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@lcvebee / lcvebee.tumblr.com

she/her 20
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dysphoresque

When frankenstein's creature said accursed creator! Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from me in disgust? And when Judas said why didn't you make me good enough so that you could've loved me? And when wych elm said why did you do this to me? I was your baby. You made me. But then sophokles said, i am the shape you made me, filth teaches filth.

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Jeremy Miranda (American, b. 1980, Newport, RI, USA, based Dover, NH, USA) - 1: Kitchen Pt 2, 2022  2: April Fire Sketch, 2022   3: Neighbors 4  4: End of Day Studio Interior, 2022  5: Living Room, 2022  6: Turpentine, 2016  7: Spring Interior with Sink, 2022  8: Side Yard, 2021, Paintings: Acrylic on Panel

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probuccalfat

i blog for girls who were deeply lonely in elementary school and stayed that way

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femblogger

no matter how many friends i make, nothing's new. the feeling in my chest remains.

hey, i made this post forever ago and i want you to know: i don’t feel lonely anymore. i think i’ll always carry a ribbon of loneliness through who i am ( shout-out mary oliver ) because i was alone during my most formative years, but the loneliness i carry with me isn’t an actual state of being — it’s a memory of being lonely, it’s a state of being i used to be intimate with, it’s a familiar feeling that doesn’t challenge my perceptions or beliefs about the world or myself. it’s the blanket i put over myself when i don’t know any better or i’m scared of better.

i don’t know when it happened, but it did. i hope and pray it’ll happen to all the lonely girls that see themselves in this post — you can put your loneliness down, it has a home with the thousands of other lonely girls. come by once in a while to honour it, but know that your loneliness can keep mine company while we go live our lives.

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oarfjsh

they probably cant love me back in a human or even mammalian sense, but my goldfish with their smooth pea-sized brain have learned to trust that i will make them better when they are sick. i feel like crying about this often

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