i’m so glad earth only has one moon, if there were more i’d have to pick a favorite and that sounds too emotionally taxing to even fathom

Me: trying to silently opening a candy bar

My parrot: watching me intently as he raises his foot to his beak to pantomime the act of eating a candy bar while making distressingly realistic chewing noises and not breaking eye contact

I genuinely think this is an attempt on his part to participate in a social activity with me, but it always comes off exactly as judgmental as it would feel if a human roommate were doing it.

detective pikachu: *is baby*

movie sonic: *is carrying the bubonic plague*

its basically this

im crying this is the funniest ad I’ve ever seen

The person who writes news tickers in Sun City, AZ when llamas are let loose one day: I’ve been waiting my whole life for this…

Everyone, meet my jar of jars. His name is Jar Jar.

…you could put a sign on it that just says “Binks”.   When the occasional passerby stops to look at it and lets out a faint, long-suffering groan, give them a sympathetic shoulder pat and a cookie. 

jane austen: this character is going to be the purest, sweetest, prettiest, kindest character i have ever written jane austen: everybody will love her jane austen: she is her mother’s favourite jane austen: a rich, kind, handsome bachelor falls instantly in love with her jane austen: the heroine looks up to her jane austen: she has never done anything wrong in her entire life jane austen: if she has any character flaws at all its that she is TOO much of an absolute sweetheart jane austen: and i will call her….. jane austen: jane :-)

2018 its gonna be jane austen levels of self love ONLY

Sometimes I think about my future wife and our cottage in the country side. Above our sink is our herb garden, and our hand painted backsplash tiles. We make bread on the weekends and eat vegetables we grew from our back yard. Our closest neighbor is 3 miles away, an old man who owns a sheep farm. He thaught us how to make wool socks. We spend our days enjoying nature and each others company. My wife knows an obscene amount about birds and gets excited when she sees even the most common birds. We love each other and are happy.

This made me really happy ☺️✨

I always liked Roger from 101 Dalmatians because I admire a person who, when faced with someone they dislike that’s invading their space, just aggressively plays jazz instruments at them until they leave.

And then writes a song about how much they suck.

There’s also a lot to be appreciated from a man who, when faced with the sudden acquisition of 84 more dogs than intended, instead of doing sensible things like finding homes for them, decides to just buy a house and have a hundred and one dogs.

Roger: 101 dogs? This is the OPPOSITE of a problem!

Yeah same

my favorite compliment to get from a friend or lover.

Free him

[source]

he’s zoomin

sometimes youtube comments are complete garbage and then there are comments like this

Drop the link op!!??

here you go!

warning: it is absolutely not what you’re expecting

as if i could possibly be expecting anything at all based on just that comment

hey guys i wonder what day of the week and approximate time it is