Take your broken heart, make it into art.

reddit is having a glitch where it puts the wrong captions over photos and it’s the only thing i care about right now

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

STOP listening to the demon of capitalism and START listening to the angel of hedonism, i love you i believe in you keep making what you love forever ok?

Girldick this, boydick that, I’m hunting MOBY Dick

A STREAKER CUT THE ACTUAL CONTESTANT OFF AND BLEW THROUGH IT LIKE HE’S SONIC THE FUCKING HEDGEHOG WHAT THE FUCK

power move

aerodynamic

guy who didn’t realize this was his last day in the timeloop

I’m sorry this is a hilarious prank and dude is very impressive but I’m running away with “dude who doesn’t realize he’s in the last day of the time loop” and using it every time someone pulls some wild-ass shit like this.

You are a supervillain who has just captured your rival’s child. Rather than being afraid, they’re begging you to let them stay.

Frankly, you’d known those idiots had had a kid for years now. You’d pretended not to, because while you’d committed a lot of atrocities in your life, you weren’t willing to face the moral quandary of whether you would knowingly kill a child just to spite its parents.

They probably thought they were being clever though, what with the blaming you for an injury you knew damn well you’d never given keeping one of them out of commission for a few months, then references to what they would ‘leave behind’ or ‘could not follow’ when in the latest death trap. One of them had accidentally pulled a pacifier out of their utility belt once, and tried to pass it off as being prepared for any young children they came across while rescuing.

Idiots.

Still, you had standards. Standards that fell somewhere past war crimes and before common decency, but they were standards.

never gonna stop thinking abt how i drunkenly stumbled over to this 40/50 year old butch lesbian at a gay bar and said “you’re everything i want to be” only for her to give me the warmest hug i’ve ever received in my life and tell me that was the best compliment she’s ever received.

Supercorp bicep meme, sketchier than usual but it was fun

@onenicebugperday

"My deity has been spending much more time with me... He has given me food, water, shelter, things to chase and things to bite, a paradise to explore and be safe within... I sense my time is drawing near, and I am comforted by the presence of my deity. They sense my end is drawing near, and they show me how they, too, bite into their prey. Together, we share a holy meal of understanding, between my small self, and their colossal, incomprehensible, mostly unknowable existence.

"Perhaps we aren't all that different from the gods...and as my life draws to a close, I find that thought comforting.

BOTTOMS (2023) dir. Emma Seligman

best review i’ve ever written. universally applicable

Tag yourself I’m 5

I am none of these. NONE.

Doctor Who The Pilot | 10.01

All this about not getting to see John Lennon on twitter but I think the real tragedy is that Freddie Mercury never had an instagram

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

I’m far less interested in fiction where it’s like “This power/ability/prophecy is gender specific but trans inclusive” and for more interested in fiction that just… doesn’t do that

Stuff that’s like “Only girls can use moon magic but that includes trans women :)“ is still stupid and honestly a really reductive view of gender. Now if you wanna write some shit like “It’s believed that only girls can use moon magic but surprise it’s just surpressed/ignored in men because of gendered norms” like have at it. If you’re writing a fictional society you don’t have to stray away from fictionalized gender norms as well, but don’t right some shit where gender is baked into the laws of nature. Gender isn’t a force of nature, it’s a societal tool, and understanding that in real life means understanding that in fiction as well.