About Me

Hi, I'm Sam! (she/they) I'm a queer witch, pagan, and author of two books and counting. I mostly post about witchcraft and paganism with a focus on inclusive, antiracist, feminist, and queer-and-trans-affirming practices. I also occasionally post about other religions or occult topics and, more recently, about slow and intentional living.

I am not ordained clergy in any religion, and I do not claim any authority outside my own study, practice, and research. While I am happy to share resources with others, I encourage you to always get a second opinion.

FAQ

Q: What type of witchcraft do you practice?

A: I practice an eclectic mix of modern secular witchcraft and Southern + Southern Appalachian folk magic. I also incorporate some European folk traditions, particularly from England, Ireland, and Scotland, but that's a much smaller part of my practice.

Q: What type of paganism do you practice?

A: I sort of struggle to label my personal practice because it's, well, personal. A lot of my practice is based on personal experience and trial and error. That being said, I'm a member of the Reclaiming Tradition and deeply resonate with the Reclaiming Principles of Unity. My practice also has a lot of elements of Norse Heathenry and Irish Polytheism. I am married to a practitioner of Religio Romana, so I also occasionally post about Roman and Hellenic polytheism, as they are also part of our little household cultus.

Q: Where can I buy your books?

A: Both of my books are currently available on Amazon. You can get Witchcraft For Everyone, an introduction to secular witchcraft, here. You can get Sacred Choice, an exploration of the religious history of abortion and birth control, here.

Q: Can you do a tarot reading for me?

A: I am currently not offering tarot readings or any other services.

Q: Can you recommend a book about [insert occult topic here]?

A: I've already posted a masterlist of beginner-friendly resources, and I encourage you to check it out for my recommendations. I've also posted a masterlist of authors to avoid, to help newcomers avoid misinformation.

Q: Why haven't you posted about [insert latest human rights abuse here]? Do you not care about using your platform to spread awareness?

A: I have recently made the decision to block several bigotry, hate, and -ism related tags on social media to prevent doomscrolling every time I log on. For me, it's healthier to check the news once a week than to constantly be reading about human suffering. I've talked about this in other places, but my day job involves working directly with survivors of violence. As you can imagine, that uses up a lot of my energy, and in order to avoid compassion fatigue and burnout I'm trying to keep my social media more lighthearted. This is a personal boundary I have set for my own mental well-being, and does not reflect a lack of concern about current world events.

Q: Do you have any other social media?

A: I have a book/fandom side blog here on Tumblr at @samwisethebitch, where I largely post about fiction I enjoy. Fair warning, horror is one of my favorite genres, so if gore or disturbing imagery isn't for you, you might want to skip that side blog. I also have a fiber arts side blog at @samwisethestitch where I post about my sewing projects.

I also occasionally post short-form video content on Instagram at @samwisethewitch and TikTok at @authorsamwise. I try to remember to repost those videos on this blog, but I'm bad about forgetting to share them here.

Was reading about indigo children yesterday (researching for an essay on new age scams) and I realized that the idea was popularized in the late 1990s and early 2000s, which means the kids whose parents labeled them "indigo children" are probably in their 20s and 30s now. And I'm soooooo curious about how that affected them.

So: Do I have any followers whose parents labeled them an "indigo child" growing up? If so, I'd love to know how that label affected your identity and self-esteem growing up. And if you were diagnosed with some form of neurodivergence later.

I woke up this morning to a formal cease and desist from a certain publishing company that publishes books by a certain author. In compliance with that cease and desist, I have deleted the posts they took issue with. I will not be discussing this issue on social media again. Anyone with further questions is welcome to message me privately.

Something I've been thinking about lately: In conversations about being intentionally child-free, I see a lot of people talk about how much they resent constantly being told that they'll change their minds someday. And yeah, that sucks. When you tell someone that they'll regret their choices or go back on them someday, you're telling them you don't trust them to make their own decisions. And that's a dick move.

But what I see left out of a lot of these conversations is the fact that some people do change their minds about kids, and that is also okay.

People change. Our priorities and our values change. Someone identifying as child-free at 20 and then realizing at 30 that they actually do want to be a parent doesn't invalidate other people's decision not to have kids. It doesn't even invalidate that person's previous decision. They're growing. They're changing, and that's okay. Healthy even.

When I was 18, I felt very strongly that I would never marry and never have children. For me, this was a reaction to growing up in a religious environment where women were second-class citizens, and what little autonomy/independence single women had immediately went away when they got married. And once you had kids? Well, once you had kids, your personal life was officially over and your identity now started and ended with being so-and-so's mother.

If your only model of marriage and parenthood is a nuclear family where the husband is in charge and makes all of the decisions while his wife does all of the housework and childcare and not much else, OF COURSE you wouldn't want to get married or have kids! My thought process at 18 was basically, "Well, I want to have my own money and make my own choices and have an identity outside of being a mom, so clearly the family life isn't for me."

I'm 25 now. I'm married. My husband and I both kept our own last names, and we maintain separate bank accounts. I have a job that I'm good at, and a lot of people know me from my work. I still have my own money, make my own choices, and have my own identity. None of that went away when I got married. All that's changed is that I have a partner and best friend that I decided to do life with, and we had a ceremony and signed a piece of paper to make it official. We're not quite at the having kids stage yet, but it is something we both want someday.

Me wanting marriage and kids now doesn't invalidate my decision at 18. When I was 18, focusing on my education and career was absolutely the right choice for me. I needed to be able to focus on myself without considering how it would affect a spouse or kids. Eventually, I realized marriage and parenthood can look a lot of different ways. I realized I can decide what they look like for me. I don't have to follow the model I grew up with. And I realized I do want raising kids to be part of my life, just in a way that looks different from what others might expect.

This is a process a lot of people go through, especially women and femmes. If you're in the middle of it right now, just know that you're allowed to change.

And of course, a lot of people don't change their minds. A lot of people who identify as child-free at 20 still don't want kids at 30, 40, or 50. I've met people in their 80s and 90s who never had kids and don't regret that decision. My point here is that some people changing their minds about something doesn't mean it's not a good option for other people.

(And, let's be real, unfortunately a lot of people go the other way: they think they want kids until they have them. That's way more complicated because now there's a whole human person involved who is dependent on them for care and this definitely deserves its own post, but the best advice I can give is if you're young, you need to give yourself time to figure out what you want before committing to anything.)