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I know ice hockey skates don’t have toe picks.

@jackironsides / jackironsides.tumblr.com

Formerly delirieuse. He/him. 40-something disabled queer. Also jackironsides on AO3. I have a ko-fi (sindesiecle) that you can donate to instead of telling me my identity is a slur.

Hello! Welcome to my pinned post. I update this as I go, so if you’re seeing it on a reblog, you might find extra fic links in the one on my blog.

FYI, I write a lot of comments and jokes in the tags. I love it when people enjoy them enough to include them in the reblogs (like I cannot express how much), but I’d prefer if you could attach my username to it, whether it’s just adding (via @jackironsides) or whatever. It’s clear to anyone seeing it on your blog, but I’ve seen my tags circulating unattributed on posts that have like six more reblogs after them often enough, and it makes me sad. I toiled hard in the joke mines for those, dammit.

If you’re interested in my fic, the tag is, obscurely enough, #my fic. Also my AO3 is jackironsides. Below the cut at the bottom of this post is the current list of my main WIPs that are being posted here, which are (mostly) not yet on AO3. They’re all Geraskier Witcher fics.

I have chronic pain, chronic fatigue, ADHD and histamine issues, and sometimes I talk about this.

Tags to blacklist

If you have any kind of issues with disordered eating, or you find it upsetting, you might want to blacklist the tag #disordered eating, because that’s what I talk about my difficulties with food sometimes, such as the bad days when making food is hard bc of my chronic fatigue, or ADHD, or both. Or the ways I’ve had to heavily restrict my diet for chronic illness reasons.

I have a tag called #bitch session, which is for when I’m grumpy and probably being petty, or just want to complain about how Hard things are in that moment. Feel free to block it.

Below the cut is my list of WIPs (with links!) and meta. x

Honestly being overworked makes people unobservant and passive and it literally kills people every day. People don’t seem to realize that an overworked nurse might not notice your sepsis symptoms and a tired truck driver might not notice your car when he’s merging into the lane. Failing to protect worker’s rights impacts nearly everyone

THIS. I want workers to be treated well for their own sake, but I NEED workers to be treated well for MY sake. We have got to stop glorifying eroding margin into the negative zones.

I tried to ask someone why they make doctors do crazy hours during residential and they were like oh because that will happen when they are doctors and I’m like… You realize that is still bad right?

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whenever people say shit like “i couldn’t be polyamorous, i’m so jealous and possessive. if my partner even LOOKS at another girl/guy i’m gonna kick them out of a window” i’m like well you should probably be working on that. like even if you don’t end up doing polyamory it’s probably good to not be like that

i like people that are jealous and possessive but not when they take it out on me. there is a hormone in men that makes them territorial when they love someone. so it’s not necessarily bad until it becomes toxic.

There is definitely not a hormone in men that makes them territorial.

cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

i’m just saying cake’s music would be widely regarded as so sexy if it wasn’t for all the mariachi horns and vibraslap and the vocalist didn’t always sound like he was explaining his suicide plans to a gun store clerk in sacramento. the world wasn’t ready for them

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digital-morganism-deactivated20

The fact that it sounds like a dispassionate reading of a terrorist manifesto is a feature

The mariachi horns are also a feature

Post I'm probably going to delete later, but fuck it:

I've seen several of this kind of post (mostly on Instagram) and they all share this idea of "they weren't supposed to defund us"

And while I generally have sympathy for how bad it is that academia is getting defunded in wide swathes...this smacks of the STEM superiority complex. The shock is that it can happen to them and not just those "useless, easy" subjects in the humanities. What are they going to do now that they can't make fun of us for being paid so much less?

Time to get off the pedestal about prioritizing STEM and realize that all of the people who are producing knowledge sink or swim together.

In a rare double own-goal the Young Nationals (the youth wing of a conservative party) posted this in their own Facebook comment section today

Naturally they have been getting completely roasted for it in the comments, leading the page to clarify they were actually referencing another blunder.

Problem is, it was a blunder by another Nationals MP that had largely gone unnoticed, so they've just dunked on their own brand twice.

The comments on both are, of course full of references to one of the great AusPol comment blunders of all time, making it possibly a rare three-for-one stuff up.

A follow-up to how cheap they can make a sewing machine:

Okay, but, How expensive can they make a sewing machine?

So, if we start out with a "cheap" machine, what happens when we go up in price.

Welcome to the Brother CS4000. It's a computerized machine and usually runs at like $130 right now. It does all kinds of cool things! The only thing that it doesn't do is last very long.

Well, here's what happens if you take it apart and take out all the circuit boards:

No, there's no missing central component.

If you've never taken a sewing machine apart, this might not look wrong, so let me explain.

This is a Singer Izek, and the same machine with the plastic outer casing removed. Inside, there's a metal frame that all the components are attached to.

See, most modern sewing machines are plastic on the outside, but the plastic is just a cover. The insides have a frame, and the mechanism can function without the shell at all.

That Brother up there doesn't have a frame at all. Everything that should bolt to the frame is just attached to the plastic housing. This is a problem for a lot of reasons. Notably, if the machine is being held up by flexible plastic, then there's no way for the machine to be consistent and precise. Also, the plastic shell serves as a protection, like a bike helmet for your sewing machine. When the components are attached to the outside, your machine becomes very fragile, because hitting or tapping the outside of the machine is the same as hitting or tapping the inside. This is why we don't allow newborn babies to ride bicycles, btw.

