check yourself

i wonder sometimes if I'm still 5 yrs old in my head and I'm "not allowed" to leave home so I still stay home waiting for someone to come home so I'm no longer in trouble for being home alone and also maybe sometimes I can go out and play too (but I don't have anyone to play with so)

all i did was watch kids shows and soap operas and play with dolls which is basically netflix and then video games where you can make ocs

i would get excited on what I now know were bank holidays cause mom would be home and she could make breakfast and hang out with me before she ran errands or did housework

oh I was gonna post about something else but I remembered once when I was a kid, I was watching Out of The Box when I was home alone and they made cardboard or cutout imitations of playground equipment... I don't think I had the materials so I just drew what I could on construction paper and cut it out and showed that to my parents like "look I made a playground park" 😂

I was wondering when the good place for raz and rishi to reconcile would be and it is indeed at the end of the anequina questline

although she still avoids a lot of vegetables and stuff because it’s not only bosmerily wrong but also ICKY to eat stuff from trees, Rishi has taken to eating certain more grain and root type foods (only outside of Valenwood) out of politeness. 

she likes potatoes, radishes, beets, various gourds, and sour fruits. Huge respect for pineapples that attempt to eat her back. sweet things are extremely difficult to eat, and it takes A Long Ass Time to get used to her step-grandparents’ cooking even when it’s meat

and no she cannot tolerate any spiciness whatsoever and yes it IS ironic because she breathes fire 

more rishi things that should be a fic but lol writing

she arrives in elsweyr fresh from the dominion questline, where once completing that she decides it's Time to finish her training, however long it takes

she's also just had an argument w raz. not a big fight but where they're both just kind of stubborn and upset the other isn't compromising but also unwilling to bend on the subject (what is the subject? I don't remember what the end of the dominion questline looks like so I can't tell u yet) and it's just more disappointing than infuriating and they just hit pause without really discussing the details of it (fools)

so she leaves for anequina alone and it sucks to travel thru but she's stubborn about it and eventually winds up carrying her armor and wearing her normal clothes and she buys a camel but it's an asshole and runs off when she gets attacked by bandits

when she finally gets to her dad's family's farm she asks her various cousins to teach her actual desert survival skills before she goes anywhere else

but she wanders off convinced she's an Expert now, fucks it up, gets knocked out, wakes up about to get sold as a slave, and of course it's raz who gets her out of it but she's still upset and he's now upset that there's nothing he can do to work it out ("why is everything raz does making you more angry? you want space, raz gives you space. you're in trouble, raz helps. yet it is not enough!" which is a fair assessment and she can't even tell him what's wrong)

so he gets her home and goes to finish his work and it's embarrassing and she's considering giving up and going home

her grandma reminds her baan dar is strong here so maybe she's being pranked! don't take it so seriously! learn to play the game and dance the dance! why is someone as eager and happy as rishi so discouraged! "go rob a high elf it will make you feel better" (she's joking, or is she?).

and that if it's not a prank, maybe it's a test, and maybe it's not personal

but also that maybe she has to respect the place where she's learning and training just like the akiviri descendants did when they settled here, just like she has to respect the valenwood

which actually finally pisses rishi off because as far as she knows she's been perfectly fine but elsweyr has been unwelcoming! she's a bosmer! she is supposed to be good with land! why is she being shut out! and she stomps out to go have A Word with the land itself

she yells off a small cliff ("YOUR TREES ARE PATHETIC") and throws some stones and blows some fire but nothing happens

until a stranger attacks her. she thinks she's being robbed Again but this time she doesn't even have a knife on her, nor money, or anything... and the stranger tosses her one of his daggers and does a little en gard. it's a little like training if training resulted in actual slicing if she isn't careful

she holds up pretty well but he knocks the knife out of her hand and knicks her face and kicks her over. but she tosses some sand in his face and kicks his dagger out of HIS hand and is about to throw hands when he LAUGHS and calls it in her favor. he grabs the fallen daggers and then sits by the cliff ledge and hands her some dried meat and they gnaw for a bit in silence

then she wakes up at sunrise with one dagger next to her

so it's just as much a test that she'll get up and get up and get up and throw sand and whatever she needs to do, as it is to confirm she's not an outsider asshole. it's not just about throwing yourself at things (she's good at that) but about being flexible and fighting dirty when the enemy is too

she grew up relatively comfortable all things considered but not every land is like valenwood and the oppressors that fight over elsweyr territory will not tell you up front that they will eat you after they kill you

things go a lot better after that and she's able to go complete her dragonknight training

which is a whole other mess :)

once a full dragonknight rishi is just constantly warm. cats and khajiit of various sizes nap on her when possible.

some unedited eso elsewyr screenshots because it’s fuckin beautiful and I’m a ho for desert environs in games