Cowboy Activities

this is what GOOD PUSSY sounds like *sound of gun cocking

[me on a first date] –so with this context, do you really think throwing a wedding via twitter hashtag is """cringe""" ? Or is it genuinely touching expression of love? Where are you going

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

curious:

Making friends as an adult is so unnecessarily complicated omfg can we just survive a plane crash together or something. Can we move this along

kind of jealous of swifties. wish i could be satisfied with so little

The dinosaurs are fucking coming back

my astigmatism lets me see beautiful angels before i drive into oncoming traffic

soooo much of the modern conception of gender is based around products and consumerism that people can’t even identify actual misogyny anymore. People reply to posts “It’s sexist to hate on something so many women enjoy” and that something would be a Stanley cup

Some tweets hit too close to home

MY ROMAN EMPIRE.

If you’re bisexual you’re probably bisexual

Everyone reblog with your most unemployable traits

If i dont [experience pathologically concerning sex act] within the next [arbitrary time period] im going to [federal agency watchphrase]