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@hansolgp / hansolgp.tumblr.com

. Kim Hansol | 21 | lost boys leader
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nuri had been safe when she’d gone out, she wasn’t denying that because she’d gone out to a safer area that was a little away from gang territory anyway. and she was with a group, never one to go out alone either. it was just the whole fiasco that had unfolded that had her panicking, mostly because of what she’d done, but also the fact that a fight had broken itself out at the same time, and now nuri was intoxicated and all the walls around her just looked the same. panic and alcohol weren’t a good mix after all, and with how her luck was going lately, getting back to her apartment wasn’t going to work. she was pretty sure she’d left her phone back there with her bad too anyway. which sucked just as much as apparently the whole incident itself, as well as being found by her brother.. which was a surprise to her considering at the time of his appearance, she’d been using a shaky hand to try and pick out the pieces of glass in the wound. and however drunk nuri is, it doesn’t mean that his question doesn’t have nuri looking at him in her usual ‘what do you think?’ way. so she doesn’t answer instead. she owed him a lot, sure, but nuri wasn’t blind to the fact that hansol probably didn’t trust her, and he wouldn’t until a dna result came back on it. if she was wrong, then she’d leave again. “people started fighting.. a guy put his hands on me, and i fought back.” was the simplest way she could explain it anyway.
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Hansol sighs lightly, patting the top of her head gently before taking her hand and picking out some of the glass. He wasn’t used to this, being overly affectionate with women. He trusted them less,-- arguably a little more afraid of them than he should be. But he knew she was in a position of need and if she were to try something she wouldn’t be let off easy. It didn’t hep that in ways, he had always wanted a family, one where he had an older brother and a little sister and many other siblings  to share the join and take care of each other.-- But he did want to be the best older brother he could possible. He wasn't going to make her call him Oppa, and for obvious reasons he didn’t want to get himself attached but he wasn’t going to let her sit there and suffer alone. “ What you did wasn’t necessarily bad. You were defending yourself.. So if you’re feeling guilty about it.. Don’t.” He tried, not exactly knowing how to make her feel comfortable. “Do you need me to do anything after we get the glass out of your hand?”
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It probably shouldn’t have stung to have Hansol point out his alcoholism as much as it did. They both knew about Minho’s problem, they just had a silent agreement to not discuss it and now for the first time, it had been brought up. Shoved into his face where he couldn’t ignore it and it horribly only made his hands itch to reach for the bottle. Minho would be lying if he said he didn’t understand where Hansol was coming from but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt him any less. He could feel the last pieces of his composure ripping apart as Hansol explained how he was leaving the ring. Leaving his wedding ring with Minho and not taking it with him. A part of him wanted to be angry again, to lash out and hurt Hansol back for stepping on his heart in such a way but he didn’t. He felt like he had a right to but he couldn’t. He just stood there like a fool watching him getting ready to leave. “I love you. Not anyone else, alive or dead, just you.” The words don’t come out loud or strong but there’s conviction behind them. A last ditch attempt to make sure Hansol knows that he comes first and always will.
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The silence made him uncomfortable, but he knew he wasn’t wrong. Hazel orbs  flickered away, knowing that this? was bigger than them. Minho’s addiction was bigger than him and as much as he wanted to make it about Fay, or the lack of trust that had somehow wedged in between the two.. He just couldn’t bring himself to say anything more. A lump forces its way down his throat, fingers curling deeper into the bag as he let out a sigh. he wouldn’t cry about leaving, he wouldn’t cry about this.. Because if they decided to get back together.. then.. it wasn’t the end. He decided he wouldn’t cry until the end. His lips part in  thought as his confession hi is ears.. and While Hansol feels like he could believe it, there’s a part of him that just doesn’t believe it. “I wish I could tell if you’re lying.. You can’t..” He paused to look away for a bit, “You can’t tell me you love her and then when I’m leaving tell me you don’t.-- Just before this gets to a spot where we can’t fix this..Where I don’t come back or you don’t come back or whatever-- Just.. call me when you know what you want. When You’re sure of how you feel.:”
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“i think i’ve destroyed enough of them to make my point right about now. so no, i’m not going to. even if we both know that getting rid of them won’t hurt anyone, really.“ he rolled his eyes a little, not even looking back to see hansol, already knowing it was him. he was no threat anyway, and it had been a while since they’d seen each other really. seung missed few people he supposed, but hansol was one of the few that he actually did like in this world, and he appreciated him really. so his presence was welcomed. “i was just heading home, today’s been busy– unless you have something in mind.“ he turned to look at him then, head tilting a little. “listening board? i don’t think i have anything i need to say, but you’re welcome to stick around. i’ll.. listen to whatever you have to say i guess, don’t expect advice that is decent though.“
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“To be fair, it’d probably would benefit us more in the end. Split their gambling halls  half and half.. Recruit the ones we like.. It’s starting to sound appealing, Hyung.” He was truly grateful for some time with the other. As it reminded him that he could comfortably be himself  without any judgement-- The darker parts of his mind would flourish at times like this but it also brought out.. different, much softer sides of Hansol that other’s didn’t quite get to see.  He smiled a bit, arm wrapping around the other’s  lightly, “I’ll stick around, but you really don’t have any urgent, life changing details to tell me? I just have boring old marriage problems that.. I don’t want to discuss right now.”
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his past few days had been.. productive, to say the least anyway. mostly in the way of a lot of death, and a lot of changes that needed to be done. be that releasing members of their duties in the only way that they deserved, or changes around his gang to make them stronger and safer. more patrolling of their borders, catching anyone that even thought they could get near them, and in general just making sure that the nameless weren’t going to be the next struck. they’d already been framed, and he wasn’t about to let anyone decide that they could just come and run them over like the snakes had. but now after a long day, a tiring day, as he makes his way slowly back to his apartment, the sound of footsteps don’t go amiss behind him. “unless you have business with me that needs attended to immediately, i suggest you turn around and walk the other way while i’m in a good mood.” it was debatable how good that mood even was, but it was good enough that he hadn’t just turned around and lashed out instead.
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“If that business includes checking up on you and making sure you’re not gonna destroy the outlaw bloods-- then yes it’s business that needs to be attended to immediately. I also have no where else to go.” Hansol sped his walk in order to catch up to the other, giving him a gentle smile as he looked up at the other.  It had been a while since the two hung out, usually going to each other to go on bloody rampages or finish of what was left of both of their parents. But now that those two things were done  and he had spent as much time as he could with Minho; he just thought it was time to check on his friend. “What are your plans for tonight? We should do something. Talk about the old times, talk about what’s new. I’ll be your listening board or whatever if you’ve got shit to say. Can’t be that bad.”
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she wasn’t violent, and she didn’t like to be violent, but apparently there was even so much that nuri could take. especially when it came protecting herself anyway, and with the newfound situation her gang had apparently found themselves in. but still, going out with some of the few friends she’d made that had insisted on her joining them at a more safe venue.. she hadn’t expect it to turn out this way, but after a few drinks, apparently the night just didn’t want to go well. one moment everyone’s having fun, next some guy has her hands on her and others are fighting. it was kind of a blur, but what nuri did know was that she’d smashed her friends bottle over his head. and now she was out. didn’t know where she actually was but she wanted away from the situation.. to wash the blood off her hands from it, and the sting from the glass that was probably actually in her hand would come soon. but she was too wired right now to think straight, the alcohol making her head spin as she finally just rested against the closest wall. and here she was, the normally far too calm and collected female just.. not that right now. not with the shaking and confusion there. and god, this wasn’t even something that happened because she was in a gang, it was something that could’ve happened at any time. but maybe she was more prepared this time, because before she probably wouldn’t have resorted to violence.
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It was a call that sent him into alarm; hearing some street soldiers claim that Nuri was out and about on the town and had somehow smashed  some guy in the back of the head with a beer bottle and was now running off somewhere, was definitely not a pleasant call, and when he was already stressed out with the perpetration between him and his.. husband? if that’s even what they were now, seemed to pile more onto that stress. When he had met her the first time he didn’t really believe that they were  related. Sure his father probably had many illegitimate children but he didn’t understand how she managed to find him first; when to so many people, he was probably presumed dead. The second time, she had caught him in a good mood, feeling thankful for his blessings in life and thoughtfully, apart of him wanted to believe that he had some good family out there. He remembered his Aunts and cousin-- but it didn’t seem  appropriate for him to ever see them again. Not after everything that happened. He sped through out the streets, waiting and waiting for him to arrive at the club before he goes searching out for her, somehow stumbling upon her resting against the wall, “Uh.. You okay?” he asks, not very tactful, hansol. “What happened?”
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✉️Text: Handad 🍑👅

