Infatuation Part 4
“When you like someone, you like them despite their faults, when you love someone you love them with their faults” - Herman Hesse
O heyo its finall here lmao hope you enjoy ^^`
-J-Nope
Infatuation Part 4
You hazily woke up on the cold wooden floor of your apartment, another night spent crying over him. The pain was still there. You still loved him and you could never be angry at him for what he did, as much as you wanted to. You check the time, it was mid-afternoon. You had slept through the day again. Picking yourself up and jumping in the shower you started to get ready for your date with Hobi. You’re excited but also there's some sinking feeling in your stomach. You asked yourself if you will ever be able to love anyone again after him. You hated the most prominent answer which was no.
You had been waiting for this. Waiting for your chance to meet Hoseok, waiting for your chance to ask all your questions and have them answered. The clock was ticking down. Reaching closer and closer to 8. Hoseok was always very punctual, impressively punctual. You received a text.
Hobi: “I’m outside”
You look outside to see a black SUV parked outside your apartment. You ran out the door and made your way to the SUV. Something didn’t feel right. It was probably just nerves. A guy jumped out the front wearing a face mask and made his way to open the door for you. It was dark inside the car but you jumped in. This was so romantic, Hobi getting you a chauffeur to your date. Your stomach bubbled with excitement as you thanked the guy who had opened the door for you. But there was still a dark uneasy feeling as you got in the car. The door shut and locked behind you. Nervous you turn to your right to see Hobi. He looked beat up again. His face was painted a bit with guilt. He didn’t look at you.
“We meet again” You hear an old voice call. You turn behind you to see Kim Namjoon. Confused you looked between the two of them.
“What did you do to him?” You said in a panicked tone. As you looked at Hoseoks beat up face, you leant towards him to comfort him but he pushed your hands away.
“I didn’t do anything to him, did I Hoseok?” Namjoon smirked in response. Hoseok shook his head. His eyes were cold. Not full of life as I remember. It took you a couple of seconds to realise. Hoseok worked for Namjoon this entire time. That's why he followed you, that's why you saw him everywhere.
“I’m so confused” You whine as the car started driving. “Where are you taking me where are we going?” You didn’t feel threatened, you knew Namjoon wouldn’t hurt you, unless he needed to get to Jimin. Suddenly your heart rate escalated.
“I know what you’re thinking, no I’m not going to hurt you” Namjoon comforted you. For a gang leader, he was very soft spoken and caring. “Hobi has been following you, making sure you’re safe, working undercover. When Tae informed me that he had initiated a conversation I was confused and angry at him but then he explained to me and I understood.”
“Explained what?” You looked at Hobi. You couldn’t deny your heart hasn’t been slowly breaking since the moment you stepped in the car, you felt betrayed, after all, he was only doing his job.
“He was getting close to you (y/n)” Hobi choked out, a harsh tone. Nothing like the Hoseok you knew. “He was closing in on you, I had to do more to protect you.” Still confused you look at Namjoon for a deeper explanation.
“The new guy who just started at your work? He works for Jimin. He originally started so he could scout out this drug trade happening underground within the restaurant. When gathering intel on the security cameras Jimin saw you. We’ve seen a few of his men outside your apartment. Hoseok fought them off, and some even tried to attack him and his cover was blown. So the only choice we had was to evacuate you. Jimin doesn’t know where you are at all times, he doesn’t know its definitely you, he is just getting too close. This is the only way we can make you safe.”
You thought about it, you didn’t know how to feel. You felt joy for the fact Jimin was trying to find you, you felt scared because the only business he had with you now was to get to Namjoon. You were nothing but a career game for him at this point. You were also hurt at the fact that Hobi was just lying to you. The whole time, he just lied about the way he acted, he lied about his personality, he lied about his reasons. Just when you thought your luck was beginning to turn you were back here again. I guess there never really was any escaping it.
“Are you going to tell her the rest or should I?” Hoseok nudged Namjoon. Namjoon just stared at him.
“Not yet.” He responded.
“What do you mean the rest?” You fought back to Namjoon, but he just shrugged it off with an ‘I’ll explain later’. The car journey seemed quite long but you knew exactly where you were going. You kept glancing at Hoseok to find him turn his head away from you.
You were hurt that this was all a lie. Maybe you’re never meant to love someone again. Maybe you can’t live a normal life. A year later you still have no friends, no boyfriend, you don’t talk to your family. You’re just trying to get by. Locking yourself up in the solace of your home, but instead of being with him in your own little kingdom, you were on your own.
You slowly approached the tall grande house, the closest think Namjoon has to a family heirloom that holds the haunting memory of his mum's murder and his dad's suicide. You remember him saying how it's all he has left of them, even the greatest pleasures can bring us misery, and when you have so little else to make you happy, you hold on to even the strongest of pain. It was stiles pretty as you remembered it. It stood 4 stories high and spread out quite far. Very vintage looking like an old Victorian mansion. His home so large but so empty. That's why he lets a lot of the members stay there, to feel safe and to not feel alone.
