Dear Bethany

It should come as no surprise I don’t own anything. Anyway, this idea came into my head as I was watching the episode, so I finally took 30 minutes and wrote it down. It’s incredible rough and it’s the first thing I’ve written in like a year, but whatever. 

The basic idea is that Jane told Kurt to write a letter to Bethany on her birthday, since he couldn’t be there.

Bethany,

                Happy Birthday!... You’re 4 now! I’m sorry I couldn’t be there …. I hope you had a great. I know you were feeling a little bit sick on your birthday, but I bet Mommy and Conor took great care of you.

                I miss you so much, Bethany.  I bet your hair is so long now. I can’t believe how blonde it was. Your Aunt Sarah has blonde hair just like you, did you know that? I know you haven’t seen her in a while, but you would like her.

                Oh Bethany, all I want to do is hold you, read stories, go to the playground, sing silly songs. I would even let you paint my nails like you wanted to last time. I miss you so much. I know you don’t remember, but when you were a baby, me and Jane lived in Colorado, just a little bit away from you and Mommy. We got to see you every day. You were so little. I would rock you to sleep, and then your smile when you woke up and saw…

                You are such a brave little girl, you know that. So smart also. All daddies think that about their daughters, but I know I have the smartest, bravest little girl in all the world. It’s hard to understand, but right now, Mommy, Conor, Jane and I are just trying to help other people. You know how we always tell you to be nice and kind to your friends at school? That’s what we are doing. Sometimes it’s hard, but you always have to do the right thing, okay Bethany. Just remember that. Even when it’s scary.

                I love you my sweet girl. I can’t wait to see you again.

                Daddy

I miss Sarah and Sawyer. 

Also, hi again

If You See Something, Solve Something

This may have been posted when the episode aired (2+ years ago) and god knows it’s been sitting around reminding me to post about it for most of that time…

So, if you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out the Angie Tribeca episode “If You See Something, Solve Something” …A naked woman emerges from a child’s backpack and doesn’t remember a thing…

Season 3, Episode 8 (if the link doesn’t take you right to it)

I saw project dragonfly and thought #Blindspot. Because I am normal

World Cup Fever

In which I’m obsessed with soccer, so I write a story just to have fun combining Blindspot and soccer.

i’m kind of out of the loop, but anyway, i decided to write some fic about Jane getting obsessed with the world cup, because that’s probably the healthiest way to deal with the stress about the game tomorrow.

(And Allie too, because Allie keeps showing up)

Thinking about how the first thing Kurt will do is to send a postcard to Allie and Bethany letting them know he's safe, innocent, and loves them. His heart will be breaking. And remembering the last time he had to leave Bethany behind, but at least he has Jane and they will clear their name and get back to Colorado and Bethany.

Five Times Kurt Weller Wanted To Kiss Jane Doe (and the one time he finally did)

I’m going to assume the title is pretty self evident for what this fic is about. 

i.

               He’d come too close to losing her again today. He couldn’t fight that fear that kept rising in his chest whenever he thought about it. His job meant that he put his life on the line every day. But Jane – Jane was a victim. She was Taylor. He had to protect her, he’d failed her enough already.

               Kurt couldn’t forget the look in Carter’s eyes at the cemetery; that cold, heartless glare as he negotiated with Mayfair, treating Jane and Dodi as pieces in a chess match. Except that Kurt knew that whoever went with the CIA wouldn’t ever come back. And that was what scared him the most – they may have won today, but Carter wasn’t the type to give up.

               He offered to drive Jane back to her safe house himself. He couldn’t let her go, not just yet. He knew that she could protect herself, probably better than he ever could. But, at the same time, he couldn’t shake that feeling whenever he left her alone. She had faced too much in too short a time, it wouldn’t hurt just to make sure she got home safely, not after a day like this.

               “It’s more for you than me,” he said honestly. “I just wanna check out the new place. Make sure it’s okay. Make sure you’re okay.” He turned to face her for the first time since they walked in.

               “I’m fine, I... I was just a little… I’ll be fine,” she settled on. “I’m sorry I lost it today.”

               “It’s okay. It happens.” After all that she’d been through, she had every right. He started towards the door, not ready to leave, but not able to think of a reason to stay. “You’ve been through so much. And if I’m making this harder for you, then just tell me. ‘Cause that’s the last thing I want. All these expectations…I should have never put you in that situation.”

               He stepped closer, and suddenly he wasn’t talking about today anymore. “I should have never let them take you. I’m… I’m sorry.” All the pain and guilt for the past twenty five years started coming to the surface. He’d never grieved Taylor – after it happened, his fight turned inward, holding in the hatred and anger for years. But now, for the first time, the tears were threatening to flow as he stared into her eyes.

               When Jane said that it wasn’t his fault, he wanted to ignore it, same as he always had. But then she stepped closer, repeating it, and it was as if he was hearing it for the first time, and the weight started lifting. He was staring into her eyes and there was nothing else in the world.

               “You told me Taylor was my starting point. I think you’re wrong.”

               Her hand was warm and soft. As she laid his hand on her chest, he couldn’t remember ever feeling this close to anyone before.

               “You… you’re my starting point.”

               The words washed over him, and her eyes were staring up at him, looking longingly at him, and when they flickered, he knew that she felt it also – the connection. All he wanted was to lean down, to close that gap, and bring his lips to hers.

               All it took was a second, not even that, for the moment to end. He had to pull away. She was a victim, an asset. No matter what he felt, he couldn’t act on it. It wasn’t appropriate, especially not on a day like today. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he turned, unable to look at her heartbroken expression for any longer.

               She was safe. That’s all that matters.

Also, I watched the past three episodes today, and it was the first time all season I felt like I was back with the #Blindspot I knew and loved. I’m not sure how long this feeling will last, but I like being a part of the world again, even if just a moment.

I like writing, but I don’t like when I can’t think of the right word.

Oh well, I’m on part 2 of 6, and have hours left in the day. I’m really excited to be writing again, and this word won’t stop me.

So when I am finally feeling okay enough, have some ideas, and have time to write.....

My computer is stuck on an impossibly long update cycle.

Sigh