Bae: Can you do me a favor?
Bae: Bean is at Taemins house 😭 can you go get him for me?
Hansol: Yeah, sure text me the address.
Hansol: let him know i'm coming too
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He mostly ignored Hansol’s response. He didn’t want to explain it to him, he didn’t know how to. There was too much there. How much he’d loved her, how she had never deserved anything that had happened to her, how his brothers rented him, how he was young and dumb, how the whole reason he refuses to carry out anything bloody is because he can’t get the image of her dead eyes out of his head, how the whole reason he drowns himself in a bottle is because it’s easier than admitting to himself that everything was his fault. Hansol deserved something now. Some kind of explanation. It was as he heard his husband enter the room that the words finally came out, as clunky and stuttered as they were. “My brothers killed her when I got the heirship. I’d known her since I was eleven and they left her body on my bed.”
It’s as if a shoot went down his spine as Hansol commented on his drinking. It wasn’t something they ever truly discussed maybe because they were both too scared to. They both just left it hanging there. Minho spiked his drinks as often as he could and Hansol would just sit there and watch, both not wanting to address the issue there. “I’ll drink if I want to. You don’t get to decide that for me.” There’s not as much bite behind the statement as there could be, his brain not providing enough energy to even be angry at Hansol was right. It was probably why his hand pushed away from the bottle in juxtaposition to his words. “Don’t…” Don’t go. He runs a hand through his hair as his other hand continues to play with Hansol’s ring before finally holding it out to him. “At least take this if you’re going to leave. Please don’t leave it here, you should be wearing it.”
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 Hazel orbs wanted to feel sorry for him; wanted to extend that bridge of maturity so that he wouldn’t say anything stupid and they could just move past this like it was a small bum in a large road. But it was hard for him to do. He was sure it must of hurt, stumbling upon the murder scene of someone  you loved gad to be traumatic. And it wasn’t like Hansol thought he was lying. But he just, didn’t want to hear it right now. He didn’t want to feel bad for him right now. Not when the other had indirectly made him feel bad about himself  for not knowing .

