Uhh, hi. My name's Holly. Yeah, I know, it's so... Christmasy. But unlike the plastics in the school dance committee, I'm not exactly feeling warm and jolly about the winter formal. My boyfriend Darren dumped me like a stocking full of coal over Thanksgiving Break to go out with my ex-best friend, and my new crush is super-hottie football star Nicholas Mistletoe. He doesn't even know I'm alive, and if he did, why would he want to go out with me--the daughter of Krampus? I guess it's true what they say--holidays are Hell. *Fall Out Boy's "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" plays*
Holly, into her Blackberry phone: And they scheduled the winter formal for Christmas Eve. My dad expects me to hang out with him all evening at his job. What am I supposed to do?
Her quirky best friend, Chrissy Claus, on the other end of the line: Have you ever considered, like... talking to your dad about this stuff?
Holly: Your dad is literally the jolliest man alive. Mine is straight from the Fifth Circle of the underworld. Connect the dots?
Chrissy: Yeah, yeah. Look, it's not all sugarplums and candy canes here, either. Dad gets suuuper stressed. He doesn't even have time to listen to the carols I write. Hey, you're still going to perform with me, right?
*Holly collides with Nick. The hot cocoa she's carrying flies back in her face.*
Chrissy: ...Holly?
Holly, strangled: Uhm... TTYL?
Holly: Nick... are you sure it's cool if I keep your jacket during lunch like this?
Nick: Hey, yeah. Listen, I totally wasn't looking where I was going. I don't want you to have to walk around with a messed-up shirt all day.
Holly: No, I mean... would it be cool with your girlfriend?
Nick: Oh, Crystal? I'm sure she'd be fine with it. She's not so scary, when you get to know her. *He sounds unsure of himself.*
V.O.: That had about as much chance of being true as a snowball had of staying frozen in Miami, but Nick made it somehow... believable. Ugh. I'm in way too deep.
Nick: Hey, do you want to maybe have lunch with us? You know, just if you're not, like, busy or anything.
Holly: Wait, seriously? I mean...
*She tucks a strand of hair behind her horns and looks at the popular kids' table.* *Several beautiful girls sit there, reapplying lip gloss.*
Holly: I'd... well...
*Holly looks back toward her previously-established friend group consisting of Chrissy Claus, an obligatory flamboyant gay guy, and a nerd to show that they're the misfit crowd.* *Chrissy gives her a thumbs-up and a smile.*
Holly: I'd love to!! Uh, I mean... sounds cool, yeah. Whatever. *Britney Spears' "My Only Wish This Year" plays*
*Holly finishes washing her face in the school bathroom and looks up.* *Crystal and her obligatory posse of popular girls stand behind her*
V.O.: At that moment, I stopped caring about Nicholas, my dad's freaky job, and how messed up my life was. Mostly because I was too busy watching that life flash in front of my eyes.
Holly: Okay, listen, if this is about lunch, I--
Crystal, cheerily: Hi! I'm Crystal. I feel like we didn't really get to know each other earlier, so me and the girls thought you could come with us to the mall.
Holly: ...come again?
Snow Angel 1: It's just... you have great skin, and you don't even look that weird right now. Which says something. Crystal's dad gave her his credit card, and we could totally get you something to replace the mom jeans.
Holly, anxious: I don't know about this.
Snow Angel 2: Oh, and we're going to Nick's place after the mall, if you want to come.
Holly: Yes! I mean--
Crystal: Great! But first, I have a sweater in my car that could replace... that.
Holly: What I'm wearing now? But Chrissy bought this for me last year.
Crystal: Aww, she's so sweet. But come on. I mean, black and red? Goths went extinct in the 90's, honey. Let me take care of that.
Holly: I--
Crystal: We'll get you something cute for Nick's party today. Trust me.
*She examines Holly's face with a critical eye and a perfectly lip-glossed smile.*
Holly: ...okay. Sure. It's old, anyway, right?
Crystal: Oh, sweetie, of course it is. Follow us.
