a fab dumbfck.

my friend took in a stray and she’s the cutest kitty ever but he named her oil so whenever he sends a picture of her me and my other friends look like we’re roleplaying as the US military

in our defense this is oil

So what makes a butcher knife more butch than other knives?

The knife itself isn't necessarily butch. It's named that because it's wielded by a butcher, who is more butch than the other food shop owners

Hmm, I see.

What, then, makes the butcher more butch than other food shop owners?

the knife

That's what ancient Greek philosophy is like

Good motherfucking god

i don’t think we can gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way out of this one boys

Why are people on this website always coming in with the most accurate takes on these penguins it’s killing me

IYKYK

Can I please see your balls I'm going through a lot right now

The king asking his jester to juggle for him after a long day

intercourse with a vampire or whatever

It is endlessly incredible to me the degree to which this man always has to go and add something extra. To anyone else --- anyone else on earth --- making a giant teddy bear sculpture out of chocolate is already a hugely ambitious task. Making it with as realistic as he does even more so.

And then. And THEN!

This madman decides that the teddy bear should also have a zipper with stuffing spilling out. The audacity. It's so extra. I love it.

The first rule of writing is hoard notebooks

The second rule of writing is we do not write in our notebook hoard

listen i know each actor brings their own spice to a role, but i just can’t take timothee chalamet’s wonka seriously 

where is the madness behind his eyes??? the malice??? the complete disregard for the laws of mankind and decency???

this man makes me fear that i’ll be shoved into a taffy machine at the slightest provocation 

as! he! should!

I’m not gonna let this gem of a tag on this post go unnoticed.

Send me to Mars with party supplies before next august 5th

No guys you don’t understand.

The soil testing equipment on Curiosity makes a buzzing noise and the pitch of the noise changes depending on what part of an experiment Curiosity is performing, this is the way Curiosity sings to itself.

So some of the finest minds currently alive decided to take incredibly expensive important scientific equipment and mess with it until they worked out how to move in just the right way to sing Happy Birthday, then someone made a cake on Curiosity’s birthday and took it into Mission control so that a room full of brilliant scientists and engineers could throw a birthday party for a non-autonomous robot 225 million kilometres away and listen to it sing the first ever song sung on Mars*, which was Happy Birthday.

This isn’t a sad story, this a happy story about the ridiculousness of humans and the way we love things. We built a little robot and called it Curiosity and flung it into the star to go and explore places we can’t get to because it’s name is in our nature and then just because we could, we taught it how to sing.

That’s not sad, that’s awesome.

*this is different from the first song ever played on mars (Reach For The Stars by Will.I.Am) which happened the year before, singing is different from playing

This is humanity

Happy Birthday, Curiousity.

Happy birthday, Curiosity.

Source

comfy bed. take me home. to the place. where i belong. pillow blanky. sleeping soundly. take me home. comfy bed

Actually forget every other post about “primal” feelings and actions, the most connected to my early hominid ancestors i have ever felt in my LIFE is when slowly following an increasingly panicked sheep. I believe that slowly following ungulates is the most primally human activity in existence

That moment when the sheep has run a few times and visibly realizes that you just keep slowly walking at it and are not going anywhere and you can see it thinking “oh fuck this isn’t how being chased is supposed to work” rockets me back in time several hundred thousand years

Hey quick question OP why are you bullying a sheep

To give it medication