To pie or not to pie, that is the question

my favorite thing that Clark Kent does is try to figure out how a Normal Human Man would respond to getting injured

like if someone shoots at him he can say “oh he missed” and if someone tries to punch him he can kind of roll with it and barely avoid getting hit so they don’t smash their hand while going “oh ow oof what a punch ouch”

but then here comes the Joker with a comically large wooden mallet and now Clark has to figure out how Normal Human Man Clark Kent could conceivably survive this without making it obvious that he is not actually a Normal Human Man. just “oh goddammit i’ve never even seen someone get hit with one of these before, the joker’s probably seen all kinds of people get hit, he knows what this is supposed to look like but i have no goddamn idea i am so fucked”

superman may have the power of flight and super strength but clark kent has the power of improv

BUT YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

POLITELY ASKING JOKER TO STOP

you are completely right, clark kent asking people to please stop trying to murder him is definitely way up there on the list of reasons he is amazing

If you watched chicken run as a kid you’re a communist now

Weekly comic: I’ve been noticing some little things 

“asexuality is just the lack of a sex drive, or a really low one” uuhhh no. really, no. that is incorrect, you have been lied to, i’m sorry.

asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to anyone. sex drive is your horny meter. you can still be horny and not be sexually attracted to people! similarly you can be sexually attracted to people and not be horny!! amaze

oh my god this actually clarifies so much thank you

“I just learned the F word. It is fuck.” a legend.

Dear Diory Bich.

kangaroo: (sees creature descend from the sky with a single giant multicoloured wing)

kangaroo: oh i am going to absolutely kick the shit out of that.

#BigHeadMode

literally what the fuck

Plus his name was Henry and he called himself Indiana after their dog that he loved, so could even be Henrietta Jones and still call herself Indiana and NOTHING NEED CHANGE AT ALL. 

I’m a woman and my last name is Jones?? What the literal fuck

Your name is Jonesette now I’m sorry.

What if….Victoria was a closeted lesbian and accidentally marries Emily—who is bisexual—instead of it being Victor?

(Pt 1)

—

In all seriousness though, I’ve always had this idea in my head since I first watched this movie twice in theaters and I’m finally making it come true because dammit I want to; this alternate story would’ve made my heart soar back when I was in the closet and had an embarrassing crush on Emily

starbucks barista: ive got a caffe mocha for… “russian spy”?

everybody: [remains seated and eyes each other suspiciously]

barista [throwing his CIA badge at the floor in defeat]: dammit i thought for sure that would work

Memes that are funny in 2018 and 1958

Klaus smiling because of Dave ;_;

Klaus + not at all funny, very sad lines

And we keep living anyway We rise and we fall And we break And we make our mistakes And if there’s a reason I’m still alive When everyone who loves me has died I’m willing to wait for it

If I was going to date a man, you’d be the last man I would date. You’d be lucky to get me.

klaus + asking vanya