@rosamundhodge / rosamundhodge.tumblr.com
i could not survive in ancient greece i would be spending all my money on red figure kraters or whatever. my husband would come home like where did all of the funds for influencing votes go and i'd be like honey look this amphora's got achilles and ajax playing dice on it
my wealthy husband: i thought i had some drachmas stashed away over here
the pottery i just bought with my husband's drachmas featuring an owl dressed up like a soldier:
xdinary heroes - overload b version photobook scans: gunil part 2
I need @rosamundhodge to see this because it is 100% her Aesthetic
This was the perfect thing too see upon logging into Tumblr for the first time in 10,000 years, thank you.
Now, father, you’re living in the past. This is the 14th century!
Sleeping Beauty (1959) dir. Clyde Geronimi
Seriously. 4 years ago, I’m cashiering at a whacky mart on a register that holds all the smokes and alcohol. It’s 10pm and these two young men (early 20s) come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items (I don’t remember they were), but it was strange and unusual to get odd items this late at night. Maybe it was for some fraternity, I don’t know. It’s a college town so I get weird stuff from frats a lot. I scan the items and tell them their total is $22.xx.
Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down two gallon zip-lock bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye, but they didn’t even look back at me. Everyone else in line groan and went to other registers. These two kids knew what they were doing, but they didn’t know what they were in for because I prepared for this; I knew this was going to inevitably happen. I grinned with them, because I was gonna get paid during this. These pranksters are here for recreation. This convo occurs between Me, Ringleader (the other guy was silent and awkward), and a friendly coworker of mine.
Me: Is this $22.xx?
Ringleader: …
Me: Did you count it?
Ringleader: Nope.
Me: Are you going to?
Ringleader: Nope.
Me: Is it at least $22.xx?
Ringleader: Don’t know.
Me: Nice.
Coworker: Hey! You guys can use the self checkout. It can take all of your coins at once.
Me: Oh, don’t worry about it Cowor–
Ringleader: Nope, don’t trust them lady. (Partner laughs)
Coworker: What? Why!?
Ringleader: Doesn’t count all your change right.
Coworker: I’ve used them before. It really works!
Me: (to Coworker) I got this.
I unpacked the ziplocks and threw all the pennies on the counter. It was a beautiful, massive shitstorm of a mess. And I digged in it. I was Frank in a dumpster in ‘It’s Always Sunny’. The two, still averting my gaze, start chuckling as if they were taking away my dignity. They whisper to each other “Dude oh my God,” “Dude yeah,” “Dude, hilarious.” I counted each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me.
Coworker: Guess I’ll help you count this.
Me: Don’t worry about it.
(She looks at me confused. Then she puts on her ‘get down to busy’ look.)
Coworker: I got your back.
Me: Oh…ok.
We worked up a system where we counted ten, put them in a pile, then with ten stacks of ten pennies we separated them, making $1 piles. We made progress slowly but surely. Some customers came to the line, but we advised them to get to another line. Some of them looked at us confused, but when they saw the counter full of pennies they understood. Some decided to wait, but when they realized it wasn’t going to take just a few minutes they took their leave. Another register in the liquor department opened so it wasn’t too bad for other customers. We get to about $12 (about 10min in) until I “knocked” over the piles.
Coworker: Neontonsil!
Me: Oops. Sorry.
(Coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave)
Coworker: You know what, I think I better let you do this.
Me: Ha, alright.
(Coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.)
Me: (To Ringleader) Yeah, I’m going to have to count all of this again.
Ringleader: ….Ok.
I started from zero. I count slower then ever, and made my way back up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7, when suddenly I say:
Me: Drats. I lost count. I better start all over again.
Ringleader: Really?
Me: Oh yeah man.
Ringleader: Why!?
Me: I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my register doesn’t have the right amount of cash, and I don’t want to rip you off.
Ringleader: …
It’s about an hour later. My manager walks past, looks at me. I smile at him, and he looks at the counter. He walks away without a word. I eventually count all the change and surprisingly they had only $18!
Me: Hmm, I think that this is $18.
(The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.)
Me: I’ll recount it.
I fucking recounted it.
Me: I think this is actually $19.xx.
(Without a word, the Ringleader whips out a $5)
Me: Seriously? You had cash?
Ringleader: Needed to get rid of my change.
Me. No problem. I’ll just recount this again. I want to make perfectly sure that this is $19, since I counted $18 the first time.
Ringleader: Are you kidding me?
