hearing for the millionth time: yeah, I'd thank him too.
Jameson, signing: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me, as I lay sick festering. You are the definition of death--
Chase Brody: JJ? You alright, bro?
Jameson: Anti ate my garlic bread
Anti: you're just jealous of me. You know, people say I have a unique way of lighting up a room--
Dr. Schneeplestein: That unique way is called arson and those people are witnesses.
Dr. Iplier: I told you, I'm fine. Why do you keep asking?
Dark: You had 10 cups of coffee in seven minutes.
Bim, holding up a spork: Google, what is this?
Google: a spork, duh.
Bim: Bing, what is this?
Bing: a fpoon, duh.
Dr. Schneeplestein: are you okay?
Chase Brody: yeah, why?
Dr. Schneeplestein: You asked the woman at the store if damage repair shampoo also works on emotions.
Anti: I hate you.
Robbie The Zombie : Well, according to this picture I drew of us in which we are we holding hands, that must be untrue.
Jim Twins, after blowing up Markiplier TV Studios: ....are we in trouble?
Dark: guess.
Jim Twins: ...no?
Dark: guess again.
Dr. Iplier: Wilford, Google won't power on.
Wilford: hmm, just say I said something factually incorrect.
Dr. Iplier: will that work?
Wilford: worth a shot!
[Dr. Iplier leaves]
Googleplier, walking in a few moments later: I'm sorry, did you just say the sun is a fucking planet--
Anti, stubbing his toe: Ow! Son of a bi--
Dr. Schneeplestein: Anti! [gestures to Robbie] he can hear you!
Anti: --scuit. Son of a biscuit.
Dr. Schneeplestein: wow, nice save.
Anti: I know, right? Fucking nailed it.