yes hello this is blog

okay but I did not know that there is a story about f. scott fitzgerald nervously showing ernest hemingway his penis because zelda said he couldn’t satisfy a woman with it and ernest hemingway was like “lol no dude you’re fine”

what are the modernists even

the best part of that story in context is that before they pull out their dicks, hemingway spends the better part of a chapter physically describing fitzgerald in great detail, claiming to be grossed out by him but obviously, obviously uncomfortably attracted

oh my god, it got better. I just went to find an excerpt and

ernest hemingway calm down and control your thirst a little

“The mouth worried you until you knew him and then it worried you more“ is a hell of a line 

No Homo: A Literary Masterpiece

This is the only good tiktok

I’m in a YA Library-services focused class now (basically it’s a lot less “Teens like vampires!” and a lot more “Jesus fucking christ how did we get to the point where it is so socially ingrained in us to treat teenagers like shit”) and we’re on this module on teen space design in libraries and it’s like “Well, by including teenagers in the design process, we found that when it comes to spatial design, teenagers like lots of natural light, green and sustainable building praxis, clean, casual, and comfortable atmospheres,  interesting and appealing colors, and also absolutely bullshit furniture that even they have no idea how to sit on.”

So it’s like…

“Tell me… what do The Youths™ want?” 

“We still don’t know, but they seem to respond well to victorian fainting couches remodeled to look like they came out of that one time in the early 2000′s where our idea of futuristic was making everything look like it was made out of jell-o.” 

Like in this one library, they introduced this piece of furniture that was referred to as “the disk” or “The round thing” and it was just this kind of… solid, padded squat cylinder, not a table because it was padded, too big and connected to the floor to be an ottoman, and not a couch because it was… a cylinder. And like, at first the teens didn’t use it because they thought it was reserved as like, a cushy stage for like, storytimes or something, but as soon as they realized they could sit or lay down on it and it was for them, you would have friend groups of teens literally piling on each other on it. Like that’s honestly the cutest shit.

How to build a teenarium

Adolescent brains like High Novelty, High Shareability, High Squish, ime (both of being one and observing them as an adult). And they have very low inhibitions about lying on things/sitting “weird”/lounging/otherwise taking physical positions that most adults vaguely avoid because they’re Undignified.

And furniture that actively encourages that helps indicate to them, in an unspoken way, that this isn’t An Grownup Space that they’re trespassing in! But the natural-light/building praxis/etc indicates that it’s not a BABY space.

Observing undergrad libraries this appears to last all the way up into ~early twenties.

Sometimes the only way to tell which of us were 30+ and which did a fast undergrad and went right into grad-school, in my LIS intake, was which of us were like “yes I will happily sprawl weirdly on the floor” and which of us were like “gdi my knees already hate that.” But it was a pretty reliable way.

And a family that takes care of their elders

Just load already!

8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown s06e04

Ten-in-bed

A bucket of snoots

a group of larval Gentle Aliens experience the joy and happiness of The Pile

a goblet of horses

Lyrics: “Cocaine ruin your brain (ay), please don’t do cocaine (ay), cocaine ruin ruin your brain (what), please don’t do cocaine (ay)”

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

*fistbump*

Confirmed.  He’s also dumped millions into cancer research.  I really do love Keanu Reeves a lot.

Keanu Reeves is like the nicest person. He still lives in an apartment/flat and he gives most of his money away to charities and people who need it. He even invites some paparazzi people to sit down and eat with him when he’s at a coffee shop or restaurant. He’s such a nice person.

When I was working on the UWS, one of my delivery guys accidentally backed his scooter into a parked car in front of the restaurant. I went out to help, since the driver didn’t speak much English, and it turned out the car belonged to Keanu Reeves. He helped us pick the scooter up, and when I asked if we could exchange insurance information (because the front of the car was pretty banged up), he kept telling us not to worry about it and put his hand on the driver’s shoulder and said “I just want to make sure you’re okay, man. Are you okay?” And he was so sincere about it and so kind that I decided in that moment I would always defend Keanu Reeves at all costs. He is an excellent man.

I need to be more like Keanu Reeves because I’m evil compared to him.

“Next few centuries”

Keanu dropping hints that he is an immortal.

i love keanu reeves

My wife and I were dining at Nobu’s in Honolulu and sitting across from us was Keanu or at least I thought it was. We kept talking about whether it was him or not and finally, I decided to throw some old school Bill & Ted at him.

I stood up and threw my arms up into the motion of an air guitar, my wife is begging me to sit back down, and I pointed at the guy who may be Keanu Reeves, and said, “Most Excellent.”

He stood up and did it back at me. Then we both had a moment and pointed at each other. I sent him another of whatever it was he was drinking. It was a cucumber sake martini. That was the end of it.

Or so I thought.

He left before we finished our meal. By the time we were done, dessert came that we didn’t order. We thought, “oh, must be compliments of the chef.” Then the bill never came. When we asked for it, our waitress said Keanu Reeves took care of it.

IT WAS REALLY HIM. And he left a note. It said, “thanks for the refresh. Keanu.”

When I finally saw him again years later, because of work. I brought it up. Then he air guitar and said, “most excellent. I remember. At Nobu’s. Thanks for the drink.” We chatted a bit and I got an autograph for my mum because she’s a huge Keanu fan. Then that was that.

What a moment.

An angel

And he does a lot of anti human trafficking work iirc. Seems like a really awesome guy.

Back when I first moved to NYC, I got a job as a theater usher. We were all young, 18-20 or so, and it was heavily impressed upon us that we needed to treat the theatergoers with TOTAL respect at ALL times or risk our jobs. As such, we were all totally underprepared for the drunk guy who tried to steal a bottle of wine from the lobby bar during intermission. We were trying to politely get the bottle back, but he was growing loud and belligerent. Since the second act was now starting, this was a countdown to all of us being in trouble. 

Then Keanu walks up. Calmly charms the guy. Slips the usher behind the bar cash to cover the bottle, without the guy even noticing, and walks him back in to his seat like it’s a normal thing he does every day. He didn’t know the guy, didn’t know any of us, but effortlessly deescalated the situation and quite probably saved some jobs that night. 

Just a wandering do-gooder, this man.

#everything i’ve ever heard anecdotally about keanu reeves #further convinces me that he is the chillest immortal #like he’s probably just spent centuries donating blood instead of drinking it (via @revolutionarygirlshati)

The Seven Deadly Sins, chapter 319

The unforgivable deadlock

“더운 건 누구나 마찬가지인데, 어린아이만 이렇게 놀라는 법은 없잖아요.”

“Everyone feels hot no matter what, so there shouldn’t be any rules that say only kids can play like this.”

Incredible.

UNMUTE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

HHHAAAAAAAHAAHA!!

Aussie Reviews!!!

(x)

this is possibly the best cat video with no actual cat in it that I have ever seen

Here’s the cat for anybody who hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing Solaire