After Jimin turned his back on you Namjoon welcomed you with open arms, you may have been forced into them but he was still kind to you. You stayed at the mansion for a few weeks while you got back on your feet. You flashback to one of the fondest memories.
You heard a knock at the door. You quickly walk over to open it, there he stood the doorway.
“Hi Nam, you found a place yet?” You queried waiting for him to usher you out of his home. It felt weird being here. The leaders of 2 most dangerous gangs in Seoul and some how you were stuck in the middle of both of them. One was possessive and so in love with you he would kill to keep you safe. The other just trying to give you a better life.
“Not yet, but there’s no rush. I’m sorry if you’re bored here I know I’m busy a lot but I hope Tae has been treating you well.” He smiled back.
“Tae has been doing his best but I just want to be left alone, Jimin has made me feel empty, I don’t know if I’ll have fun ever again.” You looked down with glassy eyes, cringing at the words out of your mouth but still you meant it.
“Stop being so over dramatic, you’ll have a better life without him.” He giggled with some apology in his voice.
“Why did you do it Nam? I’ve asked you before but you seem to avoid it, please explain it to me.” You pushed your questions. He says he wants me to live a free life but why am I so special? Surely he should hate me.
“Aish, you really want to know?” He asked. You nodded in response. You were still so confused by everything you just wanted to know the reasons behind everything. He pushed the door open and sat down on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to join him. You slowly walked over and placed yourself down next to him. “2 years ago I fell in love.” You were shocked at his sudden openness towards you. But you’’d been living in this big house of his for a couple of days now. You would go as far to even say you were friends with him. “This girl was perfect. Everything I could have wanted. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I bought her here. To stay here with me, dress her up in nice clothes, give her everything she wanted. I even considered leaving the gang life behind me, just to be with her. She called me her saviour. But I was no hero. She was so perfect in every way, but as much as I loved her I could never tell her what I did. I would go out to work, I would come home late, yet she wouldn’t know a thing. She trusted me, she trusted me way more than she should have.” He paused for a moment. Looking at the floor with glassy eyes. He took a deep breath.
“One night we were both at home, dancing around the ballroom, I was teaching her how to dance like a princess. Then at a certain angle I saw my mothers face in hers. Then it all hit me. I couldn’t be with her. I loved her too much, and I didn’t want to be like my father. I got worried and told her everything. She just smiled at me. Told me I was clearly nothing like my father. Pushed all my worries away. I thought honestly, this could work. Thats when he struck.”
“Who?” you asked, worried of his response because deep down you already knew it.
“Jimin.” He spat Jimins name out like poison on his tongue. “I remember a deafening bang. I came round to see rubble and dust surrounding me, ringing in my ears. I called out her name. Managing to pry my eyes open I see him. Holding her up by her hair. Then that was it. He shot her. He shot her right infant of my eyes, a grin wide on his face. I’ll always remember the fear lacing her face as she looked at me. Hopeless. I was angry at first. Enraged even. I didn’t even want to fight back because of what I lost. I planned to hit him where it hurt most.” Tears fell out of his eyes as he retold the story.
“Me?” He nodded at your response. “If you wanted revenge why didn’t you kill me?” You asked.
“I was going to. I was going to draw him to you then kill you right in front of his eyes. But as I held the gun up to your head I saw the same fear in your eyes as I did hers. Then it clicked. I couldn’t kill you (y/n), you were innocent, you had done nothing wrong. If I could go back id tell her to leave id let her have a better life. That's when I decided I couldn’t kill you, because you had done nothing wrong. I agreed on peace between us for you so I could let you live a long happy life somewhere.” You were touched by his story. Wrapping your arm around him in a half hug as a shield of comfort while he wiped his eyes you spoke.
“Thank you” You didn’t know what else to say, it made a lot of sense now. “Thank you” he smiled and looked at you.
“Do you know how to ballroom dance? Come on I’ll teach you.
You’re waiting patiently outside of the dining room as Hoseok requested to talk to Namjoon alone, there was a lot of commotion so you thought to listen in for a bit.
“You need to tell her Nam. You need to tell her why she’s really here.” Hobi sounded angered
“Why do you care so much? I told you not to get close to her I warned you, and now you care about her, I told you I warned you it won’t end well for any of us” Nam snapped back.
“Why would he care about me” You thought to yourself before you were interrupted.
“Eavesdropping can be dangerous you know?” You turn around flustered to see Tae standing before you. He looked a lot more tired than you remember. That's when Nam and Hobi walked out of the door almost hitting you at how close you were standing to it. Hoseok glared at Namjoon before walking out.
“Please tell me what's going on” You pleaded to Nam. He sighed bowing his head down.
“I’m sorry” You were confused at his response.
“Sorry? Sorry for what? what's going on?” You started to raise your voice in frustration.
“I-“ Namjoon was cut off.
“Tell her or I will” you turn around to see Hoseok wasn’t completely gone yet, he looked enraged and hurt. He’d been off ever since you sat in the car.
“I bought you here because…because I need you to kill Jimin.”