(I shake my head no, completely serious)
He takes out a $20 bill straight out of his pocket and throws it at me. My coworker gives the biggest WHAT THE FUCK face. Internally, I die as well, because they were smart enough to have a backup plan. And the fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda messed with me. I take the cash, do the transaction, give him his change, thanked him and wished him a good night. The two start to put their pennies back in the ziplock bags and I didn’t help them at all. I watched them just as how they watched me. Lots of pennies dropped to the floor, but they didn’t care to pick them up. It looked like their souls were sucked out of them. It was past midnight and I clocked out way past when I was supposed to. A lot of my coworkers gave me a thumbs up or told me good night. Even my manager told me ‘good job,’ the only two words he ever said to me. Went to bed at the dorms after such a great petty penny night and crashed. Strange to say, but I’d love to count pennies again.
TL;DR I recounted 1900 pennies like 5 times. Was it 5 times? I better count again.
This is the kind of spite I live for
it’d be really funny if batman just got this reputation of absolutely HATING bruce wayne. like, gotham starts to realize that the two are never in a room together even though bruce wayne gets kidnapped by supervillians or targeted by the mob or whatever like three times a week and the entire city is like whoa. batman really just said fuck this one guy in particular. he saves everybody from murderers to toddlers but batman really just cannot stand bruce wayne’s dumb ass. and bruce wayne always leaves the place when batman gets there because hes just like. too polite to say anything. the joker keeps breaking into wayne manor to ask what bruce did to piss batman off so much
Modern Sherlock Holmes but he’s a 27 year old, drinks energy drinks only, is astonishing polite and has no idea how the solar system works because it was never relevant to a case but can name every every person involved in making Super Mario Bros because he did need that for a case once.
Watson is continuously appalled about his eating habits and makes vague posts on Twitter that ends in threads like
Watson: “My roommate noticed only today that he can label his email inboxs but took apart his entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.”
Person: “This reminds me of the post about the roommate who couldn’t turn on the coffee machine but remembers like 500 numbers of pi”
Watson: “I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same roommate.”
every version of twelfth night is legally obligated to have a scene staged like this
good question! the answer is no!
by G. K. Chesterton
There has fallen on earth for a token A god too great for the sky. He has burst out of all things and broken The bounds of eternity: Into time and the terminal land He has strayed like a thief or a lover, For the wine of the world brims over, Its splendour is split on the sand.
Who is proud when the heavens are humble, Who mounts if the mountains fall, If the fixed stars topple and tumble And a deluge of love drowns all— Who rears up his head for a crown, Who holds up his will for a warrant, Who strives with the starry torrent, When all that is good goes down?
For in dread of such falling and failing The fallen angels fell Inverted in insolence, scaling The hanging mountain of hell: But unmeasured of plummet and rod Too deep for their sight to scan, Outrushing the fall of man Is the height of the fall of God.
Glory to God in the Lowest The spout of the stars in spate— Where thunderbolt thinks to be slowest And the lightning fears to be late: As men dive for sunken gem Pursuing, we hunt and hound it, The fallen star has found it In the cavern of Bethlehem.
being a woman is like. i want to be monstrous. i want to be desired.
What animal looks like it would screm the loudest
the bare-throated bellbird is so loud that it can cause permanent damage to human hearing at close range!
and they absolutely look like it.
edit: i couldn’t resist
That felt too mild so may i present AAAAAA bird v2
saved as →
These are cute but misleading, because the call doesn’t go on–it’s more like one single, quick, rusty beep, only that beep is one of the loudest sounds made by any land animal
oh i’m so glad you have a video of ‘em, I knew I had seen one before!
I have provided an updated funnypic to more accurately reflect the reality of the bird.
CATS
let’s talk about housecats and how fucking weird they are evolutionarily/anthropologically
like who thought it was a good idea to have tiny malicious predators in our homes anyways????? (not us actually)
are they even domesticated????!!!?? (yes) do they even feel LOVE???????!!? (yes)
LET’S LEARN ABOUT CATS
“you ready 2 learn punk”
Tiny Crochet Cat Couches With Matching Granny Square Blankets
Via Diply
May I add: My cat Frank!:
My mom’s cat Jenna:
My sister’s friend’s cats, names unknown to me:
My sister’s cat Fraidy:
I bought the pattern for my sister and she’s been making them ever since!
I literally could not say no to that cat please tell me there is a part two
@rosamundhodge first of all, how dare you hurt me like this. Secondly, thank you 😅😂
why don't you look at a black cat's fur turning brown in the sunlight and maybe you'll calm down
my boy's time has come
