Playing any game in the Bioshock triology: you now have an emotional attachment to this surrogate daughter

me: I thought this was a dieselpunk shooter

Bioshock: do u promise to love her

me: I don't think I'm your target demographic

Bioshock: YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOW IN MORTAL PERIL

me:

ive never been more confused in my entire life

DONT plarp his BEES……what is so difficult to understand about that……..

me before shaving: Ugh

me after shaving: I am smooth and perfect. I am sleek. I am the dolphin, I am the rider of ice. nobody can touch me, I cannot be touched. I am so fast. nobody could ever touch me

Me