henlo

happy what do tuesday's tuesday

Joe Biden Lookin Fresh

"what's the matter, smooth-skin? didn't think a ghoul could become president, did ya?"

this would pull me too because i’ve been really into hot salsas lately and i need to talk to someone about it

>the goblin leaps to attack!

>the goblin misses!

>the goblin has scraped his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

>oh, his little knee!

My favorite gay erotica artist, Jiraiya drew that guy you all like

He's now that guy I like, too

Sydney University veterinary students release 2017 nude calendar to support rehoming greyhounds

Buy yours here! 

i have questions

i don’t

i feel like this when m i’m walking on a road with no sidewalk

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

finch fancam❤

i mean . no shit?

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

Did you intentionally make him Cajun before that screencap or was that baked into the prompt already. I ask only because the eyes as green as the bayou got me good

he's naturally australian so i gave him an upgrade

saw a tiktok of a mother taking her very tiny daughter to an art museum and she’s just walking around going “whoooa” “woooaah” to everything but then they got to a marble statue of a nude woman lying on her back and the girl points and goes “mommy🫵” and i just immediately welled up with tears and all the comments are just laughing about it and of course it’s funny but how are you not insanely moved by the way art connects everyone on earth from a centuries-old sculptor to a toddler in 2023

Mother and baby viewing Van Gogh's Madame Roulin and Her Baby at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, US. By the Boston Herald

I’m not sure how to look at art by Lynda Barry

staying with my father and my teenage brother occasionally has been very enlightening actually i need to think about it positively

hmmm ok. fascinating. okay. amazing. and i have to live like this? okay

Signs that one of your parents is pansexual

S 99 W Hwy, Montgomery, Alabama.

it’s talking heads kermit friday

there's a kind of person called a "bad person" and if we just kill all of those guys everything will be great