*Aly and AJ's "Greatest Time of Year" plays* *Montage of Holly hanging out with the popular girls at the mall, school, and parties* *Minimum of three shots of Holly's friends looking lonely are included* *Shot #4 is of sad Chrissy on the eve of the school's winter talent show*
Chrissy: Come on, come on, pick up...
Gay best friend Jesse Cross: Oh, honey, she's not coming.
Chrissy, tearfully: But I can't perform our duet without her!
Jesse: There's always next year?
Chrissy: That's not true...
Jesse: I know, girl. Let's tell the MC you can't go on tonight. I'll buy you cocoa and give Holly a piece of my damn mind tomorrow.
Chrissy: I'll just try to call her, one more time...
*Holly is at Crystal's house* *Her phone rings on the table* *Crystal snags it and shuts it off before Holly notices*
Holly: Did you hear something?
Crystal: Some nobody.
Holly: Come again?
Crystal, brightly: Nope. Nothing. Hey, I'm bored--let's take my dad's cruiser out. It even has enough room for your... *She indicates Holly's horn situation vaguely*
Holly, hesitant, as though she's forgetting something: Uhh... sure.
Holly: You let me miss the talent show... on purpose?
Crystal, leaning against the gym wall with her posse: Uh, yeah. Thought that was obvious, Morticia.
Snow Angel 1: Is there a legit reason you're being a total b-word right now, or...?
Holly: Are you freaking kidding me? Chrissy is my friend. My BEST friend. Something you three wouldn't understand.
Crystal: I understand that you're a whiny, ungrateful weirdo who would rather cry about missing a talent show than hang out with the only people in school anyone cares about. Yeah. I get it.
Holly: Seriously?!
Snow Angel 2: Listen, charity case. If you think we were being such sweethearts to you for any reason other than to look good in front of Nick, you're out of your mind.
Crystal: Read my lips, sugarplum: you're a freak who knows she's a freak, and before we pulled you out of the depths of loserville, you hung out with freaks.
Holly: I... I...
Nick: ...Crystal?
*Crystal startles* *The Snow Angels' mouths drop open in unison*
Crystal: Um... hi, sweetie!
Nick: No. Don't do that. We're not doing that. Why were you saying that terrible stuff to Holly?
Crystal: W-we were just... *She looks for support from her squad* *They look the other way* Why are you even here?
Nick: I don't know. I got a text from a hidden number telling me to come to the gym after school..? Whatever. Doesn't matter. Crystal, I should have done this a while ago. We're done.
Crystal: WHAT?!
Nick: Holly, do you... need a ride home?
*Crystal is too horrified and furious to speak* *Holly wipes a tear, then blushes*
*Outside the gym, Jesse Cross listens in, satisfied*
*He looks at his screen, where an anonymously-sent text to Nick sits*
Jesse: The Lord works in mysterious ways, bitch. *"8 Days of Christmas" by Destiny's Child plays*
Nick: Holly! Wait!
Holly: Nick?
*Nick skids to a stop with his hockey skills; he is on every sports team*
Nick: Listen, I still feel really bad about what happened. You know I don't think that about you, right?
Holly: Of course I do.
Nick: I think you're really cool. And, um... if you're not doing anything on Christmas Eve... I want you to come to the dance with me.
*Small gasp from the other students waiting to be picked up after school*
Holly: Nick, I... I'd love to.
*The crowd cheers* *Chrissy smiles from the crowd, happy for Holly* *Nick goes to hug Holly, then freezes*
Off-screen ominous voice: ℌ𝔢𝔶, 𝔫𝔬𝔴. 𝔜𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔤𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔞𝔯𝔢𝔫'𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔢?
*Holly whirls around* *Her dad stands on the curb behind her*
V.O.: You know that feeling you get when you wake up from a nightmare, and everything's okay? Yeah. Try the opposite of that.
Holly: D-dad, please, it's actually important to me this year. My friends, Chrissy, Nick, they're all going--
Krampus: 𝔇𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔪𝔢, 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔶. 𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔡𝔢, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔪𝔢𝔞𝔫𝔰 𝔫𝔬 𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔩.
Nick: Mr. Nacht, I think you should consider what she's saying.