“The first sign of addiction is not being able to admit you have a problem.” He commented, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. it was an awkward quiet; the kind where it was clear he was uncomfortable and that there was something pressing his mind. Perhaps he was stalling, but he felt like this needed to happen. There were a lot of things that went left unsaid in their relationship-- A lot of things that; when one thought about it were serious issues that needed to be discussed but hansol was afraid of leaving too, no matter how bad he knew he should. “I think.. We should think this through.. what we really want and what we’re ready to put up with.. I know I’m not perfect or some type of catch.. but.. I need to think on things. and leaving now.. without the ring.. is probably my best bet.” He says, starting towards the door.

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💭IMessage;; SQUAD 💯

Minki: isn't it best to just.. stay quiet? don't react and it won't draw so much attention
Minki: lot of people can be dumb though. i think.
Liau: minho i'm being serious
Liau: yeah we're a gang. that doesn't instantly mean we'll get along
Liau: nobody wants to hear death threats right now. we're all scared and being told we'll get bullets in our heads isn't exactly helpful
Liau: hansol you might not trust me, but i took an oath. i wouldn't do anything in spite of you
Liau: and dabin that was uncalled for
Liau: minki's right. we should stay out of the open until this passes over
Hansol: Liau don't talk to him like that.
Hansol: I don't know what the fuck has gotten int your guys's heads that you THINK this is some kind of Democracy, but it's not. It's a hierarchy with me on top and then Minho.
Hansol: You need to respect your leaders. And it doesn't matter if we get along. You all took an oath TO ME. To this gang. And whether you like Dabin or Minki. Nuri-- I don't care. You can like and dislike whoever you want. But you will operate how and when I tell you.
Hansol: But that's what we want for you guys to do; lay low and if you guys are just now figuring it out I need to go replace some people because we made that command a while ago
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💭IMessage;; SQUAD 💯

☀️🐶 Liau 🐶☀️: we gotta stick together through this everyone
☀️🐶 Liau 🐶☀️: things look like crap rn but we've been through worse
☀️🐶 Liau 🐶☀️: i'm not sending this as some kind of shitty pep talk. i'm sending this bc we're all wanted for something we didn't do
☀️🐶 Liau 🐶☀️: this could be the only way to clear our names
Minho: oh fuck off
Minho: there are no reminders to stick together. we're a gang that goes without saying
Minho: if any of you want out just say and i'll make sure you have a bullet in your head by morning
Minho: there's no pep talks or 'we are all in this together' crap
Minho: get your shit together you fucks, keep your heads low and if any of you make this situation worse i will again put a bullet in your head
💙🥑 Dabon'em 🍑💙: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbrbUfYSt0E
💙🥑 Dabon'em 🍑💙: I don't think clearin our names will work
💙🥑 Dabon'em 🍑💙: The other gangs are out for blood and they're all threatened by us so of course we're gonna be their number one suspect
💙🥑 Dabon'em 🍑💙: Sticking together isn't an option
💙🥑 Dabon'em 🍑💙: We have to play our cards right
Hansol: Please if any of you guys want out?? tell me.
Hansol: just say goodbye to your family for me.
Hansol: I don't have anything to say to you all except for if you did it you're number one on my hit list.
Hansol: Though i know none of you pussies would actually be that dumb...
Hansol: i hope.
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✉️Text: Husband💕

