Hello!

I apologize for calling Macklemore cringe

hey, if you've got spotify, just leave this on repeat whenever you can. all proceeds are going to UNRWA

………… love u siken

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

to the people saying this isn't safe in the tags: my dad has a engineering degree and my brother is a mechanic this is like. state sanctioned macgyvering. safe sane and consensual macgyvering. our house will not burn down. in fact, i think it has made us all better in approaching problems from all angles when they arise, which has served me well in life, especially in high stress situations.

does our hot water switch off every thirty seconds making showers an exiting exercise in counting and resilience? yes. but one time the door of the train toilet broke, trapping me inside, and i went "well i can either succumb to the panic of claustrophobia or do this family-style" and then spent twenty minutes breaking down the lock with my shoelace and the belt i was wearing. so i'll take the cold water any day

Never have I wanted to see inside a stranger's home more

OP lives in a point-and-click adventure game

Or possibly in the dictionary definition of "engineer's syndrome"

The Rick Roll 20 for weird dice Wednesday

they should sell tumblr blue shirts with nothing on them. the only indication it’s tumblr merch would be on the interior tag. if you recognize the color in public that’s a personal problem

you alright dude???????????

ah. stoned out of its mind i see.

in 2012 we had an anti-abortion demonstrator on campus. I was in a ballet intensive and I walked by him—30 yards away & in total silence—wearing leggings and a sweater over my leotard, and he yelled, “nice cameltoe, dyke!”

I got to class and told my instructor about it and we complained to campus security, who told us that the campus was open to the public and that it was “his legal right to assembly and protest.”

so I guess the NYPD just showed up this time because these protestors forgot to sexually harass students and call them homophobic slurs. Easy mistake to make

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

Ooooh apparently it starts tonight so here's some important advice for people watching Eurovision this week!!

1.) Don't.

a little tribute to my new fav song from the epic musical

the funniest dynamc between my boyfriend and i is the chef/baker divide runs so deep. experimentally my boyfriend is a genius with figuring out what flavor profiles will not just taste good together but also will be enjoyed by the specific audience he is cooking for. a recipe is not a guidebook so much as a suggestion and he will frankenstein ideas together to get exactly what he wants to happen. he also didnt know that sugar will not work properly if you dont mix it with the wet ingredients in banana bread and when i asked 'why didnt you do it in the order of the recipe' he said 'i didnt really think it mattered'. autistically i exploded his head in my mind

when your pumpkin loaf or banana loaf is not delightfully moist and soft and sweet like the pillow of a cherub and instead is like a dense fruitcake brick of misery we will see who is pretentious then. beast

And second homes and air bnb.

Image ID: poster showing a white guy in a blue kicking the monopoly man, who is holding a bag of money. The poster says “Refugees didn’t take away affordable houseing. Rich landlords and greedy politicians did” There is an antifa symbol in the bottom right corner. End ID

legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff

derry girls knew that sometimes the best duos are gays and their bitchy friend