its funny when you dont scroll all the way down and all you see is this

On September 9, 2002, Missy Elliott released this classic

Coldflash Fairytale AU

Self Prompt #2

In this world, magic exists, but unfortunately for criminals, so does a magical justice system.

Len is a mage, a Cryomancer, using his ice alongside Mick’s fire to take whatever he wanted. Or he was before Johnny Law finally caught up with him and bestowed a swift sentence. Not time, but: altruism.

You see, in this world, cons aren’t locked up, it’s not really believed in here. Rather, the system is less a ‘clink’ and more a 'think tank’ where the focus is more on rehabilitation. So instead the guilty are given a task to perform, a job to do, that will often mirror the crimes they’ve committed. It’s meant to act as a dissuasion, to force a con to see life on the side they’re hurting and make them actively fix their own damage. Kinda like Community Service.

Mick was a Pyromancer, a chaotic hothead who didn’t care what he burned. So now he’s putting out forest fires with the Water Nymphs.

Len was a thief, a crook, a burglar - breaking into buildings and taking things for his own personal gain. So they took away his ice and gave him the Fairy Godmother’s job.

He could still hear Mick laughing about it as they dragged him out of the courtroom.

And to make matters even worse, his first client was some weepy princeling called Bartholomew…who Len is 99% sure he robbed last week.

Coming soon…

Other AU Prompts:

Genie AU

when you feel lonely and sad remember the stars love and support you

Yall deserve an angel on your timeline

Lmao

(via 🔥 Young condor 🔥)

He eat

what sort of fucking demon is that

Just a little boy.

Me

I just found out that my gecko’s tail works on my phone's touch screen, so I'm gonna let her make a text post and let autocorrect interpret her words.

Funks go e y y man kill zucchini angst

the gecko has spoken

#KAREN STOP ALREADY

ive been doing it wrong all these years

WTF

this is the single most accurate video about australia ever made from the grey hobo hair to the woolworths fabric bag

what the fuck

giant puppy

— Jasmine Warga, My Heart and Other Black Holes

Published erotica: terribly written, costs money

Fanfiction on ao3: Free, isn’t affaid TO JUST USE THE WORD ‘COCK’ FFS

“His genitals, his privates, his hot length, his trobing rod, his magic meat stick-”

Me, in tears: Just say cock

published erotica: the parts that aren’t purple prose about vanilla sex are occupied by dithering and made up problems

fanfiction on ao3: the parts that aren’t sharp, clear prose about scorching kinky sex are occupied by tightly plotted suspense and slam-bang action

published erotica: not interested in the 99% of the market that’s heterosexual? that’s fine, we also have tender white middle class lesbians and slutty white middle class gay men!

fanfiction on ao3: one trans partner? both partners trans? genderswaps? how about a loving long-term threesome that does heist capers? we’ve got non-gendered angels, hermaphroditic aliens – some of whom lay eggs, if you’re into that – oh, and have i mentioned the robots –

published erotica: there, i put in a vampire, i’m such a genre rebel

fanfiction on ao3: i sent the avengers to hogwarts with the winchester brothers, i fear nothing on earth or heaven and only one thing in hell which is that my laptop will overheat in the fires of abaddon so i’ll have to write the sequel longhand

\o/

published erotica: HOLY SHIT WTF I DID NOT EXPECT THAT KINK NOW I FEEL GROSSED OUT THAT I PAID MONEY FOR THIS

fanfiction on AO3: clearly tagged with all the warnings and kink lists so you know what you are getting yourself into

Dash magic from @writernotwaiting and @quotemadness.

Ah, and what a lovely poetry he makes…

fun facts: scorpio

1.       Do not ask Scorpios stupid questions, you will get a very sarcastic response..

2.       They feel emotions so deeply and intensely. Every word, action, positive or negative energy, strongly touches their heart.

3.       Scorpios are excellent observers, but they keep their found information only to themselves. They keep the base information just at the tip of their brain just in case.

