For the first time since…um…1998, I’m working so darn hard to improve my diet. I’m a sweet and white flouraholic. It’s a real thing, y'alls. I’ve been trying diligently, since Halloween, to eat 5 veggies a day, limit myself to 1 (better) sweet, get the vast majority of my carbs from fruits and veggies, and eat lots of good proteins and fats. That last part has helped a lot with sweet cravings. I'm not after any weight loss, I just need to eat less garbage. Those pics up there are 2 things that have been helping me – spiced nuts, and raw chocolate milk. Not ‘diet’ foods by any stretch, but a whole lot better than the gas station muffins and candy bars I’d been pounding for all of 2017. I’m not looking for perfection, but a BIG ASS improvement. I’m gonna post about it from time to time here, because really, facebook friends don’t wanna know. I’m trying!

I *almost* rode this entire trail without putting a foot down. This short little bastard trail is quintessential New England mountain biking – which I love/hate. It’s rocky, rooty, twisty, the trees are barely spaced wide enough for handlebars, and you could fall into 35 degree water pretty much the whole way. Dang, I wanted to defeat this thing. That said, I’ve gotten so much better on it this year. It was wet and leafy, and I was *this* close.

Next time, Brook Trail. Next time.

Oh cyclocross (my version of a midlife crisis), I ❤ U.

Little Tiny Swim Breakthrough

Maybe all you have to do is complain publicly on Tumblr to finally make a little swim breakthrough...emphasis on LITTLE swim breakthrough here, people. Yesterday I realized that I’ve only been really pulling for about half of my pull. Does that even make sense? When I start my pull, my arm is super lazy, then about halfway through, I give it some oomph. Yesterday I gave that pull some oomph right at the start. The result? A little bit faster, didn’t bother the shoulder, and a whole lot harder. Swimming isn’t easy, you guys, but moments like these give me hope that I can keep doing a little, tiny bit better.

Swim, bike, run, eat chicken wings. Some things never change. My training for the Patriotman 70.3 feels weird. Almost like it's too easy. But I swear, I'm meeting all the benchmarks and trying really hard. As a coach, I tell people that marathons are at least 10 times harder than half marathons. I think there's an even bigger divide the half and full Ironman distances. Right now it feels super manageable and *almost* completely enjoyable, so I'll take it. SWIM If there's a frustrating area for me, this is it. I have a bad right shoulder that can't handle the internal rotation of freestyle or breaststroke, so I'm left with a stroke called the combat sidestroke. I actually love doing the stroke. I feel super fluid, and I don't get tired. It's a slow stroke for an already slow swimmer, but it did get me in 31 minutes before the IMLP swim cutoff. Truth? I feel embarrassed by doing something so different. I don't swim with groups or even go to the pool with friends. One time the lifeguard at the Y yelled to me, "That's not an actual stroke! That's not the side stroke or the breaststroke or anything!" So now I stay at the always empty 18 yard pool at the Comfort Inn. There's a huge part of me that is dying for a swim breakthrough even with freestyle off limits. I mean, the Navy Seals use this stroke and they cruise. So here's what I'm telling myself: 1) It'll be MUCH easier to take 5 minutes off of my transitions rather than my swim. 2) Swimming is probably the best event to have as your slow event, since proportionally, it's such a short piece of the day. 3) Turns out I have a talent for teaching new and phobic swimmers -- so that's cool. 4) This stroke made me an Ironman, so be grateful that someone made it up! CYCLING This year, my biggest goal is to improve my bike, therefore, I've been riding every bike ever invented as often as I can.... Spin bikes, fluid trainer, Wahoo Kick'r, my fat bike, my mountain bike, rollers. See? All the bikes. I even joined a trainer group with a bunch of cyclocross guys just to put myself out there. It's so hard. I'd been discouraged about my recent FTP result and the cx guys set me straight. My friend John said, "Some people are great trainers riders and some people are great outside riders, which one do you want to be?" Well that's an easy question. He also told me that the Wahoo Kick'r will get me super fit, but won't make me a better rider -- that comes from riding outside. Maybe he was lying just to make me feel better, but I've decided to believe him. Plus, riding a bike outside in Maine in the winter? That's not for babies. RUN While it's now my least favorite of the three sports to practice, it's my lifelong sport, it's my best sport, and NOTHING give me the endorphin afterglow like a run. I've been inside and outside this winter doing all kinds of tough workouts from my coach. Yesterday was 5x1 mile repeats at or faster than HM pace, with 1 minute rest inbetween. For me that's 7:30 on down. Whoa nelly! I was intimidated to start, but I had a free hour and went for it. Walked away feeling happy and proud. I'm hoping to unlock my tri run this year. It might come down to backing off a smudge on the bike to leave a little more in my legs. I hover at 20 minutes for a 5k race, but jump up to 23-24 for a tri run. The gap for a 13.1 vs 70.3 is about 30 minutes, 1:40ish to 2:10ish. So there's that. Long story short? SO grateful to feel this level of motivation again. Plus, the shorter training is pretty rad! That said, if you're thinking about an Ironman, do it. Still the best all around experience of my whole life!

