ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
whimper wahimper !! haughgh!! hwhimper!
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
free conversation ender for people who continue to willfully misunderstand source material and start inane arguments about it
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
In a better kinder world. Gideon nav would have been at the club.
glad we're all on the same page team
in a better kinder world this is cytherea and gideon
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
Laios, devourer of all things horrible.
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
ty beanie buddies ❤️ cats 🐱 (silver, delilah, amber, siam, zip, flip, mattie, fraidy, scared-e, purr & chip)
Source: tycollector.com
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
this "flatbread" from r/bakingfail is killing me
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
hey. to the fat person reading this who wants to transition or is transitioning. make your transition goals fat like you. please. the things you aim to gain from transition can be gained while fat. you can be/express your gender and be fat. there is nothing wrong with that, no matter what anyone says. i promise.
let yourself exist. let yourself be happy. you have just as much of a right as every other person in this world to do that, especially as you transition. it's okay. you're going to be alright, and you're also going to look fucking awesome. you already look fucking awesome. it's your body. own it.
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
We lost the fucking plot when we started doing "pro vs anti" ship discourse i am SO serious when i say that its literally not that deep and treating it like it is will give you brain rot beyond your comprehension
"Youre in fandom? Are you pro or anti ship ://" i have a full time job and pay taxes in tangible real life bestie
Do you think i give any hint of a shit that some teenager is writing "problematic fiction" on ao3 when inflation is a real thing and passengers tell me to kill myself 7 times a day because i took their shampoo away after they were told no less than 20 times that anything over 100ml cant fly. Do you think i care that tumblr users are doxing each other over fictional character opinions when rent prices are tag teaming me with utilities and car prices and the existential enui of being a trans guy in alberta. Do you think i care. Do you think any of this actually matters. Get real problems i am SERIOUS
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
In a piece for The New Inquiry from back in 2017, George Dust states that when queer people complain about there being a top shortage, what they really mean is “nobody is fucking me the way I want, and I have no agency in that.” Alongside co-authors Billy-Ray Belcourt and Kay Gabriel, Dust suggests that many queer people align themselves with a passive or “bottom” position because they believe that role will absolve them of the guilt of really wanting things. They present themselves as what they believe to be the sexual party with zero power; the receiver, the accepter of action rather than its cause.
This position is drawn in contrast to the bottom-identified person’s idea of a top: the one who approaches, the person with hungers and desires, the person who decides which sexual activities will happen and how intense they will get. The top, from this perspective, is the stronger, more capable, more dangerous person. They’re the only one who can ever be guilty of intruding or harming somebody else. This power is scary, but it’s also compelling.
Dust calls this fantastical version of a top a “brute” — and they are the most cartoonish stereotype of what it means in society to be a man. Because it’s a cartoonish stereotype, no human actually lives up to it — and we’d probably revile a person even if they could.
Though queer people know we are harmed by the gender binary and heteronormativity and all the social scripts those things force upon us, its biases are still embossed on our brains. Without meaning to, we reproduce tired gender stereotypes in our relationships. And so we see expressing a sexual want as masculine, and being masculine as being more capable of violence and coercive control, and thus bad. We see failing to communicate one’s desires openly as desirably feminine, as well as a sign of blamelessness and purity — because on some level we still feel it is wrong to have desires.
But this entire worldview is a complete lie. Desire is not evil. Expressing attraction is not a violation. Failing to express oneself can be just as dangerous as not listening to someone else’s limits. Women can be abusive. Bottoms can sexually assault. No matter our gender, presentation, or sexual role, we are each capable of harm. And the only way to make a safe, mutually pleasurable sexual encounter happen is by going after it, actively, and communicating from a position of inner strength.
So how do you do that, if society’s been telling you all your life that you’re meant to date by acting like a deer passively snapping twigs in the woods, waiting for some hunter to hear you, and pursue you? (That really is dating advice that Evangelical Christian counselors give to women, if you can believe it).
By not fixating so much on what you’re doing or not doing to draw other people toward you, and instead thinking in terms of what you want and what you observe beyond yourself.
thanks for these additions !
#ooooh boy. yeah..#i definitely was like this whne i was first coming out. this is really good writing#it's hard to unlearn. it's hard to change. but havigg that agency is so so important#for yourself. for not making your partner do all the emotional work#for owning your sexuality/queerness without guilt#anyways. genuinely sorry to every butch/masc i had a crush on when i was a baby gay. hope y'all are doing well
Love when people add these. Thanks for sharing about your growth!
Here’s the New Inquiry piece, totally worth the read.
