how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”

you're telling me this j pegs

how many elizabethan people do we think spontaneously realized they were lgbt after watching twelfth night be performed

imagine being a repressed teenager in 1602 and going to the theatre to see the new play that's being put on and it's about a love triangle between a man, a woman, and a woman disguised as a man who both the man and the woman fall in love with, and because it's elizabethan england both the woman and the woman disguised as a man are played by young men. I would have turned transgender on the spot I think

I think there’s nothing funnier than accidentally clicking on someone’s tags on a reblog, because you basically have to say “no tumblr i wasnt looking for every post on the site tagged as ‘i need you to understand that he gives me more mental illness than you can comprehend’ but thank you for your efforts”

i don't really get the point of this

Ok Dumb Fuck

You're telling me this surgery can make me a top??

bear in mind? well. there is now

2022-06-24

They should invent a body that works

I think they have baths AND bodies that work but you need to go to one specific store chain for them

tag yourself i’m “spent a month in london”

two things: I hate change and having my routines interrupted. I hate things being the same it’s boring

u dont like puter ? 💻? beep boop?

Hello I am the tiny penis doctor. You might notice that the placard on my desk says big penis doctor, that is because the hospital calls me the big penis doctor so if you have a tiny penis you do not have to ask for the tiny penis doctor, you simply ask for the big penis doctor and that way nobody knows you have a tiny penis. I am sorry my friend I have left the intercom on so now the entire hospital knows you have a tiny penis, I am so sorry

my birthday is in july! :)