I am about to have a crisis and I thought why not write it before and calm my self down
I don't want to have friends anymore...
Everyone's getting married or having babies, and it looks just so easy. As if being adult and having such responsibilities was so easy.
And here I am, just bought CDs, investing in my happines and not knowing how a credit works.
I am in a good company, I get paid enough and not enough because I don't think I could afford a house and car, but there's people who can afford it even having 3 kids and less salary than me.
The more I think about it, the more I feel socially pressed, because I am not growing up like everyone else does.
I don't have partner and it freaks me out ti search for one, because I feel like I would be loosing time and I have no idea how to keep a relationship just because I've never had one.
And then there's that little voice in the back of my head screaming like crazy "Baby you don't need no one, you're young, beautiful and successful"
And it's true, I love myself and it has hurted more than it should to finally say it and accept it. But I truly do, I love myself and I enjoy my self space and being single. I love giving love to my family because I can and have no other responsibilities.
And at the same time I feel like I should be looking for someone, for a partner, because eventually I will loose my family, naturally, with time.
And it all starts again, I don't feel ready, neither emotionally nor physically. And even though I am aware it's okay to feel that way it stress me out to think I am loosing time and staying behind while everyone else is going forward.
Babies and weddings flooded my social media and I just want to run and hide and just stay in my world where I don't need to have someone to feel like I will not be judged outside.
This might be a very stupid post, that noone asked for, but I think someone will read this and if you do.
Baby you need no one. You can do it yourself.
You're enough
You're loved
And you're doing your best
