hermeeeessssss

The Empress and Seven of Cups

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety.

HAMMOND B3 ORGAN CISTERN by GABRIELLE CALVOCORESSI

*ska music fading happily into the distance*

whole brass section in the tags

Alright, time to bust out this outfit for the summer.

Zeus x Hera concept sketches

Somewhere out there a mortal is about to have the worst day of their life.

I keep seeing the "chat is a fourth person pronoun" post and it's getting increasingly hard to avoid starting discourse in the notes of it. chat I don't think they know what these linguistics terms they're using mean

it's literally just a noun. the reason it grammatically doesn't feel like it means the same thing as any existing pronoun and must be in a different category is that it's not a pronoun. it's in the same class of word as "gang" or "folks" or "ladies and gentlemen". there's nothing new going on here it's just an ordinary noun being used like a noun.

FAQ

Q: language is fluid, so if enough people use "chat" as a pronoun wouldn't that mean it is a pronoun?

A: yes, but people don't use it as a pronoun so it isn't one.

Q: are you trying to police how people use words?

A: no, I'm describing the ways words are used. if people were actually using "chat" as a pronoun I wouldn't have a problem with someone describing it as a pronoun, because it would be a pronoun.

Q: well maybe I do use "chat" as a pronoun. maybe my pronouns are chat/chats. are you saying I can't do that?

A: no, obviously you can do whatever you want. however, if you did hypothetically use "chat" as a neopronoun, it would be third person, and this isn't even remotely similar to the use case being described as a "fourth person pronoun" by the post I'm talking about.

Q: is "we" a fourth person pronoun?

A: no, it's first person plural.

Q: is "chat" a second person pronoun?

A: no, it's a noun.

Q: is "chat" a vocative?

A: that's a case, not a part of speech. any noun can be "a vocative" in the same way any noun can be an object.

Q: does "chat" mean "y'all"?

A: so close! "y'all" is a pronoun which, being a pronoun, can take the place of a noun in a certain context. "y'all" is second person plural, so if the context "chat" is being used in is that you're talking to a group of people (real or hypothetical) that you're calling "chat", it can be replaced with "y'all". however, this doesn't mean that "chat" and "y'all" are synonyms, that's just a pronoun doing what pronouns do.

Q: everyone who's calling it a fourth person pronoun is joking, so you shouldn't take this so seriously

A: if they're joking in a way that's literally indistinguishable from spreading Real linguistic misinformation the result is the same either way.

official linguistics post

I was about to be irritated at a shitty "kids' education" website on 1770s clothing but then I learned that there's a staymaker buried at King's Chapel and now I'm just delighted to know the gravesite of a clothing worker from that era and I want to take him flowers

I WAS TODAY FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN I LEARNED THAT THOMAS PAINE WAS A MASTER STAYMAKER?!?!

THE COMMON SENSE GUY. BASICALLY MADE BRAS. FOR LIKE 8 YEARS OF HIS LIFE COUNTING THE APPRENTICESHIP

imagine if you're like. a random lady in England. and you found out that the guy you bought a support garment from one time is now publishing seditious pamphlets in the colonies

things he supported: -sedition -titties

Unknown, Arabic Script in shape of lion: "In the name of the lion of God, the face of God, the victorious Ali." from Turkey 19th C

When I was little my mom’s meatloaf was my favorite food. But ONLY her meatloaf. I didn’t like anyone else’s, and she told me that she would teach me how to make it when I was older. And when I was like 19? She finally taught me, but she told me never to tell anyone else and I was like weird but okay

Anyway, she was super fucking homophobic and abusive to me when I told her I was gay, so here’s the recipe

You can get almost all of these ingredients at the dollar store, and have leftovers if it’s just you. The leftovers make great tacos if (taco seasoning is also like a dollar). Enjoy your revenge loaf

here's a mashed potato recipe from my homophobic mother that i swore to never share that would pair perfectly!

(6 servings)

-2lbs red potatoes

-1 cup butter (2 sticks)

-1 cup cream cheese (1 pack)

-Chives (optional)

-Salt & Pepper to taste

1. drop those bad boys (potatoes) in a big ol pot. U don't even have to chop them just wash them

2. boil til soft!

