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Fluff and Pain...

@ixiethepixiewrites

...but mostly fluff. This is where I'll dump my random writing. Predominantly USUK, I will write other ships and I take drabble requests! NSFW will be present. Icon by me and background by me. Buy me a Ko-fi! :D https://ko-fi.com/ixiepixie
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Internship Games

Rating: T

Warnings: None yet

Summary: Once again, it is that time of year. The time for interns to survive endless coffee runs and the most meaningless tasks foisted upon them for the amusement of their superiors.

It is time for the Internship Games.

Notes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NARCO LOOK I MADE SOMETHING WOW OOOH AAAAH

Internship Games - Chapter 1 - ixiepixie - Hetalia: Axis Powers [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org|Organization for Transformative Works
#usuk#ukus#magical strike au#hetalia#aph America#aph England#ixiewroteathing#human au#office au#crawls my way out of the depths#coughs I... am alive#mostly
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Proud to be on the Couch Again

Rating: M

Warnings: Fail Sex, Excessive Patriotism, read at the risk of your sanity (jk tho this is tame compared to some of my shitpost drabbles)

Summary: What do you get when you mix a midlife crisis, a horny husband, and some knee slappin American music?

Proud to be on the Couch Again - ixiepixie - Hetalia: Axis Powers [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
archiveofourown.org|Organization for Transformative Works
#usuk#ixiewroteathing#hetalia#aph america#aph england#human au#drabble#not safe for kiddos#tho tbh not much unsafe except the mere mention of sex#better protect the children from the satan juice
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Anonymous asked:

W-will there be a pt2?

Probably. I'm gonna finish the story of FFXIV Shadowbringers tonight or tomorrow which will most likely mentally destroy me, so we'll see.

I really enjoyed writing this one so I have high hopes for more, and lots of ideas.

#not writing#ixiespeaks#anon ask#plus Im stressed over inventory which happens on monday#and I have 3 full fucking carts of freight to push out before then#and only one day to do it because they 'dont want us doing freight on a weekend'#blah blah blah customer service on weekends blah blah blah holiday weekend#sure#but when they roast your asses for not meeting inventory compliance because I have 2000 units in boxes dont whine at me
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May the Best Gingerbread Man Win

Rating: G

Warnings: usuk, fluffy, makes no sense

Summary: An unexpected visitor comes to Alfred's door as he prepares for a gingerbread contest.

A/N: Leave it to me to be uninspired and wallowing in a block until the last day possible. This is for @fvck-amx , SURPRISE, I'm your secretly late Santa! Sorry if this makes no sense, work has me worn out LMAO Christmas season retail hell is ending, but it's far from over. Now it's RETURN season hahahaha save me.

#usuk#ixiewroteathing#usukholiday2018#hetalia#enjoooooyyyyyyyy#this is garbage and I'm not happy with it but I'll tired and I have 2 and a half hours left to hit send forgive me#I hope you like it at least ;;
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So uh

Tbh my blog will likely still be here, I hardly make nsfw and if I do, it's on AO3 or in my google docs where no one will ever see it. If I AM gone, you can find me there under the name "ixiepixie".

Basically everything here is over there, except maybe 1 or 2 drabbles, but I have all of my writing backed up so I'm not too worried. I'm gonna go through and make sure I have them all, but I'm reasonably confident that I'll be fine.

I am also "@ixbranna16" on twitter and instagram if you want my garbage art.

Also I am ixbranna16 on PSN and Steam AND Minecraft if ya'll ever wanna play games together. Just message me.

#personal#not writing#ixiespeaks#tumblr is weird and couldn't hire a real programmer if one fell from the sky#but eh whatever#I'm really tired and work at 5 am and my shit is all backed up so tumblr can eat my female presenting nipples
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katiewrites

OTP Drabble Challenge!