4.       Maybe it is hard to get to know them, but it is even harder to forget them.

5.       They can be fully understanding, but they will not tolerate you if you continued to lie to them when they’ve given you a chance to tell the truth.

6.       They are introverts, but they can socialize just like extroverts.

7.       Do not play with Scorpios emotions, because that would be like you are playing with the devil.

8.       Scorpios feel like they are not supossed to apologize for telling the brutal truth. If you can’t accept it you better move along.

9.       If they are angry at you, you have no exit.

10.   Sometimes they might seem a bit paranoid, but keep in mind that they also possess strong intuition that is almost never wrong about people.

11.   One of the realest zodiac signs.

12.   They cannot keep their mouth shut if they disagree with something.

13.   When they are having a bad day, they may act as if they do not care about anyone or anything in the world.

14.   You cannot try and manipulate them. They are masters of psychology, investigation plus they have strong intuition.

15.   They like asking a lot of questions when they are suspicious, not to seem curious but to catch you tangled in your own lies.

16.   You will have a clue that they like you, when they start sharing their plans with you.

17.   Sometimes they might take out their anger or frustration on the person next to them, not necessarily  the one they are angry at.

18.   They cry, but prefer to cry alone instead in front of the presence of people.

19.   They know exactly what to say at the right time.

20.   Scorpios approach relationships very seriously. Short flings, adventures are of no value to them.

21.   They do not like asking for help, except when they are really desperate and helpless.

22.   Scorpios value the truth above all, even if it hurts them.

23.   Ignorance irritates them.

24.   They are not afraid of the unknown, because they are actually someone who represent the unknown and mysteries.

25.   Scorpios are not impressed by expensive things. They do not see the logic or pleasure in being interested in those things.

26.   They will more often feel that they are completely alone and very misunderstood.

27.   Scorpios will feel fulfilled once they find people who understand them and do not consider them crazy.

28.   Many think of them as mean, but if you get to know them they are really sweet, kind , emotional and sensitive beings.

29.   Scorpios do not know how to act someone they are not and they will not even try. They will never act or force things.

On the day you were born

🎈 Aries

On the day you were born ~ a scarlet light brimmed from the sky  a child of the heavens with constellations entangled in her hair The Gods stood in close protection during descent  ensuring the special one would be present  to fire breathe new life into a world that has perished On the day you were born  The heavens held the contest of the Gods in Olympia, in honour of this warrior A lost child never wanting to be found On the day you were born The sun spun closer to the earth  to warm and heat up the rays for your entry nearly setting it on fire, but you would finish the job 🎈 Taurus

On the day you were born ~ The sky was filled with cotton clouds so sweet you could taste the morning as the sun melted caramel onto the earth On the day you were born the flowers burst with a heavenly scent your eyes revealed the beauty of the divine in the very first moment that you cast light You taught us all art and grace and how to paint and colours  we never realised existed before  you remembered these lights from heaven and you showed us all with the way you talk and the way you walk On the day you were born cinnamon balloons were released from the sky a most beautiful child had been born on this night

🎈 Gemini

On the day you were born The lyre of Hermes played like a baby’s lullaby across the heavens and the earth double giggles of delight sprinkling from the sky like falling little pixies enchanted twins had landed with wings still flittering in the mind On the day you were born  The world went silent  It was awaiting your voice, your sound, your song Your message  On the day you were born  angels held their feather pens and all the genies surrounded your mind like a daisy yellow halo so they would never miss hearing  a single thought of yours 

🎈 Cancer

On the day you were born ~

all of the Mother Goddesses converged  in a lunar ceremony parting the skies to shine  the spotlight of the Moon  the seas and tides were moved  a symbol of heaven’s elated mood  Escorting you through  the golden umbilical cord, revering the necessity of this birth ensuring your safety  for the soul of humanity  The ancestors farewelling the spirit  at the ledges of the threshold  Journey well, our darling child

