Wut

Why would you lie

I trusted you

where is the oscar for this video?

god when he almost forgot what he was gonna tell his mom 

Levels to this

@cormorantes

Omfg the relation to thu

Childish Gambino - Feels Like Summer

Phone scammers...

Ya boi just took some asshole for a ride. Some schmuck called me from a (spoofed) DC number with some cockamamie story about how he’s with the Federal Government and they’ve randomly selected me to receive a $7000 grant, oh and I’ll have to go pick it up at any of several chain grocery stores. Keeps using these “check-in” phrases that are meant to prompt you to say yes.

But see, joke’s on him: I’ve heard of this scam, and I don’t talk like most people. When I answer the phone and someone asks for me by name, I say “Speaking,” not “Yes.” So every single time this assclown tried to get me to say “Yes” I’d say something like “Understood” or “Go on.”

You see, the scam is, they trick you into saying “Yes,” and bonus if they can get you to repeat numbers (esp. 0-9) and/or “I agree.” What these low-lives do is record your voice and then use the sound bytes to make fraudulent charges in your name.

So fuck this guy right off the bat.

The more I dicked him around, the more frequently he started trying to goad me into saying the y-word. The funniest part came when he was going to “give me a confirmation number.”

Him: The confirmation is seven, one, three…

And he just STOPS. The “three” was pitched up to indicate there’d be more. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on.”

And this bitch goes, “Yes, the confirmation number is seven, one, three…”

And he STOPS AGAIN. I wait. He waits. I say, “Go on,” again.

And he STARTS! OVER! AGAIN! He did this TWO MORE TIMES before giving me the “full confirmation number” and a “number to call,” which together JUST HAPPEN to include all ten digits, 0 through 9.

This entire time I haven’t said a single word that could be construed as agreement. So he asks me to repeat the numbers back to him. I decide I’ve had enough at that point. I tell him to get a better job, hang up, and block the number.

Another “DC” number immediately calls me. I reject & block it.

And then I filed a report with the Federal Trade Commission. :3

BE WARY. Get yourself on the National Do Not Call Registry. If a number you don’t recognize calls you, DON’T REPLY “YES” OR ANY OTHER GENERIC AFFIRMATIVE TO ANYTHING THEY SAY OR ASK.

The original scam is a robocall that starts off with “Can you hear me?” The most correct response is to hang up and report it to the FTC. The second best is “I can hear you,” if you’re not sure or if you forget. But get into the habit of using responses other than “Yes” on the phone. These fuckers are everywhere.

It gets worse, OP. Your voice can be spliced to sound like you agreed to something. You may have given them enough to do that with. Like those Microsoft Windows people that call and want your ‘important numbers off your computer’ I talked to them for far too long and only found out after the fact that they could make fraudulent charges just by splicing some of your words together. They were after something different, but it amounts to the same thing in the end. Also there’s the common ‘press 1′ people as well. It’s best to just hang up. The Attorney General says to get an answering machine and they can’t really do anything about them because they’re constantly spoofing numbers. Neither can the phone company, and they Charge You Money for reporting them!

Oof. Reblogging for additional warnings. I’ve already made my report to the FTC, so I’ll just be keeping a close eye on my finances for a while. (Like I’m not already given my situation.)

The list means shit to them now apparently because I’m on the national do not call list and still get rung up by shit like this. If it’s a number I don’t know, I just don’t answer

Ok so look. If you are called by one of these numbers and you know it’s a scam? Just make noises at them. Groan like the grudge, bark, meow, screech like a pterodactyl. Anything stupid like that. 9/10 they will hang up and never call back. :) If they do they are just really stupid.

Legend has it that he was bitten by a radioactive pair of Timbs

Well I’ll be

I hate yall so much

Lmaooooooooooo

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

Couldn’t risk it.

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT

Real talk, Bulbasaur would be the best pet ever if it was real, let me list you some reasons of why:

baby boy.. baby.,

Source: instagram.com/ironic.mp4/

Music source: Aaron Smith - Dancin (KRONO Remix)

Dear young black kids

Don’t let your white friends get you in trouble.

You better say that.

i want to elaborate on this.

don’t buy from white dealers and don’t sell to white people.

don’t underage drink with white people.

don’t do anything that could be viewed as illegal by cops with white people and this isn’t me trying to be anti-white this is me telling you to protect yourself from anti-black cops. they won’t hesitate to pin the entire crime on you even if your white friend did 90% of the crime.

most (if not all) white people don’t understand the same crimes they commit (getting into a bar with a fake ID, stealing cigars, playing with toy guns in walmart) we are given a lengthy imprisonment or executed on the spot for.

so don’t put yourself in a situation that could get you killed and a white person a slap on the wrist.

Sorry if this isn’t the right place but I felt like its important to add, this is the most real shit I have seen on my dash in a while. After I got my license I drove everywhere, constantly picked up my friends and really just drove like a maniac making dumb decisions left and right. Now one of my best friends is a WoC and I helped her get her license and I always told her ‘9mph over the speed limit and the ticket gets thrown out in court’ because that is what I’d been taught. One day she was driving and I mentioned that to her and she kept insisting that it was 5mph. It took me YEARS to realize PoC can’t afford that extra 4mph!!!!!!!!! White teenagers are the dumbest group on the planet, please don’t let them talk you into their dumb shit!

Conversely: White people, don’t get your black friends into trouble. What is just dicking around to you is a potential death sentence to them. If you are any kind of friend, you won’t put them in that kinds of harm’s way.

Important addition

an underrated spongebob moment

A hummingbird thought a man’s orange hat was a flower [x]

Iv never seen a hummingbird sit before lol

i wasn’t going to reblog until he sat 

HE SITS

Plomp

Dafuck is wrong with this here flower…

she is BETRAYED

@sudokuphobe !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOTHER NATURE!!!! what fuckery is this....

jimmy neutron promotional interruption during spongebob squarepants (2001)

Same energy

holy shit

I.C.O.N.I.C

Y'all mind if I

You forgot the next year where Lisa was dating two women

Lisa is canonically bisexual!

And polyamorous, apparently

me when the aliens finally abduct me and put me in one of their zoos