Antonia Bifulco & Patricia Moran, Wednesday’s Child: Research into Women’s Experience of Abuse and Neglect in Childhood, and Adult Depression

brunomars: Now here’s a picture of my keyboard player @johnjohnthe1 and I 10 minutes before we go on stage 😂

all i want is to be well-read, well-spoken, and well-loved.

i want a huge ass kitchen w a ISLAND bitch

When you see a nice market

Hey all! People have been asking about prints so I finally decided to set up an INPRNT shop, which you can find here!

More prints will be available soon!

dating people with bpd

written by a girl who loves a girl who has bpd

disclaimer: i do not have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and this was written from my experience dating a beautiful girl who has bpd and she proof read it!! i just want to help others whose partners have bpd! this may not apply to everyone because everyone is different but these are things that i have experienced in my relationship!

1. TALK ABOUT BOUNDARIES this is important for every relationship whether the person you are dating has bpd or not, but it’s crucial for when you’re dating a person with bpd. this is important because certain things that you may not even think about can make them sad or even a bit angry. it’s important to talk about what triggers them and be super understanding when their triggers seem a bit uncommon, and let them explain their boundaries and symptoms they experience. it’s important to be patient and listen to them.

2. TELL THEM WHAT’S REAL some people with bpd have a blurred sense of reality and need to be told what’s real and what isn’t. even if it’s just the color of their jeans, it is still important.

3. REASSURE THEM some individuals with bpd have an intense fear of being abandoned, which usually comes from early childhood abuse, and need constant validation to reassure them that you aren’t going to leave them. be patient when they ask if you wanna breakup with them, or if they ask if you’re mad at them, or when they say their sorry for even the slightest of mishaps.

4. DON’T BE SCARED personality disorders have tons of bad stigma surrounding them and individuals with these mental illnesses are demonized and made out to be like monsters in the media. it is important to ignore all the articles and posts about bpd that demonize them written by neurotypicals. people with bpd aren’t inherently bad.

5. IMPULSES impulses are things you want to do. some impulses can be self destructive while others are not. most people with bpd don’t have impulse control like those who don’t have bpd do. a thing that works for me when their impulses are self destructive is (assuming that you’re their fp) asking them how they would feel if i did that, or asking them to do virtually anything to take their mind off it. and if that doesn’t work, it’s important not to get mad at them if they do it. they don’t know when an idea is bad or good, so just be patient and understanding and don’t be a fuckass.

6. EDUCATE YOURSELF educate yourself on the disorder and read about the symptoms. the best person to talk to about bpd is your partner. because everyone is different, it’s important not to limit bpd down to certain symptoms. figure out what your partner experiences and read about those. i suggest following the bpd tag on tumblr or even browse it a bit to get a general understanding of the disorder. bpd is very complex so it’s important that you get a general understanding and realize that it’s not relatable to you. certain posts may be relatable but do not think that you can reblog them, because the extent in which they are felt is extremely different. most people with bpd have very intense emotions and feel things that we feel to a much higher level.

to conclude, dating someone with bpd isn’t hard or scary. however, it is different from dating someone who doesn’t have it. it’ll be hard if you don’t research it or ask them questions or get a general understanding of it, but if you do it’ll be easier for the both of you. people with bpd inherently abusive, and it is possible to have a stable relationship with your partner.

“Oppressors always expect the oppressed to extend to them the understanding so lacking in themselves.”

- Audre Lorde

Things they don’t tell you about top surgery

- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)

- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks

- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head. 

- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself

- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are

- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time

- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly. 

- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.

- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it. 

- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy. 

i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better. 

To the few guys I know having surgery this week!

-the headache you get a couple days after the surgery because the anesthesia is leaving your body hurts 200 times more than the surgery itself. And even that isn’t too bad.

-after a week or, you ITCH. It’s awful. Try not to touch your stitches too much. An ice pack will help.

the holy trinity of music

toto’s africa, a-ha’s take on me, and the proclaimer’s i’m gonna be (500 miles)

i’ve gotten a lot of people saying that i’m wrong and should have included other songs (all of which are also bangers and include never gonna give you up, come on eileen, and bony m’s rasputin) but not a single person has mentioned the fucking beatles so honestly? this post has been a resounding success and i thank you all for your participation