Minho: idk if you even want to talk to me rn
Minho: but you really need to convince the boys that you didn't plan the attacks
Minho: too many of them are gossiping that you did it
Minho: and i don't think it's good if i break any more of their jaws today
Hansol: if they think I did it they can leave
Hansol: I'm not in the mood for dumb ass kids
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Minho can only feel his anger rising as Hansol continued to spit words at him. He deserves it and he knows he does. He never speaks about his past, has never even hinted at Fay’s existence yet here he is getting angry at Hnasol for speaking so flippantly about her when he doesn’t even know who she is. “Will you shut the fuck up and let me explain!” Raising his voice wasn’t a good idea, it wasn’t going to help him and all it would end up doing is heightening the situation but Minho was stuck. An onslaught of seven years of repressed emotions was hitting him at once and it was hard for him to take it. Until he was suddenly having to catch Hansol’s ring and the sensation of a bucket of water falling on his head overcame him.
That was their wedding ring. Minho’s hands had shaken when he’d put it on Hansol’s finger and now Hansol was angry enough to throw it right back at him. Minho was hung up on Fay, it wasn’t something he could deny, he’d loved her and lost her and never let himself grieve. But he loved Hansol. Hansol was his everything – his soul mate even if Minho didn’t really believe in that idea – and Minho was having to watch him pack his bags in a fit as rage as he just stood there. He couldn’t move as he watched trying to rack his brain for something to do to make him stop, to make things right, but as the anger ebbed out of him he was only left with a headache and now answers. “I’m sorry.” His voice comes out shaky as he gets out of the bedroom as quick as he can, Hansol’s wedding ring still clasped in his hand. He can’t remember making the decision to start fishing through the liquor cabinet but he’s not surprised by his actions. His heart is cracking and he only knows one medicine for it.
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He wanted to reel himself back; he really did. But he found that hard to do when his insecurities were eating him up inside. Sure this woman was dead, she was gone and it wasn't like she was there to take him away from the other-- but at the same time, she had enough impact on Minho that he had done two things that he had never done to Hansol in their seven year long friendship, even. Minho had never lied, nor had he ever cursed at him. And that scared Hansol. Someone had so much power over him that it changed their relationships and Hansol didn't know how to channel that fear into words. "Go, explain your punk ass little love story." He says, though he isn't sure if he's ready or actually wants to hear it.

He knew Minho had problems, just as much as Hansol had his own, and he slows himself down at the silence; his sudden race to packing his bag and leaving slowed down to now him just leisurely throwing clothes in a bag as if he was packing early for some sort of vacation. The words hit his ears but he's still angry, still mad that this is what their relationship had come to; shaky apologies and rushes to get angry at each other. It annoyed him.  But he doesn't say anything back, fear that he might get overly aggressive again. He's takes his time to sit on the bed, hands running through his hair as he tries to think of why this bothered him so much and why Minho was still so hung up on her-- but when he goes to actually try and talk it out he stiffens, looking at the selected liquor bottle before grabbing his bag  and dragging it back into the room. "You shouldn't drink since you're taking care of Minki. There's left overs for the next couple of days so don't order mcdonalds every night because you're lazy.  Don't drink while you're in charge because I probably won't show up with gang shit. If you can even be sober for a couple of days."

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Anonymous asked:

how can you run your gang properly if you're fighting with your second in command?

“I find it funny you're trying to throw shade like this when you could be asking all of the Outlaw bloods the same thing-- wait, that's right, you can't they don't have a leader and that's why they got attacked.--Oh, wait. They do. No one just knows who the fuck it is, right? They should've been wiped out ages ago. But hey, guess what kid? There's a difference between home life and professional life; just because I'm fighting with my husband, doesn't mean I'm fighting with my second command. It's funny how I haven't even finished middle school and even I know something as simple as that, fucking dumb ass.”
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