Things I like:

-looking hot 

-buying stuff they cannot 

-drinking hard

-maxing dad’s credit card 

-skipping gym 

-scaring her 

-screwing him 

-killer clothes 

-kICKING NERDS IN THE noSE

merry crisis everyone

you can only reblog this in the six (6) days between the two (2) occasions

by Deni Pesto

“One of the servers just died.” Industry really changes severity. IT - bad. Restaurant - Really bad.

there is absolutely nothing i love more than those russian gun memes

january 1st 2018 is a monday. a fresh week, a fresh month and a fresh year. if u want to start over i don’t think u can possibly find a better time to

cashiers don’t actually care what you buy you could buy a fork a toaster and a bath plug and i wouldnt notice all i’m thinking abt is “in five min it will be one hour until two hours before i can go home”

Ok usually, but the one exception to this is the guy who bought 5 boxes of Mac and cheese and three boxes of condoms. This was only noteworthy because I work in a bookstore and I had no clue we sold condoms.

i want to know how it’s normal for a bookstore to sell mac and cheese but not condoms

google just made me so emo

oh my god I can’t stop crying

From a strictly marketing standpoint. This is the best ad of all time. Like…well fucking done Google.

I’m not crying you’re crying

im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, I’m chill

will sell my soul for astro to come to europe

is it these ones ?? :0

YES YOU ANGEL OHMYGOD

Day 616

yes

list of dumbass tumblr users under th cut:

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