Moments later…..

I was pent against of the the wall biting down hard on my bottom lip as Chris’ large manly hands pleased my body, one hand gripping on my thick yet firm ass and the other under my shirt pinching my hard nipples. My body was heating up, my breathing soon grew heavy and honestly, my pussy had been wet since he picked me up after our kiss. Although it felt good, I couldn’t help but mentally remind myself that I’m a happily married woman and Chris is not my husband.

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The Fanfic Feedback Drive

NEW Blog Feature: THE FEEDBACK DRIVE

So, this is a new blog feature that will probably happen every other week. The Feedback Drive is a way to make sure fanfics don’t go unnoticed. It’s a way for fanfics to get discovered and get feedback

So here’s how it works:

-If you’d like to participate, you will  send me your name/ fanfic through Ask

-Then, using a randomized decision, we will give each person a fanfic for the weekend.

-On Friday, you will read a few chapters of the fanfic you were assigned and then leave feedback ANONYMOUSLY and repeat the same thing Saturday, read chapters and repeat ANONYMOUSLY

-On Sunday, you will read a few chapters and leave feedback and then tell the writer who you were. Then you will reblog your favorite chapters from them.

Everyone who volunteers will have someone reading their fanfic and leaving feedback.

If you have any questions feel free to ask me on this blog or my other two blogs @timeless-ff @thelastcallousff

How about we try to do this again?

It’s not a Chris ff but I’m writing again. Shout out to my new muse, Keith Powers (and also Woody, full woody ff will be up this spring)

Tape You will be finished in the spring. I found some files from my old pc (the one that got stolen hellas ago and made me quit writing this) so yay!!!!!!! This blog is officially active again.

Love y'all and thanks for not unfollowing me during my writing hiatus. Even if you don’t fw Chris anymore (my interests have totally waned but I can’t abandon my characterization) I appreciate it soooo much for still fuckin w me.

Thank you!!!!

😭😭😂😂 fool

Prologue

Cylia: There’s are some some people you’ve just got to love from distance. We stood across from each other not saying a word but our eyes were telling a story by looking at each other. He looks good like he always does.  Tears already left my eyes while I tried wiping them so no more could fall. He try so hard to not show his emotions, but we both knew how he really is. I put my bag on the bed while music was blasting from downstairs. Both of us decided to come to this get together since his mom plan on having it. I knew he didn’t know I was coming, so I didn’t want to be rude. “All this bullshit right now.” He spoke first while starring at me.  "We had everything but shit changed a lot.“ My blood was boiling that I wanted to slap the shit out of him because what he saying was true between us. Both of us couldn’t believe this was ever be REAL or NON-EXISTED. "Chris you and I both fucking changed. We both wasn’t with the shit we did to each other anymore.” I spat staring right back at him. “Our love for one another fucked up and never exist again.” Chris shakes his head while his hand ball up into a fist like he wanted to punch something. “What you wanted me to do huh? You can’t force this situation on me for the rest of your life!” I added, yelling at him. “We both knew what the fuck we were doing and it didn’t work anymore.” “Bullshit, our love didn’t-” He paused,  hearing the Kidd running into the room. “Daddy, Daddy.” We heard Ella and Gideon voice. “Hey babies.” Chris smile, picking them both up in his arms holding them. He kissed their cheeks. “Daddy, misses you.” “We mesw you too.” Gideon try to speak making us laugh a little. “Mommy!” Ella face lightens up when she saw me. I walk up to them kissing their cheeks while Chris looked at me. Smiling, I pinch their cheeks and said. “You guys staying with daddy tonight.” “Yay.” They both yelled. Chris and I laugh, shaking our heads. I was going to say something else, but we heard two people called our names. “Chris!” A girl voice said. “Cylia!” I heard my mom called me. I sigh kissing their cheeks before walking away going out the door until Chris said something. “I love you always Cylia.” I sniffle headed straight to my mom since she needed my help while hearing the kids giggles. I’ll always love Chris but sometimes things get too intense, crazy and aggressive between us that maybe it is better if we left the situation behind us,  we could learn how to deal with each other from a distance but I guess that’s not how life works.

1.

“So what are we exactly?” Arthur spoke softly being awaken from  sleep to the sound of her frantically moving around his room in search of her clothes which were scattered around his bedroom from last night’s adventure. She had accidentally stayed the night, it was about four am so he assumed she woke up to text messages from her. He and Tanya had been doing this every single friday and saturday for the last six months, going out to dinner then proceeding to Arthur’s place but this time they had gotten swept with the intimacy of it all, falling asleep with her in his arms. Although this relationship was supposed to be a bit more contractual, the two had started developing feelings for one another. He was a married man with children a few years younger than her, which she did not know so he knew she could not be his one and only, he just want to hear it from her. They talked every single day, went on dates at least twice a week, he spoiled her like no other giving her anything she desired or needed, even paying her bills but a relationship status had yet to be stated. Normally he  wouldn’t even bother to ask but these feelings had clouded his judgement.