🎈 Leo

On the day you were born ~

The Golden trumpets were bellowed in the grandest cosmic ceremony a parade of rainbow chariots a farewell tour across the heavens the Priestesses and Crystal Queens  bestowed you with secret gifts  and heirlooms from your royal bloodline For a sovereign descendent  In a golden baby cub cradle Destined to rule the Pride Lands On the day you were born The sun danced to create solar flares and crown you with the light  A reminder so you would always know that home will always be waiting with your reverent cosmic throne

🎈 Virgo

On the day you were born ~ 

The angels rejoiced They had sewn their most pristine wings For the most beautiful thing On the day you were born The sky turned a calming blue An old sorcerer, a crone, a healer Would be walking the earth soon Hands sculpted in angelic tapestry The mind enchanted with a golden aura Thoughts that breathe with honey trees The knowledge of all natural potions On the day you were born The angels rejoiced For they could rest their wings They had been given a voice 

🎈 Libra

On the day you were born   a sheet of crystal mirrors shone across the sky pure reflecting light, a celebration of the beauty of God the sun dancing around a tightrope  on the equinox line  in a pyramid of spellbound shades and hues  the clouds blew a pink potion  through the bells of the wind intoxicating everybody in the delirium, fever, and drunken delight  of true love  the world is at peace beauty for a cosmic breath A white flag Sent from angels  a symbol for the world to end  in  a sound that everybody could hear together and no one would feel alone forever

🎈 Scorpio

On the day you were born ~  the clouds blew smokey circles  of indigo incense  swirling across the globe in a hypnotising  and mesmerising sky dance   basking the world in a warm magenta  the underworld’s month long celebration of Halloween  a ceremony performed to honour the birth of Hades’s special child On the day you were born Heaven and hell bowed in respect  For the warrior who sacrificed their incarnation  for the spiritual army  One who would heal with wings that ascended to glorious places that few would ever know On the day you were born purple balloons were released into the sky a child filled with psychic prophecy had been bought into life

🎈 Sagittarius

On the day you were born ~ The Gods in heaven were taking bets  on how bright the sun would shine in celebration of your entrance Delighting in the thought of you  Growing from their umbilical cord  like a sunflower  A book of ancient mythology was descending a giver of divine joy

On the day you were born The Gods expanded the stars as grandiosely as they could grow and glow until they burst into confettis of light  A rainbow painted on the skyline into the Sun pot of gold   Your birthday was  Everybody’s lucky day, with all the fortune in the universe  sent directly that way 🎈Capricorn

On the day you were born ~ Heaven celebrated with the tune of the magic flute the sounding of the bell  echoing through the clouds  from the ancient cosmic clock  spinning the planets together in honour  as heaven touched the earth for a moment an elder was descending and for a moment the angels could take a breath On the day you were born a halo made from the ring of Saturn Was bought down to earth This is your crown and your pride Your sceptre and your Cosmic light On the day you were born Snowflakes made in perfect design Fell in spirals from the sky  A master has finally returned

🎈 Aquarius

On the day you were born Electric balloons were released from the sky, and it rained baby blue diamonds and lime coconut On the day you were born The angels rejoiced and cried. You were taking your first breath with your earth wings. But they missed your company. They didnt want the humans to destroy your spirit. On the day you were born fountains of heavenly wisdom was released into consciousness and switched on the light in the cosmos, so it’s knowledge could never be unseen On the day you were born, you took your first breath and then exhaled this lit a flame in the mind of the people but it is you ~~ who Always holds the candle

🎈  Pisces

On the day you were born Lilac vapour filled the air All the oceans tide would rise  and soak the earth in a soothing cleanse of milky liquid from heaven and end to the drought of love  and re-opening the spiritual temples with a flood of the familiar  ‘You will be home soon, the spirits kept reminding you And ‘Try not to forget you are dreaming On the day you were born The angels breathed a sigh of relief You would reduce their workload You would be one of them 

On the day you were born The pan flute played across the cosmos A melody blown with the spirit of God A musical spectacular, written just for you

C