Frustration and Dreams

1. I just can't seem to master the 20 minute FTP test. Today I landed on 193. Deflated is a good place to start. I can out ride almost everyone in local sprint tris. Why does the trainer just not reflect that? I know it comes down to the watts/kg ratio. I weigh 150....so it's 2.8ish. Not amazing. But these girls. They kill me on the smart trainer. I kill them outside. I guess that's where it matters. But what gives??? 2. I had my first dream about my goal race, the Patriotman 70.3. It had a grocery store leg -- obviously came between the swim and the bike -- that I just didn't know how to navigate. All I had was a $20,000 bill, which was an inconvenient way to pay for bananas and plastic bags full of water. Then I tried to fill my tires with a vacuum cleaner. So stressful.

This is my version of a pain cave. I call it 'Going Downstairs to Run,' or 'Going Downstairs to Ride.' Except tonight I call it, 'Staying Downstairs After I Ride Because My Husband's Transmission Died and I'm Hiding.' We'll figure it out...we always do...but in the mean time, I don't blame him for being a troll. These things are freak out worthy. On the upside, had a great stint on the rollers tonight. Call me old school, but I love those things.

Fat Biking for Triathletes

My triathlete friends tend to poo poo my fat bike all winter long. You guys, if you live in a snowy area, consider it. 1. You'll get way better at handling a bike. 2. You'll get so frigging fit. 3. Hill repeats in the snow on a 30+ pound bike? Yup. 4. It's so fun. 5. Good for the soul fun. I'm so glad I bought one. It's a super basic Framed Minnesota 1x. I paid $300 and it needed some work, but it's been great. A few of my friends ride the Gravity ($500) from Bikes Direct. It can be very un-fancy, and you'll do just as well on it. The only upgrade I'm going for it studded tires or a set of chains. How fun is that?!

Scored this gem for my birthday. Thanks, Mom! I reserve the right to wear unlimited amounts of Ironman gear from now until the end of eternity, even if I never do another one ever again.

2016 Lefty, 2004 Toyota Matrix

Today I realized that the bike on top is worth a lot more than the car below. Call me crazy, but this is the life I always pictured myself living.

Fa(s)t

Feeling supremely fat from Thanksgiving and 3 solid days of leftovers. I think the rest of America can relate to this sentiment. On the other hand, ran 20:07 in a Thanksgiving morning 5k. Definitely my fastest time since high school. I mean, not even close to high school, but now that it’s been a solid 20 (?!) years, I feel like I can give myself a new bar for PRs. That’s fair, right? Glory Days PRs, Grown Up PRs, then eventually, Masters PRs. That’s how it’s gonna have to be.

I’ve been training hard with my running, but I really feel like mountain biking has a lot to do with that time. If you want to whip yourself into crazy shape, mountain bike. I’m serious. In other news, I’m signed up for The Patriot Half Iron in June of 2017, but today I found myself looking at IMMT. 2018 has officially entered my mind. To the extent that I pulled up a Canadian exchange rate calculator.

I honestly hope the feeling passes.

Sh*t.

Do Do Do Do Do Do (The Mario Theme Song)

So today, I thought it'd be fun to get a Nintendo Classic. It's just what it sounds like, a simple, old school Nintendo, and it was released this morning. In my dreams, this throwback would be the hit of Thanksgiving, and everyone would be SO glad they came to my house. Laughs and memories everywhere. 

I woke up early, hopped online to order it, and was slammed by the realization that this toy was not at all easy to get your hands on -- this thing was hot. After an hour or so of trying, I grabbed my coat and said, "Kids, you're staying home alone. Last time I left you home alone, James broke his arm. Don't do that today." 

I coasted through a few yellow lights, and pulled up to Target 5 minutes before it opened. Holy wow, you wouldn't believe the line. Apparently everyone else wanted some late night Mario action, too.  These people had chairs and blankets. Chairs. And. Blankets. I called Jared and said, "Listen. This is real. They might all be here first, but I know this store like the back of my hand, and I'm an Ironman. These people, they haven't done that race. I want this more. I'm getting to electronics first, babe. Today I win." Jared was on my side. He asked me not to hang up since he really wanted to hear what was about to happen...and happen it did. 

