milfs…,, milves,

This is a café? You knew there wasn’t one.

my favorite tidbit about Kung Fu Panda is that China saw it and was like "how the fuck did we not think of this before"

China: we love kung fu and we love pandas

America: *makes a film about a panda who learns kung fu*

China: WHAT THE FUCK

i have a condition that makes me periodically rewatch atla and its called being a fucking genius

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE (2018)

Directed by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey and Rodney Rothman

Art Direction by Dean Gordon and Patrick O'Keefe

Aspect Ratio: 2.39:1

SCREAM

McCree: it’s high noon

This is obviously just Lucio in cowboy attire what’re you talking about

What’s better than a vampire? What’s better than a horse. A Vampire Horse, of course. I made this comic a few months ago.

kids are fuckin wild dude,,,

i walked out of my apartment this morning and a five year old kid was playing outside and immediately he pointed at my aparment and was like “some chinese people used to live there. now someone else does”

and i was like… you mean that one? and pointed at my apartment, the one i literally just walked out of

and he was like “yeah”

and i was like……….. yeah…

the other day I was coming back from work and as I’m walking up to my apartment, he runs up to me with two fistfuls of grass and yells DON’T STEP ON THIS GRASS IT’S FOR THE BUNNIES and drops it in the middle of the sidewalk and i’m just like okay!! :D

this morning I left for work and I heard a tapping noise, so I looked up and he was in the second floor window waving goodbye

today I was walking to my door and he ran up to me and yelled DID YOU KNOW SOMEONE IS COMING and i was like WHOA NO WHO’S COMING

and he tells the girl beside him YOU TELL HIM so she tells me “there’s a guide coming! and he’s invisible!” and ofc i’m like WHOA THAT’S SO COOL and the boy tells me that he’s arriving by helicopter. and the helicopter is also invisible and you can’t hear it either! so I ask why he’s coming and they tell me it’s because it’s his birthday and he’ll be here at exactly 6:00

they’re gonna ring my doorbell at 6 so I can tell the invisible man in the invisible helicopter happy birthday before he flies away

so i said happy birthday to him and they showed me his invisible helicopter and then informed me that I misheard them and that the invisible man was, in fact, God

okay so TODAY i came home from work and he came up to me and was like “i rang your doorbell earlier” and so I told him I wasn’t home and asked what he needed me for and he was like

“i had a question”

so I was like alright what was your question

and he goes “do you have a kitchen?” and I was like… uhh yeah I’ve got a kitchen

and he was like okay and walked away

this is literally the height of comedy tho

Elijah: “Cristine, what are you doing?”

Christine: “Just watching TV.”

Elijah: “You’re in IKEA. It’s not on.”

[X-Files theme plays]

REMIND ME TO REBLOG THIS EVERY MARCH 15TH UNTIL I DIE

im hot

H ard to love O bnoxious T errible

I dunno why it took me so long to draw Izumi. I love big hair. Hahahaha!

Anyway, the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation lookin serious at a policy meeting.

Final sabotage

You cant lose if all the other contestants are dead