3. Drain

4. Mash (usually they're small enough you can use a fork if u don't have one of those squashers) until its a pretty chunky mix

5. add the other stuff. Keep mashing

I like my mashed potato consistancy more lumpy but its all up to you!! Peel the potatoes or keep them on, it literally makes the creamiest fluffiest mashed potatoes which she always served with the nastiest fuckin meatloaf

Now if anybody got some revenge rolls and revenge green bean casserole we'll get a full meal

Got room for desert? Cus my Grandma was just a generaly evil old hag who was abusive to my mum and my siblings also you guessed it since I came out I was not said hello to at christmas

She made pretty god Dampfnudeln (its like a sweet bread rool you eat hot and with vanilla sauce)

1. Put 300 gram flour into a bowl and make an indent in the middle

2.combine

mix until smooth

3.mix into part of the flour but leave a big flour rim on the outside

4.set 30 gram of Butter on the flour rim and cover everything with a towel

let sit till you see bubbles in the dough

5. add

and knead the dough until smooth

6. put

into a heat resistant glass bowl and let melt (the glass bowl is quite important)

7. Form about 12 dough rolls and put them into the milk

8. Cover with a lid (any lid will go it does not need to be sealed air tight)

Let bake in the pre heated oven at 200°C for about 30 minutes or until they start to get brown and fluffy

9. Serve with vanilla sauce or fresh fruit

Behold the Fuck You buffet

So, I never came out to my evil grandmother, for two reasons. One, my dad asked me please not to because he didn’t want to deal with her shit, and two, see “evil”. Not fucking worth it. I was glad she died before I got married.

These were her mama’s biscuits, and her mama was a mean old woman, too. I’ll spite ‘em both and post it for y’all.

Angel Biscuits 2 pkg. yeast 1 T. warm water 2 T. sugar

5 C. sifted flour 3 t. baking powder rounded 1 1/2 t. salt 1/2 t. baking soda rounded 1 C. shortening or oleo 2 C. buttermilk Dissolve yeast in water and sugar. Sift flour, baking powder, salt and soda into a large bowl. Cut in shortening. Add buttermilk and yeast mixture. Mix well. Turn dough out onto a floured board and knead 2 or 3 times. Roll dough out 1/2 inch thick. Cut biscuits. Let set 45 minutes to 1 hour to rise. Bake at 400F. for 12-15 minutes. Note: Dough may be stored in a plastic bag in the refrigerator until needed.

This is excellent.

this post is a true gift

Since someone mentioned a revenge green bean casserole, here you go. I follow my evil grandmother's recipe this way, and it turns out rather well for me, every harvest time holiday, but one can always replace the canned beans with frozen or fresh. 'Cause gods know fresh always tastes better, when you can afford it. 1 can green beans, long cut 1 can mushroom soup 2 tablespoons dried minced onions 1 tablespoon dried minced garlic 1 container of French's fried onions (canned goods aisle, usually, if you've never seen these) Preheat to 325. Mix the beans, the soup, the minced onions, and the minced garlic. Pour into your baking dish. Bake this thing for about 30 minutes (longer if you needed a giant batch or if it hasn't turned a bit golden across the top; I am the most haphazard of cooks), and then add the French's fried onions across the top. Put the mess back in the oven for 10-15 minutes, until the fried onions look crispy. Not burned, just crispy. Hopefully you'll enjoy it as much as I always do.

(reblogging so I’ll remember to put all these into Paprika) (especially the mashed-potato one)

I deserve more credit for not picking stupid fights on the internet than a nice person who doesn't pick fights does, because I have an unpleasant personality and it's harder for me

ok sports fans, here's the deal. we are gonna have a little lesson in making

UNCROSSING BATHS

because in the past week I have dumped a pitcher of water onto a power strip, driven the car into the garage with the TRUNK OPEN which got it lodged on the garage door and scratched it up, dropped my phone in a bowl full of water (and spinach), broken my glasses, overwatered the plants so they leaked all over some boxes of books, and generally been uncharacteristically fucking things up.

which means: UNCROSSING TIME!

we are gonna use

RUE

HYSSOP

FIVE FINGER GRASS

BAY LEAF

and SALT

throw in a handful of each. greet the herbs by name, tell them what you are asking them to help you with, thank them. then scrunch em up with your fingers a bit til they're mixed.

add water (from a spring is nice, we're on a well so I use that, municipal water is fine) and then simmer, covered, to keep the oils in.

cook it for at least 20 min, longer is fine, and then let it cool completely. I prepared mine late in the evening so it'll cool overnight and we'll take the next steps tomorrow.

once you are cool 😎 it's time to strain.

