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唯のちゃちな存在

@loopholeslooles / loopholeslooles.tumblr.com

Asian bi-ethnic. Japan. Malaysia.
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i also think intelligence is way too glorified and its seen as like the pinnacle of human worth when traits like compassion and goodness factor way more into our actual decisions+interactions

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And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

the most depressing quote from her diaries:

“I have served a genius for almost forty years. Hundreds of times I have felt my intellectual energy stir within me and all sorts of desires - a longing for education, a love of music and the arts… And time and again I have crushed and smothered these longings… Everyone asks, “But why should a worthless woman like you need an intellectual or artistic life?” To this question I can only reply: “I don’t know, but eternally suppressing it to serve a genius is a great misfortune.”

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akare-kay

“I used to be too respectful to disagree with Tolstoy, but after I got into my sixties my faculty of respect atrophied. Besides, at some point in the last forty years I began to question Tolstoy’s respect for his wife.”

Ursula Le Guin’s essay All Happy Families

Please read this entire essay and join me in thinking Tolstoy was a total dick

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jordyjinx

why is this actually one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen .

this 7 second video has no business being this funny

okay but why was he summoning pterodactyls?

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bitterjuries

stans really couldn’t wait for their number one white woman to finally speak out about politics just so they could praise her as a #woke queen - despite the fact that she stayed silent for years and refused to use her platform for anything involving equality because she knew most of her coins came from republicans.

Remember when she sued a journalist who asked her why she didn’t disassociate with her white supremacist fans who were calling her an aran queen? …She sued a black woman instead of saying “nazis, I’m not with you”

tea! i remember the aclu had to even step in to protect that journalist from being sued for “defamation”. just goes to show how quickly people forget for the sake of stanning.

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Before I knew it, all these spam accounts with naked ladies as their profile pictures are following me

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juliedillon

This is an illustration I did for the August 2014 issue of Popular Science Magazine. The assignment was to show a scifi take on human aging in the future. I wanted to do something relatively positive, so I drew a lady whose life has been been prolonged through cybernetic enhancements and augmentation, so she gets to spend time with her great-great-great-great grandchildren. 

Thanks to AD Michelle Mruk!

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crispy-ghee

this is beautiful

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avatar-dacia

So I keep wanting to reblog Cyborg Matriarch here, but I keep losing track of her.

She’s not getting away this time.

I really want a sci-fi story to go with this.

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reblogged
““Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.”
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Concept: It’s 6 years from now, you are vacationing with your other half in a stunning oceanview apartment that you found online, it’s night, the air is crisp and the sound of the crashing waves makes you think about your younger self who was so terrified about things not falling into place; you wish you could go back in time and show yourself how great things are going to be 

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