I never pushed, I never shoved, but I ran in my Danskos until my quads burned from the inside out. I remember thinking, "Wow, they waxed these floors last night." But I was nimble, and I was fine. I rounded the corned to the back of the store, so hopped up on adrenaline that I wasn't even out of breath. 

I was the first one there and I was all, "One Nintendo Classic, please." And the Target lady was like, "Can I see your ticket?" And I was like, "No, but you can see my Ironman tattoo." And she was like, "Can I see your ticket?" And I was like, "You can see that I'm here first, ahead of all those power walkers." And she was like, "Listen, we have four Nintendos and we gave out four tickets. No ticket, no Nintendo." And I was like, "Listen, I just hurdled a tie rack in flare jeans and survived, I'll take one Nintendo, please." 

Guess who got the four Nintendos? Yeah. The four people with the four tickets. I can hear the music in my head. Can't you? 

Just super crazy loving the mountain bike right now. So much ❤

In this post-Ironman slump, I'm proud to be trying new things. This week? Cyclocross. I was one of three girls on a mountain bike, and it showed. I was inexperienced, my bike literally weighed twice as much at the cx bikes, and I just straight up didn't know what I was in for. The verdict? Can't wait to do it again. That was way hard and way way way fun. The race was 40 minutes, which is a great length for me. I'll be back in the fall, hopefully with the right kind of bike!

I really don’t drink. We’re talking a few sips of a friend’s beer, maybe twice a summer – that’s the kind of drinker I am. We’re of a strict, no-alcohol religion, and while I tend to be really, really bad at following almost every other church-imposed rule, the no alcohol thing is one that I 99.99% stick to.

However I do keep a jar of really good Bourbon in my sock drawer (another story) – which up until yesterday, I’d never cracked.

One of my best childhood friends died of cancer on Tuesday, and her funeral was on Friday. Cancer took everything from her, except for her friends. Yesterday, after settling back into town, I just wanted to toast to her life, to the games we played, to the dogs we had, to the windows we broke, all of it.

Cue me, secretly filling this little jar with whiskey, and putting it in my Camelback. I rode about a mile on my mountain bike, stopped by the river, toasted Liz, and tossed back maybe a shot and a half, or two, of the good stuff. I intended to have a dribble, but whoa my goodness, it was just so smooth.

It took about 22 seconds for me to get pretty frigging tipsy. I’m an extremely sober lightweight and an already terrible moutain biker, so cue the sideways falling, unknowingly abandoning the trail to ride through the untracked woods, laying on a hiking trail to look at the sky while hikers stepped over me, accidentally (but somehow succsessfully) riding black diamond single track while making the same sounds I would make if I were being sucker punched.

I sent a text that said: Sonic turns out that bourbon and mountain hiking is a terrible combination for me.

It was a shitshow, and the most unsuccessful, unsatisfying mountain bike ride I’ve ever had. I never got any traction. I couldn’t get going for any long stretches without encountering a hiking bridge, or an unpassable rock, or roots that were too hard to navigate.

I wanted my legs to burn, but they never did. I wanted to sweat, but I never got there. I wanted some wind in my face, but my drunken self could never keep the bike up for long enough. Thank goodness my buddy was there to drive me home.

I think the whole thing was kind of reflective of Liz’s adult life, actually. She never had any traction either. Nothing but obstacle after obstacle. She walked the proverbial bike of life more than she ever got to ride it.

I’ll miss her, and I’ll always feel like she was ripped off – because she was. I will also never drunk mountain bike again, because the trails in Maine are way too technical for that business. I’m lucky I still have teeth.

Life After Ironman

Motivation is tough after an Ironman. I knew it would be, so I only signed up for short stuff this fall, and it's been going well -- but the longest run I've done since the big day has been 8 miles. While I've been doing well with the shorter things, I can feel my regular end of the year, holiday slump coming on. I have a duathlon coming up, a beginner cyclocross race, and a Thanksgiving 5k. My care meter is low on all of them. I just registered for a 70.3 in mid June. That's super early for New England, so there won't be much OWS time. Maybe 4 sessions at best? Right now, thinking of 4 and 5 hour workouts makes me want to pre-barf, but my hope is that this will give me a way to stay focused and not-depressed during a Maine winter. I've always been excited when I signed up for races. This time? Dread. Just hoping I know myself well enough that this will be a good thing during the winter. I've only ever done one half, and I had lots of mechanical trouble. This course is also much faster and flatter than Timberman, so I will hopefully have some big success for myself. Here's hoping. For now, pushing it out of my mind.... Will let it back in on January first. I still haven't ordered IMLP finish line pictures. Maybe I'll do that.

I must be the happiest girl in the world tonight on this new rig! I’ve had Lefty dreams since 2001. Long wait. Worth it!