I live in the kind of transsexual commune that makes its own soymilk so we have a nice pitcher with a strainer that fits it nicely, but get the plant bits out however works best for you. you should be left with a reasonably large quantity of weird, salty, room-temperature tea.

the plant bits can go in the compost or you can pitch em outside someplace. the salt is minimal but don't put the dregs directly IN a plant.

you can jar up the bath tea or just set your strainer container aside til you're ready to use it. if you're not using it right away or you're using it over multiple nights, put it in the fridge, and prepare for a more exhilarating experience when you dump it over your head at fridge temp. avoid glass containers if possible.

to use the bath, there are different amounts of ritual you can use. you can, if you wish, flank your shower/tub entrance with two white candles and light them, creating a doorway of sorts to step through into the shower or bath. up to you.

do NOT catch your shower curtain or bathmat on fire.

I used very wee candles because it was already late and I wanted them to burn all the way out. I relocated them to a safe place after bathing.

some folks advise catching excess tea in a bowl as it runs off you. that's fine and worth doing if you have a non-breakable large bowl or pot.

shower as normal, with normal soap. once finished, turn off the water but stay in the tub/stall. if you're using a bowl to catch excess, position it by or between your feet. then reach for your bath tea - this is why you want to avoid keeping it in a glass jar, just because if you're already dealing with a crossed condition, the likelihood that your wet hands will drop and shatter it is elevated.

in one continuous flow or bit by bit, pour all of the bath tea over your head, shoulders, back, front, each leg - make sure it gets everywhere. use your non-pouring hand to spread the water along the backs of your legs and such. (mind your herbs that nothing will irritate your skin.) sadly you must soak your hair with it. (I recognize this is non-trivial for my textured hair squad.) most sadly, you must not dry off with a towel when you are done.

ALWAYS AIR DRY AFTER AN HERBAL BATH.

this makes winter baths a greater challenge of fortitude but I believe in you.

you can use your hand to brush the water off. you can comb out your hair. but let it air dry.

once you will no longer leave a huge puddle on your floor, step out through your doorway of candles, and move on with your life. if you caught the excess in a bowl, take it outside and toss the tea away, throwing out the crossed condition it's washed off your body.

in this case, I forgot all about the bowl until I was already in the shower, so I used the same pitcher I had poured the bath tea out of and used it to catch excess as I wrung out my hair etc. and then I tossed the caught liquid outside as normal, there was just less of it.

if you have an ancestor or animist practice (and what kind of rootworker would you be if you did not?), it is appropriate to thank your ancestors and/or the plant spirits for their support.

it is also appropriate to follow an uncrossing with a ritual requesting positive influences in your life, to fill the vacuum of the negative ones you've just removed.

that's how it's done! holler if you got questions. go forth less fucked, comrades. 🙏🏽

This was an interesting read. Surprisingly nonpreachy given the subject; and well worth the time.

This is oaywalled but it made me weep with relief to see an honest recounting for once, so I’ve saved some good bits:

these are my thotz as someone who has been directly exposed to 2022 and 1966 batman within less than a month: there's a sweet spot between silly/gloomy ways to write bruce wayne, there's unpleasant extremes, and then there's the real extremes that are such weird little freaks that they make perfect sense

Startlingly accurate

these are my thotz as someone who has been directly exposed to 2022 and 1966 batman within less than a month: there's a sweet spot between silly/gloomy ways to write bruce wayne, there's unpleasant extremes, and then there's the real extremes that are such weird little freaks that they make perfect sense

Startlingly accurate

demeter protecting persephone sketch