Nail Salon Lawyer

@Darthpastry get in da terrarium :3

@nanochittle, I'm mailing you to antartica

@Darthpastry get in da terrarium :3

@nanochittle, I'm mailing you to antartica

another poll bc i have an idea

x files: 2 fight 2 future

Vacation, (ca. 1910), illustration by J. C. Leyendecker

this does not apply if you wear exclusively leggings. Those things tear all the time you need like a million on standby

When cats say mrrp mraow reblog if u agree

wheres lolita

Homestar Runner, Mystery Science Theater and Space Ghost Coast to Coast is superwholock for people who listen to They Might Be Giants

Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

I threw my short, blonde hair into a messy bun before putting on my cowboy boots. I stared at my big blue orbs in the mirror and sighed. I'm nothing like the other step-dads in town. I'm different. I like to mow the grass.

"Stupid man!" I heard my stepdaughter yell, and I quickly hurried down the stairs to see my wife and stepdaughter standing there, arms crossed.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We need money for concert tickets, so we're selling you." My wife roared.

I felt tears flow down my rosy red cheeks as I held my Horse Monthly magazine to my chest.

"Howdy honey!" Someone's voice drawled from behind me. I turned around

"Dolly Parton!?" I gasped.

i cant make this up like i really. cant.

He’s doing the Slutty Old Movie Man trick of rolling his sleeves up to his arm pits…

Personality test, is 80f/26c too hot for you?

my job in the leftist commune is babybel unwrapper and everyone wants to fuck me