The marks you leave can’t be seen, They are far more deadly. You cut into my brain And slice and dice In an effort to create your perfection. You punch me with cruel words And toss-away comments, You hurt me without even trying. I wonder sometimes If you look into my eyes And see the broken pain And think of ways to stitch me back together. I think about whether you’d ever Want to make me whole again Or if this broken form Is easier to control and contain, So you’ll leave me shattered Whilst your life carries on.
You try to protect me from a world that has a heart as cold as ice. You swear you’d never do a thing to hurt me, but surely keeping me here is just exposing me to more pain. Outside these tinted windows lies a world that’s rotting and those dark tendrils are sneaking through cracks. Smoke slowly chokes the life from me, destroying me in the most brutal of ways. It seeps inside, inhaled by me due to human needs, and it attacks. It does not kill my lungs, does not make me whither from the inside out. It chokes my brain, it turns me against myself. Its hold does not loosen until my insides are as black as the world you sought to protect me from. How can I continue knowing that my insides are rotten? How can I have hope when I know the world outside is just as bad? I sit back in my rose-tinted room, painfully out of place. I feel the black spill from fingertips and spit from my mouth and I watch from behind a wall the mess I’ve made, as this safe place is tainted like the rest of us.
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper
The marks on my skin shine With the love you give me. It aches and throbs And I think of you every time. The purple galaxy on white Is like a piece of art, And I’m your canvas, A museum for our love. You paint me these colours And I no longer cry, Nor do I flinch and run away For when I look in the mirror I see your love for me Shining back in the most glorious way.
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper
Oh how I wish it was like that you’d understand
Love does not leave marks.
Only emotions.
When you look I the mirror,
Look into your eyes and remember how strong you can be.
How powerful.
Remember.
I’m Back
Thank you to everyone who follows, I promise there are more poems on the way. For those of you who show your support every time I post, who would be interested in a Patreon? You’d get early access to my poems and be able to get poems written especially for you.
Like if you’re interested
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper
I told you you'd get hurt
Nobody tells you you’re going to get hurt. No one can tell you how much it’ll hurt. I’ve never met a person who came with a disclaimer and I’m glad. Hurting is part of life, part of humanity. I just never expected it from her.
I realise now that this is a response to the ask from earlier. I don’t remember anyone telling me I’d get hurt - by all means, PM me and we can chat. I always try and respond!
I told you you'd get hurt
Nobody tells you you’re going to get hurt. No one can tell you how much it’ll hurt. I’ve never met a person who came with a disclaimer and I’m glad. Hurting is part of life, part of humanity. I just never expected it from her.
what’s the meaning of A.T.?
There is no specific meaning - they are my initials.
I understand now why people want to hurt. I feel the burn of something foreign in my veins, the sting of something foreign in my veins, the sting of something alien that must be bled out. There’s a pressure building up and I don’t know how to release it, the call of sharp metals nearly irresistible. Instead, I sting, I sting and hope this feeling fades. Instead, I create raised bumps, an effort to resist spilling the same red on white sheets.
Watch me writhe in pain. One day I’ll leave a circle on this wrist; Today is not that day.
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper
Omfg "talk about" is a lot cuter than ask me
Just let me fall to the ground, Let me crumble away. There’s no escape that I’ve found That can make this okay. So I falter and cry And let the sky take me, Oh, I just want to die And let my soul be free.
A lid locked in place Finally rattles free And out from underneath Slipped a simple plea “save me”.
The marks on my skin shine With the love you give me. It aches and throbs And I think of you every time. The purple galaxy on white Is like a piece of art, And I’m your canvas, A museum for our love. You paint me these colours And I no longer cry, Nor do I flinch and run away For when I look in the mirror I see your love for me Shining back in the most glorious way.
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper
told you so
I’m a little confused. Told me what?By all means send me a private message or ask again with a little more detail. But I’m afraid told you so is awfully vague and not very useful.
I keep waiting for the lies To slip from eager lips, As if I were awaiting The fall of the sun. I hang off every word, Desperate to find faults To help me feel human. I cling to everything I’m given Hoping that it gives me purpose And I wait for meaning like waiting for the sun to rise After the longest of nights. But the moon won’t fall, its pale, blue glow The song of insanity And I feel myself slipping in And losing the parts of me I understood. I keep waiting for the sun To peek over rocky mountains, But it’s the moon that grins at me Wide and toothy, Cheshire Cat.
- A.T | @scribbledwordsonwhitepaper