thank you so much! i'm glad to hear it; training wheels is still very dear to me.
also as i've said elsewhere, i believe it's more important to follow your inspiration and interest where it takes you even if it means not finishing things. one of the reasons i love fanfic is because it's the only genre i can think of where you get to read unfinished works and be present during the writing of them.
but you asked about *my* motivation to finish things, and i'll say it's taken me a long time to build the endurance necessary not only to complete big projects but also complete them to my satisfaction. in my experience, the better you are at finishing things, the worse you become at starting them, and so whereas i used to have a million wips and ideas happening at once, now i can see the ridiculous endeavor ahead of me and pick my battles more knowledgeably.
also, i don't finish everything, especially not right away. sometimes i sit years on a story before i eventually come back to it. but i've found that it's inevitable that when i put something down that i care about, i'll come back around to it when i'm ready. it's not something i have to force. my attention and interest bounces around all over the place but the things i love, i love forever. so i'll always come back around to them.
most importantly--and this is really very important--i lie to myself.
here are the two main lies i tell myself:
- "this is the best thing i've ever written," and
- "i'm almost done."
being a little delusional is a huge benefit as a writer. if you're too honest with yourself nothing can get done. but i've always had a natural talent for convincing myself of things that aren't true and although that's gotten me in a lot of trouble in all other aspects of my life, in writing it keeps me just far enough away from reality that i can finish things.
the process is something like this:
- vague story idea!
- will probably be very small, the shortest story i have ever written in fact
- begin writing
- feels good, feels organic
- no no that's not right, bad vibes
- start over
- ohhh i see what i'm trying to do
- outline the tiniest, easiest outline i have ever made. five bullet points. this happens, and then this and this, and the story ends. EASY
- will finish by tomorrow, probably
- write write write
- will finish by tomorrow, probably
- write write write
- definitely tomorrow, almost done
- check word count. 25k. uh oh
- doesn't matter, almost done. have *checks* four out of five bullet points to go
- write write write
- five point bullet outline no longer effective
- re-outline. five points turns into five pages. uh oh
- check word count. 60k. big yikes
- but! almost done! will finish tomorrow, probably
- write write write
- get stuck? how? but the outline...
- the outline is ineffective. re-outline.
- check word count. 100k. :(
- almost done :)
- a plot knot arises. spend six hours staring at a wall to undo the plot knot
- plot knot is more insidious than expected. open new document. start over
- *now* i'm almost done
- rewrite, restructure, reorganize
- check word count. 20k. :(
- write write write
- check word count. 200k. :((
- weeks-long fugue state during which i am god
- awaken to filthy apartment. i have not eaten a vegetable in many days. i have not seen the sun.
- eat a broccoli
- go outside
- am i living? am i truly living? is this all life is? am i loved? am i worth loving?
- return to safety of fictional world to avoid existential despair
- write write write
- will finish by tomorrow, probably
so it's really less about motivation to finish and more about motivation to chase down an increasingly elusive feeling of joy through immersion into worlds of my own making and control. it's way easier to run away from something than toward it.