Random Awesomeness

Sucks that "sleeping together" refers to sex. Sometimes a fella just wants to snooze with a pal.

official asexual post

tiny damian has a LOT to live up to

“i don’t like men with earrings” ok well not everything in the world is done for YOU. to cater to YOU. have you ever thought about that. Now move the fuck over

this post will find who it’s meant to find without any of that. Know this

Saw this baby on Facebook & they deserve to be shared

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

i have terrible news about the economy

they raised the price of monster bang :(

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

she commit acts of intercourse on my erogeneous zones until i achieve sexual climax

No she doesnt. You made this up for notes.

despite being older, dick and jason are 1000% the immature ones when it comes to bantering with villains.

like while they're all out fighting crime, Barbara's monitoring their progress, and on one side it's these young, high-pitched voices spouting sophisticated shit like, "while I do admire your unwavering consistency, it does beg the question: do you truly derive any semblance of pleasure from incessantly facing defeat at my hand?"

and then on the other hand, you just hear these two grown-ass men who are like, "FUCK YOU, BITCH, I HOPE YOU GET RUN OVER BY A TRUCK AND THEN RUN OVER BY ANOTHER TRUCK, SUCK MY DICK YOU DUMBASS PRICK, ALSO GUESS WHAT ME AND YOUR MOTHER DID LAST NIGHT ?I?"

(they say if you're very quiet, you'll hear a sigh of disappointment from the shadows while this is happening)

duke should start pretending to have powers he sure doesn't have. for example: you know in men in black where they have that light thing that they flash to make people forget? yeah duke pretends he can do that

Bruce, who hasn't slept for 3 days straight and is on his last legs:

Duke, coming in from patrol: *flash* "you won't remember this"

Bruce: wow he's right I sure don't remember whatever that was

Jason, who is raiding the fridge and sees this: I'm never going to tell anyone because that is funny as hell

the power gets added to Duke's official file and when Izzy points it out later she and Duke bust a blood vessel laughing about it

tim: honestly, ra’s isn’t that bad of a guy

dick: tim, is this some weird form of stockholm syndrome we need to talk about?

tim: what? no, his whole thing for killing people is basically ‘save the trees’ the guys a hippie - he cries when an animal dies and he met his wife at woodstock

dick: and your point is?

tim: i’m just saying, he’s a silly lil dude

dick: tim, he’s killed thousands

tim: hypothetically i have as well, but i don’t think explosions count if you give them a 5 minute warning

dick: what?!

tim: again, hypothetically

ok but the way he's still kind of getting outcunted by the guy on the left

DUDE. I have had so many people sit here and tell me that THIS

THIS IS TIMS WORST COSTUME?? WHAT ARE YOU ON TO SIT HERE AND TELL ME THIS IS TIMS WORST COSTUME??? HE EATS UP IN THIS.

Being Bruce Wayne’s kid is such a trip bc what do you mean “Bruce Wayne isn’t real”, what do you mean Bruce— oh I’m sorry, Batman. Like imagine having to listen to your dad say that he isn’t real and the only real person is the version of him that indulges in his furry cosplay.

No like actually imagine it.

Your dad, the man who raised you after you lost your original parents, just looks at you and straight faced in a calm voice says: “Bruce Wayne isn’t real, only I — Batman — am.”

If you’re still not getting it imagine it in a reddit post format.

My (M27) father (M4X) is trying to make everybody believe that he isn’t real and that he’s actually his furry OC.

That shit would be wild.

whenenver i save a bug in trouble its kind of like im their mr beast