#long post#both articles are really really good#especially the second one#and everyone should read them #as a black person i'm expected to do all the heavy lifting of pursuing/flirting/initiating/fucking#and this makes it incredibly difficult for me to date#because i KNOW that#and i don't want to be in that role#i resent it#and i've come to resent dating because everyone i've dated in this area (vancouver is very very white)#has been suuuuuper passive/uncommunicative and it drove me insane#the second article uses “brutishness” and i think this encompasses the experience#of what you're expected to be while dating other queers #it's not just forwardness that's desired it's rawness they perceive as animalistic#which is extremely dehumanizing obviously!#which makes the whole experience extremely fraught#because ultimately it's all about that other person and how they feel and what they want#without them ever having to overtly express it#which allows them to wallow in passivity and sexual shame while still getting their needs met (but only partially)#(hence the whining about a top shortage) #it's part and parcel of a narcissism i've noticed in most white queers#where they position themselves at the center of the universe#they see themselves as The Most Oppressed and also The Most Desired#and they forcibly make you a part of this narrative#it's extremely insidious#it's also not just white people tbh nonblack poc are guilty of this too#but i won't even touch that rn#anyway great stuff and i need to show it to some people lmao#find later
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
The most popular browsers in different countries in 2012 and 2022.
alivelmall
do your part - download Mozilla Firefox today!
alivelmall
Nope! When Chrome first came to popularity, people switched over to it cause it was “faster” (turns out, it just eats through your device’s CPU) but since then Firefox has upped its game in a major way. Chrome just doesn’t measure up anymore. Plus, nowadays Chrome is just a data harvester designed to show hyper targeted ads - so even if Firefox ain’t for you, it’s still worth ditching Google for a different browser.
blue-and-confused
Legit though I switched to Firefox and it’s so so so much better
i’m gonna keep reblogging this ad infinitum so yall might as well convert now
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
I know we've talked about all the ways, "I hate all men EXCEPT trans men", is generally painting us not reeaallllyyy men which is fucked up, but it's also a nerve wracking position to find yourself in. Yes, I am incredibly hostile to people very much like you, but you're my exception. Who knows what will cause me to take that Exception card away from you, and when. Are you really not the enemy? Are you? Are you? Haha just checking no pressure do as I say.
In some ways, I can really understand wanting men who are safer and more understanding but like, this is scary to be on the other end of. It's controlling and you have power over me. I'm literally transgender.
@ashelyskies I hope it’s ok for me to screenshot your tags, I just really want both parts on my blog.
[ begin id: a screenshot of tumblr tags that read "#im keeping this to the tags because ops point is right and incredibly important and i dont want to derail #but as a trans woman i feel this in my own way #when people say 'i hate all men but dont worry i dont consider you a man' i cant help but wonder #does that apply when im not passing? when my voice slips deeper or I dont wear makeup? #does that apply when I disagree with them about something they consider important? #does that apply if i talk about sex? #does that if I'm anything other than the version of the gay best friend stereotype they've relabeled for trans women? #like look if your argument sounds like a terf argument i have to wonder how long your trans acceptance will really last #so yeah theres a thousand ways that men are as nuanced as women and that there isnt just the good gender and the bad gender? #when you can just adopt this oversimplified mindset that paints the whole situation in a nice easy binary #and since its mostly women with this mindset it also conveniently means they're part of The Good Gender that can do no wrong #and anything they can say or do to men is inherently good because they're talking to The Bad Gender. #its such a lazy and ignorant and rancid worldview to adopt. and as a trans person I don't trust anyone who sees the world that way." / end id ]
Getting over the modern idea that 50% of our species is inherently evil is the first step we all have to take if we want anything to change. Infighting based on bioessentialism and spite does nothing but keep us divided and unable to change anything. Ape is strong together.
If you deny 50% of the human population their basic humanity, you will find them fall into a couple of different groups. One responds in kind, one responds with hostility, one politely pretends it isn't happening, one gets defensive, and one hides and tries to avoid you. You've also created an Us VS Them scenario, one of the fundamental building blocks of fascism, for your in-group. Anyone who falls outside of your categories will worry about you putting them in the out-group.
Cis women are not powerless. Just because a power imbalance exists doesn't mean they are powerless and can't harm people and aren't responsible for their actions. I know anger is hard to control, but stereotyping people based on their bodies won't remove the systems of oppression that were built on that philosophy.
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
Please help the family of a non-verbal autistic child (who has been losing weight because he only eats certain kinds of food, largely unavailable during this time) leave Gaza!
They are almost halfway there btw
ravenqueensspecialboi reblogged
as you see the inhuman list of items banned from entry into gaza, you should be keenly aware the partner in israel's murder-suicide pact, the united states, has had an embargo on cuba (effectively doing the same to iran with sanctions too btw) for decades that includes medical supplies.
none of this was lifted for covid 19. both our cruel, barbaric countries will deny the absolute bare necessities for our genocidal economic projects