Black, Woman, Lesbian. The holy trinity🙏🏿

Egg: Scrambled

Steak: Not bleeding

Milk: Chocolate

Alcohol: Vodka

Warm Drink: Coffee

it used to be 2007 you know

I don't care how old they say they are... this is how I picture anyone whose birth year begins with "20--"

sorry for ignoring you ive been going insane

ok but we couldve been going insane together

I’m

The youth are lost

Throw the whole Gen Z away

Also...

Also...

Respectfully... ma'ams.... please

Well

Don't...

Even...

Get...

Me...

Started...

A knife to the throat doesn't mean she wants to kill you, it means she wants to kiss you... it's our love language.

Turned into orange juice for a second

Nah see I don't trust anything that can shapeshift into a piece of paper sliding under the door 👀 This liquid bones creature belongs in an episode of the X-Files 😑

Ok but this is a valuable lesson that'll help him understand how money works when he's older... you try to keep it in your bank account but it just keeps coming right back out 🤦

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I‘ve reached maximum middle aged lady level.

I got a house.

I‘m buying a house.

I‘m going to be a house owner.

I‘m going to own a little house, with a little garden and a little picket fence.

I‘m walking to the bank and tell them to take all my money.

This thing is so wild.

One minute you‘re freaking out at the enormity of it all and the next you yell I‘M GONNA HAVE A BATHTUB at yourself. The mortgage sleep deprivation is real.

Congratulations! Hold on to this feeling because it wears off fast when you're responsible for ALL maintenance, upkeep, repairs, property additions/removals, taxes & insurance increases, etc... on top of your regular utilities and bills. It's worth it though to put that money into a home you own instead of paying for someone else's home.

Say it louder for the republicans in the back...

I fucking hate black Twitter 😂😂😂😂

Lmaoooo dis my mama doe lmaoooooooooooooooooooo

😩😂😂😂😂😂

"Look it's too hot. Yall not bouta keep openin this door lettin my cool air out, if you come in again you stayin in."

i need to get laid. laid to rest

I always figured the babies had such serious faces because they were learning so hard. Like, learning to dance(for a baby) is just another skill like learning to hold a spoon or throw a ball.

Babies do not understand the relative utility of the skills they are learning so must approach all with the same level of intensity

The Culture™ ✊🏿

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

no one tell him

to succeed in adult friendship you must remember the key tenets of child friendship:

Another way for friendships to transition from childhood to adulthood