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Changes.

Going forward Tiara will no longer be Beyoncé, she will be Indya Marie. There will be 2 final chapters with Tiara as Beyoncé then the sequel will start with her as Indya. Myself as well as my new co writer felt as though Indya fit better with the character that I have created as well as the direction in which the story will be going. By the way I have a co writer now, Micha who is a good long time friend of mine. Thanks for you patience, support and understanding.

-Management aka Ty 😘

Actually we have decided on Yaris Sanchez 

Talking to my mother about my issues was a waste of time but at least I got it out :) lowkey hurt me but that’s cool I feel better

Sounds like me when I try to express myself to my mom..

Yep…. she legit said “if you go to church you won’t be depressed, I wasn’t depressed when my daddy died, I wasn’t depressed when my friends died… you have no reason to be depressed or unhappy”

My response: “oh. k.”

At that point I wanted to be left alone and didn’t want her to say anything to me. Still don’t. Yet she always say, “that hurt me” GIRL BYE 😂😂😂this is why I don’t tell you ANYTHING. Whether it’s my love life or my personal life period. I don’t bring friends by to meet her or nothing look wtf she saying to me? Nope

Sounds like my mom like I was literally 19 smack dab in the middle of a nervous breakdown/quarter life crisis and told her how much I hated school and how depressed I was and she told me “everyone hates school” repeatedly and sat silent! So tried to talk to dad got a similar reaction saying “it’s Not about you” Now that I’m older her and my father wonder why I don’t talk to them about shit and I’m like y'all set the standard for that because I tried to come to you guys SEVERAL TIMES and it was nothing but hell for me

Yep. Several things are wrong with me I can acknowledge it. Some things far as things in my child hood, certain predators and other things - my father knew and suspicion. My dad knew depression because he endured it, he dealt with so much as a child that he wanted to shield from us so even though he was a tough man. He wouldn’t have treated mental illness the way my mom does. One reason I miss him as badly as I do, I love my mom don’t get my wrong but I can’t go any further in my adulthood speaking to her. The day she becomes a grandmother she will be around but not as around as my grandmother. My grandmother is actually more understanding than she is. She legit has asked me, “are you depressed? What’s going on?”

“Ask your daughter.” Is all I can give for response I swear I’m not gonna be like this as a parent. Not to mention my little cousins are unhappy and being mistreated/dealing with my controlling aunt…. everyone else thinks they aren’t depressed but the youngest cousin she was self harming a few years ago….(about 2-3 years) so when they were all confused I’m like y'all are really fucking blind….

Sounds like my family like my dad says “you put too much pressure on yourself, what are you depressed for?” And it’s like when you say shit like that of course I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t been myself for months and my parents never noticed! And it’s hard not to take it personally cause it’s like my sister could be having a bad day and everyone in the house is catering to her but I’m having an episode for MONTHS, practically losing my mind, crying in my car cause I have no at home support and they wonder why I don’t really fuck with them and why I’m so eager to move out! Like Jesus I’m just trying to save myself from my clearly untreated mental illness and passive aggressive family life

Why is this pattern though? Like it’s the same for me tbh. I don’t really talk to much of anybody because my mom has set this standard of no one cares you just gotta suck it up. I’ve always been intimated to speak about how I feel or if I was feeling depressed because people would either cut me off or say you don’t really feel that way it’s just a phase. But lord if it’s about them the whole world comes crashing down -.-. That’s why I don’t call any family members really for anything cause they’ll repeat what I said it just too much man.

I’ve noticed in the black community mental illness isn’t really taken as seriously which is sad. And I have a lot of that happening where I can’t tell my mom something cause then it will be the butt of someone’s joke later or the topic of discussion

It’s like they don’t think it can happen to us when it can and it does. Black peoples don’t want to acknowledge it maybe because they don’t know how, or they just don’t want to I’m not sure which one it is.

I honestly it’s a little bit of all of those things

Talking to my mother about my issues was a waste of time but at least I got it out :) lowkey hurt me but that’s cool I feel better

Sounds like me when I try to express myself to my mom..

