Hazel Scott playing two pianos at the same damn time with ease

Hazel Scott was a musical sorcerer and a civil rights hero.   She:

She was brought down by the House Committee on Unamerican Activities, and has been largely forgotten.  But she was a sorcerer, and a hero.  

genres are OUTDATED. i sort my music by thottiness, jammability, rebelliousness, theatricality, and depression.

the emo trinity’s average song stats

mcr 

fob

patd

as you can see, no one really touches patd for thottiness, but mcr is the only viable choice for an apocalypse anthem. fob is the most well-rounded of the three, but given that they have neither depression, thottiness, nor rebelliousness above an 8 they can occasionally fall shallow philosophically speaking. 

‘but where is gayness on this chart?’ you ask, like a moron. rebellion, theatre, thothood, jamming, and depression are the five component parts of every gay worth their salt. next question. 

This is the most powerful chart I’ve ever seen

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

That’s the most interesting comment anyone has ever left on one of my posts

Don’t mind me. Just cleaning your dash

Absolute filth on main

In germany we call racoons Waschbär wich translates to wash bear (you know, because they wash their food) but this dude takes it to a whole new level.

Smooosh

spirits of hell and heaven judging your soul in afterlife

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

My friend in the UK told me that they only see their father like 2-3 times a year because they live so far away. When I asked how far do they live, they said that it’s a 45 minute drive……. my commute to work, five days a week is an hour.

So Much Bigger Than I Thought!

How Many Earths Would Fit Inside The Sun

If The Moon Was Replaced By Saturn

Prop Used For Close-Ups In The LOTR Movies

United States Compared To The Moon

Traffic Light

Road Signs

Michaelangelo’s David

Great Pyramid Of Giza Compared To A Human

Size Comparison: Titanic Vs. Modern Cruise Ship

Humpback Whale And Diver

Salt Water Crocodile

Giant African Land Snail

A Full Grown Wombat

Leatherback Sea Turtle

Eagle Talon Vs. Human Hand

Gorilla’s Hand

Saturn suddenly replacing the moon seems cool in theory but the mere idea of seeing something that big and close makes me so uncomfortable???

Those crocodile and turtle pictures have got to be forced perspective

VET?

so here’s a quick story

to help with decision making when going on a date, my bf and i created a list of 20 restaurants we like. 1 being ihop (as a joke, neither of us actually like ihop), 20 being our favorite steakhouse, with the rest in no particular order. we roll a d20 and go to the corresponding place

after i wrote the list down, he goes “roll it, let’s go to dinner tomorrow night!” i got excited, he got a die out, and i fucking CRIT FAILED and now we’re FORCED to go to ihop tomorrow because both of us are too stubborn to back out omg

im currently on the phone with him and im saying “what time you wanna go” and he’s all “to ihop? what time are we going to ihop?” omg he just keeps saying ihop to emphasize how dumb we are

okay but this is the cutest and most real shit i’ve ever seen.

The rolls are meaningless if critical failures don’t come with consequences.

Have you ever wondered where books come from?

Well then, let me show you, because that’s what I do for a living.

Right now, it’s this time of the year, and the little ones have just freshly hatched:

You’ll notice they’re still blind and naked when they hatch. So I make them little coats to keep them warm during their first winter:

See how they happily line up to put them on:

See? Better. Now they’re ready to go and explore the world.

And if they make it through the winter and we take good care of them, they will grow up to be strong and wise like their older fellows:

So, in case you were ever wondering, now you know.

As a Publishing Professional I can say that this is 10000% accurate, and I am a little concerned you’re just giving away all of our industry secrets on Tumblr.

I am a famousy awards-winning author of BOOKS and I endorse this post.

I want to play book tribal in something now

what an excellent idea

Awww…

That’s a blessed man

Congrats on your new sibling cuz I know that’s what they bout to go do lol

^^^ I’m weak cuz we all know lmaooo

^^^^^^^^^

This

Has the same energy as this

what do you wish for?

Do€$nt matt€r

reasons why my grandpa is the best:

the happy ending he deserved