I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

A friend asked my for my phone password once and I just couldn’t remember it. My phone password! The six digit number that I have been entering multiple times a day for several years!! I didn’t realise how important muscle memory was and had to unlock it for her.

First Order Trio Photoshoots are like:

Kylo: *lightsaber pose*

Phasma: *holding a huge blaster pose*

Hux: *fixing or putting on his gloves for some reason*

It’s that or hands behind back like a moron…

Kylo: I’m a Fallen Jedi Knight

Phasma: I’m a fierce chrome armored warrior

Hux: I’m just chilling

Kylo: *it’s ok, they can’t see your face through helmet. Or even better, scare them off with intimidation. No one dares to speak up against big scary guy with a lightsaber, yeah!* kickstarts his lightsaber

Phasma: *better keep my riffle in lock-off mode in case this hulking idiot tries to do something funny* side-eyes Kylo while still facing forward

Hux: *if I have to spend ONE MORE minute with this riddiculously childish menace breathing on my neck, i’m going to punch something* subconscously adjusts his gloves

“Childish” acting like Armitage Hux didn’t invent bringing being bullied in middle school into his adult life & personality

they should settle their differences through dance battles

Classic

For @coffee-without-a-pause and @cymeteria because, I quote :  “Kylo and Hux it’s like Lilo and Stitch… but different”

My incredibly. Abhorrently. Awfully late gift to the wonderful @justdreamingzzz ! I'm so sorry it took so long, ended up needing some pinch hitters after the deadline and thought it would be too late to ask the many awesome pinch hitters that volunteered.

I do hope you can forgive me! I tried fulfilling your Roleswap prompt as best as I could! I always pictured that Snoke would use Hux as more of an assassin than a tank. Which definitely influenced me to see them as playing similar roles that Ventress and Grievous played for Count Dooku. So when I remembered this scene I just had to draw them in it!

i am inflicting my ability to use photoshop against the fandom again

sharpe + the onion articles part 1 [part 2]

+ bonus alternative:

Sean Bean as Richard Sharpe Sharpe series (1993-1997)

Hey, if you don’t have something nice to say about other people’s creations (gifsets, art, fic etc)

then

don’t say anything at all.

You’re telling me you think you have a right to give unsolicited criticism on fandom content that someone made for free? No. You don’t. There is a huge difference between giving someone constructive criticism when they invite it, and rolling into their comments and replies to tell a creator you don’t like their work.

The former is a cooperative collaboration. The latter? It’s useless. It’s not something the creator asked for, it’s not what fandom content is about.

The unsolicited negative opinion of some Internet stranger, even if it’s given with the aim to be helpful (which it rarely is, to be honest) often does more harm than good.

Fandom content is first and foremost made for the creator. They write the fic they want to read or post the gifsets they want to see.

They post because they want to share that joy within a community, and if they want constructive criticism they will ask for it and invite trusted individuals they know to offer it.

Also not every creative endeavour is practice “for the real thing”. Not everyone wants to improve. Sometimes they just want to make a thing and be satisfied with it.

also, this sort of argument always conflates the right to do something in terms of, like, legality with the right to not be considered a jerk for doing the thing

you CAN hop onto people’s art and fic posts to tell them how much you dislike the thing they made. nobody’s gonna arrest you or kick you out of fandom. what they will probably do is decide that you’re a rude, entitled asshole

it’s not illegal to be an asshole, but it’s not really something to aspire to, either

✨it’s not illegal to be an asshole, but it’s not really something to aspire to, either✨

Sixty years ago today, Paul McCartney got bopped on the head

nobody move.... paul drawing of the four of them in august 1969

— John Lennon

could we talk about the dog that brought Paul its toy

and when Paul didn’t throw it the dog got sad

Bro just wants to play. Throw the toy Paul, stop being mean 😠😠

The modern adventures of Ben Kylo (feat. Hux and Phasma)

Kylo finally moves out of his parents’ house to live with his two new roommates. Unfortunately, he has bad habits they don’t appreciate.

The rest of the series is here

what is your main blog?

bold of you to assume this shrine for a silly little insane man is a side hustle

But tbf, I might put it back to a Hux-centric blog