Yep…. she legit said “if you go to church you won’t be depressed, I wasn’t depressed when my daddy died, I wasn’t depressed when my friends died… you have no reason to be depressed or unhappy”

My response: “oh. k.”

At that point I wanted to be left alone and didn’t want her to say anything to me. Still don’t. Yet she always say, “that hurt me” GIRL BYE 😂😂😂this is why I don’t tell you ANYTHING. Whether it’s my love life or my personal life period. I don’t bring friends by to meet her or nothing look wtf she saying to me? Nope

Sounds like my mom like I was literally 19 smack dab in the middle of a nervous breakdown/quarter life crisis and told her how much I hated school and how depressed I was and she told me “everyone hates school” repeatedly and sat silent! So tried to talk to dad got a similar reaction saying “it’s Not about you” Now that I’m older her and my father wonder why I don’t talk to them about shit and I’m like y'all set the standard for that because I tried to come to you guys SEVERAL TIMES and it was nothing but hell for me

Yep. Several things are wrong with me I can acknowledge it. Some things far as things in my child hood, certain predators and other things - my father knew and suspicion. My dad knew depression because he endured it, he dealt with so much as a child that he wanted to shield from us so even though he was a tough man. He wouldn’t have treated mental illness the way my mom does. One reason I miss him as badly as I do, I love my mom don’t get my wrong but I can’t go any further in my adulthood speaking to her. The day she becomes a grandmother she will be around but not as around as my grandmother. My grandmother is actually more understanding than she is. She legit has asked me, “are you depressed? What’s going on?”

“Ask your daughter.” Is all I can give for response I swear I’m not gonna be like this as a parent. Not to mention my little cousins are unhappy and being mistreated/dealing with my controlling aunt…. everyone else thinks they aren’t depressed but the youngest cousin she was self harming a few years ago….(about 2-3 years) so when they were all confused I’m like y'all are really fucking blind….

Sounds like my family like my dad says “you put too much pressure on yourself, what are you depressed for?” And it’s like when you say shit like that of course I don’t want to talk about it. I haven’t been myself for months and my parents never noticed! And it’s hard not to take it personally cause it’s like my sister could be having a bad day and everyone in the house is catering to her but I’m having an episode for MONTHS, practically losing my mind, crying in my car cause I have no at home support and they wonder why I don’t really fuck with them and why I’m so eager to move out! Like Jesus I’m just trying to save myself from my clearly untreated mental illness and passive aggressive family life

Why is this pattern though? Like it’s the same for me tbh. I don’t really talk to much of anybody because my mom has set this standard of no one cares you just gotta suck it up. I’ve always been intimated to speak about how I feel or if I was feeling depressed because people would either cut me off or say you don’t really feel that way it’s just a phase. But lord if it’s about them the whole world comes crashing down -.-. That’s why I don’t call any family members really for anything cause they’ll repeat what I said it just too much man.

I’ve noticed in the black community mental illness isn’t really taken as seriously which is sad. And I have a lot of that happening where I can't tell my mom something cause then it will be the butt of someone’s joke later or the topic of discussion

What’s worse I’m not even depressed about not being out about my sexuality. I am content with keeping that away from my family honestly because they’re all shit starters and they talk too much, they always fighting then let all this tension build up yet when I’m honest and say who wrong or what is wrong about shit they all get mad. My family thinks it’s okay fornother family members to use and enable manipulation, enable mistreatment. Fuck that boy… my kids ain’t gonna be apart of this. My daddy’s family who is full of inner turmoil among his siblings long before his death are less FUCKED up than my mom’s side.

I’m the only one who sees my 16/17 year old cousins are suffering from depression and anxiety… I’ve been hard on them but never ever down playing what could be wrong…. I’m a praying person but this family just… it irritates me. I wanna move FAR AWAY

Girl we must be related cause this is my literal life! Like I would love to move somewhere else and just start over

Like if I wasn’t in the middle of finishing school with just a few classes left I would legit be in the military by now. That’s my only escape as far as I can see

Girl I am literally planning to move out and just fall off the face of the earth other then small communication cause it’s fuckin damaging

It is and their opinion won’t change. I hate to sound like I’m whining because I know most people feel like I am but nobody can live in a situation like this. My kids can’t be apart of this and it’s sad that teenagers are plotting to leave after high school…. with no savings just wanting to leave but I support their decision, I told my cousins if they get a job, to not allow their mother to drain their finances. They have to put as much aside as possible. But it’s like I don’t wanna make a mistake get in a dire financial situation I can’t get out of before I move

I can completely relate to that and it’s not whining, you are being honestly about your situation. yes some will say “oh some have it worse” which is true but it is still just as damaging. Not wanting to put myself more in the hole financial is the only reason I still live here cause when I move out I dont want to have to come back, you know?