Krampus: ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔱. 𝔖𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔣𝔦𝔢𝔡? *He extends a hand to Holly* ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔢, 𝔫𝔬𝔴. ℑ𝔱'𝔰 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔴𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔶-𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔯𝔡. 𝔓𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔯𝔡𝔢𝔯.
Holly, sadly taking her father's hand: I'll... see you next year, Nick.
Chrissy: Mr. Nacht, we won't let you--
*A whirl of hellfire erupts around Holly and her father* *They vanish*
Chrissy: --do this.
Krampus: 𝔖𝔬 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔰 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩, 𝔞𝔫𝔡... 𝔦𝔱 𝔡𝔬𝔢𝔰𝔫'𝔱 𝔰𝔢𝔢𝔪 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲'𝔯𝔢 𝔭𝔞𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫.
Holly: Gosh, Dad, don't know why I wouldn't be paying attention when you took me away from my friends to help you scare children into behaving.
Krampus: ℑ'𝔳𝔢 𝔥𝔞𝔡 𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔬𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔢, 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔩𝔞𝔡𝔶. 𝔒𝔲𝔯 𝔧𝔬𝔟 𝔦𝔰 𝔠𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔠𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔠𝔠𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 ℭ𝔥𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔞𝔰--
*A red Volkswagen Beetle rolls up at top speed and screeches to a halt* *It's blasting NSYNC's "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays"*
Holly: Chrissy? Jesse?!
Krampus: 𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱.
Chrissy: Holly, you're coming with us.
Holly, tearing up: I... guys, I'm sorry, I can't.
Chrissy: Oh, for Jesse's dad's sake... *She exits the car and slams the door* Mr. Nacht, your daughter's coming with us.
Krampus: 𝔒𝔲𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔮𝔲𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫. 𝔏𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔢, ℭ𝔩𝔞𝔲𝔰𝔡𝔬𝔱𝔱𝔦𝔯--
Chrissy: No, you listen to me! It's Christmas Eve, and your daughter has a chance to be the happiest she's ever been. You may be from the Fifth Circle, but you can't convince me you've never understood what being in love is like.
*Krampus pauses, then looks at a photo he keeps in his wallet* *It's a picture of Satan, whom he's gay married to*
Krampus: ℑ 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔰𝔥, 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫'𝔱 ℑ, ℌ𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔶?
Holly: ...maybe a little?
Krampus: ℑ 𝔤𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔶 𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤. 𝔊𝔬 𝔱𝔬 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 "𝔴𝔦𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔪𝔞𝔩" 𝔦𝔣 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔰𝔬 𝔴𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔦𝔱. 𝔊𝔬𝔬𝔡-𝔟𝔶𝔢.
*Holly tears up and hugs her father* *She then runs and hugs Chrissy, who squeaks in surprise and then laughs*
Jesse: Let's go, bitches! The night is young! And I still have to get you a dress, honey. You're not rolling up to the formal in combat boots.
Holly: Oh, ah, right! *She and Chrissy snap apart, then pile into the car*
Chrissy: There he is!
*Nick stands in the middle of a crowd of dancers, but has no one to dance with... until he sees Holly*
Holly: Oh my god. Do I look okay?
Chrissy: Gorgeous. Go get him, tiger.
*Holly moves toward him* *Chrissy watches her go* *Jesse puts a hand on Chrissy's arm and snaps her out of it*
Nick: Holly! I thought you couldn't come!
Holly: Hey, Christmas miracle, I guess. Come on. *She smiles, tucks a strand of hair behind her horns, and begins to dance with him* *Toni Braxton's "Snowflakes of Love" plays*
*All eyes are on the couple* *Nick spins Holly, then pulls her into a kiss* *They pull apart, but there's something missing--a spark* *Both of them look lost*
Holly: I'm... I have to go pee. Uh. Now.
Nick: Uh... yeah, sure. Go ahead.
*Holly runs to the bathroom* *She bursts in and washes her face, shaking her head*
V.O.: I'd won. I had everything I wanted: Nick, right in front of me, gorgeous and single and everything. And my stupid brain wouldn't let the night feel normal.
Attractive Girl in Scene Fashion: You look lost.
V.O.: ...or maybe it had just been trying to send me gut signals that something was seriously up.
*Holly looks at the attractive girl* *Recognition dawns*
Holly: ...Crystal?!
