La Vie En Rose

‘why are you sitting in the dark’ excuse you I’ve been sitting here all day and it got dark around me I did not choose this

Most people treat depression as if the depressed person sat down in a room, weighed out the pros and cons, and decided being depressed was a great option.

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

Lextra ‘not so superhero landing’ ft. Deadpool

+Bonus Clarkextra

not all heroes wear capes

THIS IS THE PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA.

Eliza Taylor  

(via sodiumchloride-kom-saltkru)

suddenly i love this show again

most of the ocean is unexplored because everyone agreed that we’d all sleep better at night if we dont know what the hell is down there

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

“?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe it.

Why did the french chef kill himself? He lost his huile d'olive

What do you do to dead chemists? You barium..

My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games to much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4