Toolbox

I have a lovely toolbox,

Filled with ways to cope.

Journaling, art, talk therapy,

All things that give me hope.

As I sit here staring at it,

This box, so full of health.

I can't help but feel discouraged

As I eat to "help" myself.

The anger and exhaustion,

The complex human thoughts.

Are stuffed down ever faster,

As I grip the candy box.

I'm not tasting,

I'm not feeling,

Just my toolbox and me.

With bleary eyes now clearing,

I once again can see.

It's just me and my toolbox.

My untouched toolbox,

And the mess I've made of me.

Body neutrality?

I'm unhappy with an aspect of my body. But my dislike comes from discomfort and annoyance, not aesthetics. I don't want it to change so I can look a certain way. I want it to change so I can feel more comfortable moving and living in my body.

And although I am annoyed that I'm still annoyed with my body. I mentally get a little gold star, because it's a more neutral displeasure.

I think my favorite thing about PCOS is how I try to incorporate more greens, fruits, and whole grains, and work out consistently and I'm rewarded with

NO FUCKING WEIGHT CHANGE

Why prescribing weight loss for polycystic ovary ... https://www.seattletimes.com/life/wellness/why-prescribing-weight-loss-for-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-is-futile-and-dangerous/

https://www.seattletimes.com/life/wellness/why-prescribing-weight-loss-for-polycystic-ovary-syndrome-is-futile-and-dangerous/

I'm hungry, but I dont want to eat. Cause anxiety.

Close only counts in horse shoes, hand grenades, and intuitive eating

I look at my child and see the most beautiful thing. How could a parent ever make their child feel like their appearance is worthless or conditional?

Nothing ruins my day, like seeing a picture of myself

Emotional eating

I'm eating cause I'm tired I'm eating cause I'm sad I'm eating cause I'm lonely I'm eating cause I'm mad I don't do it every day It doesn't take the pain away As a coping method, its just ok It doesn't make me a bad person It doesn't make me weak Tonight a chocolate hug, is exactly what I seek

Intuitive eating allows me to actually find Fun Size candy bars Fun!

It astounds me how much putting on a larger shirt helps my brain. I felt hideous, uncomfortable in my skin. Bulbous. Swollen. High anxiety.

- then I changed shirts

Oversized, flowy, light. Suddenly the tire of fat around my waist wasnt screaming anymore.

My physical and psychological discomfort lessens. I can breathe.

(And I'm talking going from a XL to a 2XL)

You will have hard days in recovery.

Days when your thoughts make you wonder if you're really in recovery.

But if you dont turn back to your ED practices

You are winning.

Hang on