Yeah i have a dark past (being 13). Just an absolutely horrible backstory (being 13). It would keep you up at night if i told you about it (i was 13 one time)

jesus christ. fine. ill say it. im sleepy. im sleepy, okay? do you know what being sleepy does to a person? to their spirit? i should be pitied.

we talk a lot about ohhhh what if my calling is to be the greatest mammoth hunter ever and I'm wasting my talents in the modern era but we never think about what if Thog from 30,000 BCE was the only person ever born who could get a sub-7min Donkey Kong Country any%, and he never got the chance. what about thog

You can't be talking like that, statics homework

Ideal work schedule:

You can tell that Laios has an accent. His letters are more squishy and soft and Marcille's are more angular. He pronounces a ㅁ like it's an ㅇ.

biologist here! why are plants green? well they suck up air from the sky (blue) and mix it with the sunlight (yellow) i fucking love science.

Every time I see this post I fly into an incandescent rage because it’s VERY ALMOST TRUE and it FUCKING SHOULDN’T BE and I HATE the way op explains it

Rotating Sandwich Mood Board

Rotating Sandwich Mood Board

it’s easy to forget, so I’ll remind y’all: you can make fantasy versions of anything. yes even things you might not think about. like soil types. I am thinking of fantasy soil types right now

“ WHAT I AM NOT

My brother and I used to play a game. I’d point to a chair. “THIS IS NOT A CHAIR,” I’d say. Bird would point to the table. “THIS IS NOT A TABLE.” “THIS IS NOT A WALL,” I’d say. “THAT IS NOT A CEILING.” We’d go on like that. “IT IS NOT RAINING OUT.” “MY SHOE IS NOT UNTIED!” Bird would yell. I’d point to my elbow. “THIS IS NOT A SCRAPE.” Bird would lift his knee. “THIS IS ALSO NOT A SCRAPE!” “THAT IS NOT A KETTLE!” “NOT A CUP!” “NOT A SPOON!” “NOT DIRTY DISHES!” We denied whole rooms, years, weathers. Once, at the peak of our shouting, Bird took a deep breath. At the top of his lungs, he shrieked: “I! HAVE NOT! BEEN! UNHAPPY! MY WHOLE! LIFE!” “But you’re only seven,” I said.”

— Nicole Krauss, The History Of Love

Tim Parchikov, ‘Burning News’

[Image description screenshot from a forum with anonymous users. First poster says"I've been beating this shit for the past 15 minutes and it still isn't even close to reaching ribbon stage. fuck me, baking is gay" Attached image is a person whisking in a bowl. Another person replied "My brother buy a fucking hand mixer" OP responds "I don't give a flying fuck what your brother did."]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.