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask, along with a pairing, and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece! Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
  2. “Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”
  3. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”
  4. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”
  5. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”
  6. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*
  7. “Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”
  8. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”
  9. “Why are you awake right now?”
  10. “Come over here and make me.”
  11. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”
  12. “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”
  13. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”
  14. “No, I’m not talking to you.”
  15. “No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”
  16. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”
  17. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  18. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?”
  19. “I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”
  20. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”
  21. “Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*
  22. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”
  23. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”
  24. “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”
  25. “You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”
  26. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”
  27. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”
  28. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
  29. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”
  30. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”
  31. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”
  32. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”
  33. “Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”
  34. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  35. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”
  36. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”
  37. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”
  38. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”
  39. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”
  40. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”
  41. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”
  42. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
  43. “Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”
  44. “You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”
  45. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
  46. “Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”
  47. “Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”
  48. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”
  49. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”
  50. “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”
  51. “Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”
  52. “32?” - “I’ll prove it!”
  53. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”
  54. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”
  55. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”
  56. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”
  57. “You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”
  58. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”
  59. “Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”
  60. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”
  61. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”
  62. “I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”
  63. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”
  64. “I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”
  65. “We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”
  66. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”
  67. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”
  68. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”
  69. “Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”
  70. “I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”
  71. “You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”
  72. “Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”
  73. “You still need your baby blanket?”
  74. “Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
  75. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”
  76. “I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”
  77. “Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”
  78. “Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”
  79. “Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”
  80. “Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”
  81. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”
  82. “You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”
  83. “I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”
  84. “Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”
  85. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”
  86. “You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”
  87. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”
  88. “We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”
  89. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”
  90. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.”
  91. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”
  92. “You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”
  93. “You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”
  94. “We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”
  95. “Why’d you hug him? You love him?”
  96. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”
  97. “Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”
  98. “Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”
  99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”
  100. *Make up your own*

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

#please help me#I have others to answer but IDK I'm slightly drunk and wanna write#the workd is rolling every time I stand up holy shit#pls send#not writing
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If you are afraid of spiders or have issues with seeing them, do not go under the read more.

I was at work, taking stuff to the stockroom while another associate was cleaning out stuff from the truck that came in and we both saw this big black spider hanging upside down from its web.

Naturally, I went into full ass panic mode when I saw this.

Say hello to a black widow. My camera is kinda shitty when I zoom in, so it blurred out the color of her abdomen, but fucking trust me, that little hourglass was there and staring me in the face. (not to mention the fact that the web structure and her position in the web are clear giveaways that she is indeed a widow spider)

My coworker just looks at me like, "Should we kill it?"

LIKE HE NEEDS TO ASK. I give him this stare and tbh I'm probably looking scared shitless, like "It could kill us!"

Neither of us wanted to get close though, but we found the handle of a broom or something, basically a 5 ft stick, and he smashed her.

At least it didn't look like she had any web sac with babies in it, or so fucking help me I'd have set that stockroom on fire just to ensure the deaths of all those venomous little demons.

If you work in the US, please be mindful of things you grab in the stockrooms, especially closer to winter, black widow bites aren't usually fatal, but CAN be.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I'm not gonna sleep for the next few weeks.

#not writing#ixiespeaks#spiders#tw spider#tw: spiders#lmao when i showed the janitor he was like#:')#i like my job but spiders just dhejdbs#second time in my life i've faced a widow
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Power of Fate

Rating: T

Warnings: Some swearing, and very bad flirting, usukus

Summary: Alfred works at the local power plant, and it's his turn to answer the angry phone calls during a blackout.

A/N: This was my entry for @usukustwiceperyear , Uncommon Professions. I know this is an odd setup for a power plant but TBH this is how my dad worked in our small ass little town in Ohio, at least as much as i can remember about it. If they DID have a real secretary, I never met them, and I hung around that power station a lot LOL there were so many buttons and knobs in there I wanted to touch but instead I just watched the voltage gauges and the AMP reader move around. 

#hetalia#usuk#ukus#usukus#usukustwiceperyear#ixiewroteathing#Im late in posting mine lmao I was busy and sleepy#hope you enjoy this train wreck
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I'll post my twiceperyear entry soon but a I'm just going through a lot right now.

Today I lost a friend. I loved her so much, but she's gone now and I'm just not doing great. The past few weeks of watching her get weaker and weaker have kept me in a bad place mentally. I'm trying though.

RIP Calico

#ixiespeaks#not writing#personal#please just give me time#I have so many unfinished fics but#I haven't felt like writing in weeks#it was a struggle to finish my twiceperyear entry and I feel so horrible about how short it was and I feel like it was absolute garbage#I just want to play games and sleep and eat brownies
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