Even in a metal-frame machine, there's going to be plastic parts. Putting plastic parts in a sewing machine makes it quieter, more portable, and cuts down on maintenance. People don't fucking do the maintenance anyway, so finding ways to reduce it is going to help the machine run well longer.

Unfortunately, most machines are sold in boxes, where the person selecting the machine has to make a choice by reading the outside of the box. This means things like "This machine has 4672 stitches!" looks good and "this machine has 12 stitches but its brain is not basically exposed to the elements," doesn't. Any description of superiority that requires a human to explain it instead of a catchy tagline just isn't going to sell.

So, when you're looking at the Brother CS 4000 and the Baby Lock Zest, they're about the same price. The Zest has like 12(?)ish stitches, half of which are double-action (the same stitch but it goes forwardbacky instead of just forward) and no width control, and the CS 4000 has more technology in it than we took on the first manned trip to the moon, you might ask why they're the same price. Well, in the Zest, they cut down the features like easy bobbin setting, number of stitches, complexity of internal cams, and other features that you get in higher end machines.

In the CS 4000, they just got rid of...you know...the insides. The. The important parts. Imagine a car where there's no chassis and they just glued the engine to the underside of your hood.

Not all plastic machines are the same.

Anyhow, since I'm possibly unique in the world of budget lolita sewing blogs to be able to make a post about the most expensive sewing machines possible, I'm willing to try to undertake that expedition. Stay posted.

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Almost made the mistake of posting about wanting cereal but how ingesting milk rn would probably fuck me over, and in a rare moment of clarity realized this would only invite a host of well-meaning but annoying people to suggest dairy milk alternatives that either a) will kill me upon ingestion and I do mean that quite literally or b) require a trip to the grocery store which isn’t happening because it’s midnight or c) suggest water on my cornflakes and by all means, you do you, but absolutely not for me, thanks.

And then there’d be the bonus points people who’d get angry over dairy milk as a concept, but also the other people angry over the ecological ramifications of dairy milk alternatives.

So anyway, I saved us all some annoying bullshit and threw a frozen gluten free waffle in the oven 👍

Well now you've done it, you're gonna receive twelve waffle recipes and four people explaining to you in small words why waffles usually have gluten in them, all of whom will defensively ask why you even asked for their input if you tell them you already know.

I’m honestly just amazed no one has accused me of hating pancakes yet.

@paintedpineleaf the timing would matter because I have a mast cell disease and if I eat too many high histamine foods at once, it can cause reactions, including spontaneous idiopathic anaphylaxis because I am not actually allergic to most things I react to, but my body will go into anaphylaxis if my histamine intake has been too high, so I have to keep my foods in a continuous rotation to avoid flare ups.

It’s as fucking awful as it sounds.

What do you put on your waffles?

Maple syrup. Maybe a little salted butter too when I need to increase my fat intake.

I recently made them filled with strawberry jam. That was neat. Like a waffly warm donut.

👀👀👀

How do you make them filled with strawberry jam?? Is the jam in there while you're cooking them, or do you add it in afterwards?

Me: t.A.T.u are iconic quuer culture

Fool: ugh they were just a gay for pay novelty act set up by some dude

Me: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

ok see here's the funny thing, the homophobic member of tATu and the bi member are the same member. The one with dark hair is a bi women who loves Putin and hates gay men. The redhead is a cishet married woman and an ally.

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Anonymous asked:

oh god merry, the HERONS the herons !!! you’ve unlocked a rant i didn’t know i had in me. the wedding venue i work at has a pond, and One(1) heron frequents at the end of winter and this man releases his payload All Over the artificial grass, and i will let you imagine what is it like to clean that out of plastic little grass. i had to get the power washer just to erase this man’s crimes from existence. herons are criminals and they hate love and the sanctity of marriage

Ohh my god NO THAT'S SO BAD

They really just do GO for it, its sort of horrific. The amount of times I've seen one coming and gone NO HIDE because he drops it in the same place every time. Absolute horrors.

Anyway who wants to write a fanfic in which a wedding is ruined by a horrible shitting heron lmao

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guy who plays popular ttrpgs: how do you calculate flame damage

guy who plays indie ttrpgs: how do you calculate ignition ravages

popular ttrpg guy: I am building a warrior this time

indie ttrpg guy: I am building a "muscle" character this time

nobilis guy: the session never really came together but I was going to play as "quiet walks home from loud places"

nobilis players in the tags:

There's enough people in the tags who want to play Nobilis to convene a couple games of Nobilis.

And after all, in the words of Jenna Moran:

Nobilis 4th Edition: coming early 2025

To the people in the tags asking "What's Nobilis," please allow me to share my favorite piece of game-related ephemera ever, the mini-pamphlet giving a quick in-game overview of the world, as compiled by "The Power of Helpful Documentation" (and released around the time the Great White Book was released...)

Interior Page:

Exterior Page:

Enjoy!

Going to a seder at a family friend's place tonight and I have been informed multiple times that someone there has changed her name to Stephanie, but because it seems nobody wants to deadname her, nobody has specified who Stephanie is. So I guess I'm just going to get a surprise Stephanie when I arrive.

congratulations to Stephanie (prev. Elijah) on her transition

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