Crystal: So... I wanted to say sorry. About being a jerk.
Holly: Who are you and where's Crystal?
Crystal: Uh... surprise! I am Crystal. I know it's hard to believe, but it's me.
Holly: What happened?!
Crystal: After Nick dumped me, I lost my squad and spiraled pretty hard. It took a lot of soul-searching bullshit to realize that I had been living my life the way my dad expected me to: dating the popular guy, wearing Prada to freaking high school.
Holly: Always thought that was weird.
Crystal: It wasn't me. And I was... miserable. So, even though I'm still sad about everything I did... I think I'm going to be a lot happier now. I dunno. How's your night with Nick?
Holly, hesitant: Um...
Crystal: What's wrong?
*Holly pauses*
Holly: I... I don't know. I've been hoping for this for so long, and now that it's here, I don't feel right. Nick's nice, and he's cute, but... I...
Crystal: I think we were in the same boat.
Holly: How?
Crystal: More into the idea of Nick than the actual guy. I mean, seriously, how much do you know about him?
Holly: ...he likes sports?
Crystal: Listen, Holly, love isn't about thinking someone's hot and nothing else. It's more than that. Love's about... showing up when someone needs you, sharing everything, being there no matter what. God, this is lame of me. Sorry.
Holly, realizing something: Huh. I... wow. You put that surprisingly well.
Crystal: Something else on your mind?
Holly: Yeah. There's someone I need to find. *She rushes out*
Jesse: Listen, trust me, I get it.
Chrissy: Yeah, I know, and I really am happy for her. It's just... kinda hard.
*Holly runs out of the dance* *She sees Chrissy and Jesse* *Jesse notices her first*
Jesse: Hey, Chrissy, I just realized that I totally forgot my shoes in the gym.
Chrissy: But you're wearing--
*Jesse takes off his heels and chucks them into the dance* *He runs in after them*
Holly: Chrissy?
Chrissy: Oh! Hey, Holly! What are you doing here? Where's Nick?
Holly: Uh, he's... he's at the dance...
Chrissy: Then shouldn't you be..?
Holly: Chrissy, I like Nick, but that's it. Sure, he's hot, and he's great with a hockey stick, but the connection's not there.
Chrissy: What are you saying?
Holly: I'm saying that... here goes... there's someone else I want to go to the dance with.
*Chrissy blinks, then realizes*
Chrissy: Really?
Holly: Really. Like, really really. Chrissy, you're the most amazing person I know, and you're really freaking pretty, and...
*Chrissy cups Holly's face, grinning* *Holly blushes and shuts up*
*They kiss* *Holly's tail waves* *Christina Aguilera's "This Christmas" swells in the background*
Chrissy: That was--
Holly: Uh, a Christmas miracle?
Chrissy: Okay, yeah, but I wouldn't have expected you to say something that cheesy.
Holly: Miracle's not over. You know the DJ, Aurora? She owes me a favor.
*Smash cut to Krampus reading a text from Holly* *It reads "SKIP THE BOREALIS HOUSE PLS THX <3 U DAD"* *He huffs, but smiles*
Chrissy, hand over her mouth: Do you mean..?
Holly: I wasn't there for you during the talent show, but I'm going to be here for you from now on. How about a duet?
*Chrissy takes her hand* *They re-enter the gym for the dance* *The song they perform is, you're goddamn right, "All I Want for Christmas is You"*
*During the performance, Jesse, who is going wild with support, trips* *Nick catches him in his arms for the sequel tease*
V.O.: So, yeah. My name's Holly. It's Christmasy, and I'm... cool with that. I'm not the most popular girl in school, and I didn't get a prince charming, but I got something more important: the coolest girlfriend in the world. Someone amazing enough to make me believe--ugh, here goes--that holidays might not be Hell. So au revoir, sayonara, good night, and Happy Holidays from me and Chrissy.
*Fade to black* *Credits sequence is set to "Deck the Halls" by Relient K and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" by the Barenaked Ladies ft. Sarah McLachlan*
Happy anniversary to the greatest Christmas movie ever created exclusively through tumblr posts!
