It's Nonlinear

we've done it again folks

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

"aw i love your earrings, they're so cute!" i say, making the barista's day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading "you look like you've got that homestuck kinnie pussy." thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains

#this is philosphically unsound #at most 5 other people heard you brighten that barista's day #otoh thousands of innocent tumbrinas were forced to read the phrase 'homestuck kinnie pussy' regardless of the target #you brought as much balance to the world as anakin skywalker #and i hope you hate the sand on the beach of life

my partner doesn’t use pet names nearly as much as i do, which is very funny because i will crack my gay little knuckles and say some shit like “good morning my sun and moon, my loveliest boy, my baby my sweetheart my darling dearest” and he will reply “hello adrian”

There's a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell, but the midnight train goes anywhere. Trains are clearly the superior transit method.

but be warned....... that train is crazy it also goes off the rails

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

[ID: A page from a What If? book that reads, "In fact, the Moon — our faithful companion — would act to undo the damage Andrew's scenario caused. Right now, the Earth spins faster than the Moon, and our tides slow down the Earth's rotation while pushing the Moon away from us. (There's a footnote here, that says, "See 'Leap Seconds,' http://what-if.xkcd.com/26, for an explanation of why this happens.") If we stopped rotating, the Moon would stop drifting away from us. Instead of slowing us down, its tides would accelerate our spin. Quietly, gently, the Moon's gravity would tug on our planet..."

Here, the page has a comic of the Earth and Moon. There are four "panels" — there are no lines separating them, but there are four depictions of the Earth and Moon — and in each, Africa and Eurasia are shown on the Earth as the Moon spins around it. The Moon says, "Hey, Earth. Earth? Why'd you stop? / Oh no. Are you okay? Earth, are you okay? / Don't be scared, Earth! I can help! / I'm here, Earth. Your moon is here."

The text finishes, "... and Earth would start turning again." There is a final panel of the comic, where the Earth has turned, showing Australia, a bit of Asia, and the Pacific Ocean. The Moon tells the Earth, "I will never leave you." /end ID]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

im the prettiest canary in this mine

what the fuck is that smell

Hi

Rashida Tlaib has set up a petition to send to the White House to recognize and stop the ethnic cleansing and forced displacement happening in Gaza. If you’re a US citizen please sign. I have no illusions that this will change policy, but the public outcry against their actions must continue. We will not be distracted or discouraged from continuing to object to these humans rights violations.

Hi likes do not help this post, please reblog

I need this.

Reblogged last year, hoping it comes this year

I HAVE WAITED ALL YEAR TO POST THIS

the notes are broken 😂

Reblogging partly for awesome computer shortcuts, and partly because I wish to once again take part in a Post That Broke The Notes. 

WAH

december???? what next??? 2024?????

And an evergreen reminder from a few years ago.

finding out Anakin was 23 years old when he became Vader was so crazy to me. he should've been at the club

HE TRIED

reblog for larger sample size :)