What’s worse I’m not even depressed about not being out about my sexuality. I am content with keeping that away from my family honestly because they’re all shit starters and they talk too much, they always fighting then let all this tension build up yet when I’m honest and say who wrong or what is wrong about shit they all get mad. My family thinks it’s okay fornother family members to use and enable manipulation, enable mistreatment. Fuck that boy… my kids ain’t gonna be apart of this. My daddy’s family who is full of inner turmoil among his siblings long before his death are less FUCKED up than my mom’s side.

I’m the only one who sees my 16/17 year old cousins are suffering from depression and anxiety… I’ve been hard on them but never ever down playing what could be wrong…. I’m a praying person but this family just… it irritates me. I wanna move FAR AWAY

Girl we must be related cause this is my literal life! Like I would love to move somewhere else and just start over

Like if I wasn’t in the middle of finishing school with just a few classes left I would legit be in the military by now. That’s my only escape as far as I can see

Girl I am literally planning to move out and just fall off the face of the earth other then small communication cause it's fuckin damaging

Talking to my mother about my issues was a waste of time but at least I got it out :) lowkey hurt me but that’s cool I feel better

Sounds like me when I try to express myself to my mom..

Yep…. she legit said “if you go to church you won’t be depressed, I wasn’t depressed when my daddy died, I wasn’t depressed when my friends died… you have no reason to be depressed or unhappy”

My response: “oh. k.”

At that point I wanted to be left alone and didn’t want her to say anything to me. Still don’t. Yet she always say, “that hurt me” GIRL BYE 😂😂😂this is why I don’t tell you ANYTHING. Whether it’s my love life or my personal life period. I don’t bring friends by to meet her or nothing look wtf she saying to me? Nope

Sounds like my mom like I was literally 19 smack dab in the middle of a nervous breakdown/quarter life crisis and told her how much I hated school and how depressed I was and she told me “everyone hates school” repeatedly and sat silent! So tried to talk to dad got a similar reaction saying “it’s Not about you” Now that I’m older her and my father wonder why I don’t talk to them about shit and I’m like y'all set the standard for that because I tried to come to you guys SEVERAL TIMES and it was nothing but hell for me

Yep. Several things are wrong with me I can acknowledge it. Some things far as things in my child hood, certain predators and other things - my father knew and suspicion. My dad knew depression because he endured it, he dealt with so much as a child that he wanted to shield from us so even though he was a tough man. He wouldn’t have treated mental illness the way my mom does. One reason I miss him as badly as I do, I love my mom don’t get my wrong but I can’t go any further in my adulthood speaking to her. The day she becomes a grandmother she will be around but not as around as my grandmother. My grandmother is actually more understanding than she is. She legit has asked me, “are you depressed? What’s going on?”

“Ask your daughter.” Is all I can give for response I swear I’m not gonna be like this as a parent. Not to mention my little cousins are unhappy and being mistreated/dealing with my controlling aunt…. everyone else thinks they aren’t depressed but the youngest cousin she was self harming a few years ago….(about 2-3 years) so when they were all confused I’m like y'all are really fucking blind….

Sounds like my family like my dad says "you put too much pressure on yourself, what are you depressed for?" And it's like when you say shit like that of course I don't want to talk about it. I haven't been myself for months and my parents never noticed! And it's hard not to take it personally cause it's like my sister could be having a bad day and everyone in the house is catering to her but I'm having an episode for MONTHS, practically losing my mind, crying in my car cause I have no at home support and they wonder why I don't really fuck with them and why I'm so eager to move out! Like Jesus I'm just trying to save myself from my clearly untreated mental illness and passive aggressive family life

What’s worse I’m not even depressed about not being out about my sexuality. I am content with keeping that away from my family honestly because they’re all shit starters and they talk too much, they always fighting then let all this tension build up yet when I’m honest and say who wrong or what is wrong about shit they all get mad. My family thinks it’s okay fornother family members to use and enable manipulation, enable mistreatment. Fuck that boy… my kids ain’t gonna be apart of this. My daddy’s family who is full of inner turmoil among his siblings long before his death are less FUCKED up than my mom’s side.

I’m the only one who sees my 16/17 year old cousins are suffering from depression and anxiety… I’ve been hard on them but never ever down playing what could be wrong…. I’m a praying person but this family just… it irritates me. I wanna move FAR AWAY

Girl we must be related cause this is my literal life! Like I would love to move somewhere else and just start over