im in (fandom) hell

the upside of ADHD is that it makes you a fucking genius

the downside is that you don't get to decide when and for how long you're a genius.

Or what you are going to be a genius about.

You have a big work project?

Nah. You're now a genius at making boardgames. For 7 hours.

If you’re unemployed, it’s not because there isn’t any work.

Just look around: A housing shortage, crime, pollution; we need better schools and parks. Whatever our needs, they all require work. And as long as we have unsatisfied needs, there’s work to be done.

So ask yourself, what kind of world has work but no jobs? It’s a world where work is not related to satisfying our needs, a world where work is only related to satisfying the profit needs of business.

This country was not built by the huge corporations or government bureaucracies. It was built by people who work. And, it is working people who should control the work to be done. Yet, as long as employment is tied to somebody else’s profits, the work won’t get done.

Was expecting classist bullshit, got the exact opposite

This is so ubelievably important and I hate that I have to keep re-explaining it to people.

if a character means enough to me i will truly never stop thinking about them. i just retire them into a little back room in my brain and periodically bring them out to stare at them under a little light

Happy burning down the house day!!!

My real volume 10 prediction

Text: PSA to anyone with a tree nut allergy who frequents starbucks. We have a new drink called the pistachio cold foam cold brew and our pistachio sauce not only has real pistachio in it, the syrup sticks inside the blender and will 100% not fully wash off with the rinsers we use (its just water). I highly suggest if you want a cold foam drink during Jan-March you request it done in a sanitized blender to lower the chance of having a reaction if you are at risk.

"middle aged women shouldn't participate in fandom" and you think it's teenagers that are writing those brilliant, incisive 100k fics of your favourite characters

Louder.

Honestly you don’t even have to change the genre much. Guy probably went through quite the ordeal because of all the people trying to get to Indy.

Day 1: “Professor Jones, hate to bother you but there’s an assassin trying to kill me, do you have...yes I see it...*gunshots* just to make sure, is there any paperwork I can file or should I just call the police?”

Day 85: “Oh fucking try me, I have 84 papers to grade because that lazy asshole went off to fucking Burma in the middle of fucking finals week, if you don’t leave right the fuck now I will awaken that ancient artifact in the corner and turn your intestines into fucking snakes.”

also, don’t forget: the movies are set in the 1930s-50s

so please imagine this 20-year-old girl who’s had to practically fight god to convince everyone that, no, she would NOT be happier with a degree in home economics and yes, she DOES want to be an archaeologist. she’s had to deal with male grad students trying to steal her research and constant patronizing questions about whether she can really handle the dirt and insects out in the field. even Indy, who stands up for her when the department leadership tries to pull Some Bullshit, sometimes treats her like a glorified secretary just out of habit

when the bad guys show up, they are therefore faced with a young woman who exists in a permanent state of simmering rage. she has a sensible wool skirt and practical oxfords and a baseball bat and you can fuck right off if you’re trying to pull this nonsense right after one of her professors just called her “sweetie” for the dozenth time

Okay idk if the timing and logistics match up at all but i just have a fever thought that his TA is none other than Mrs Evelyn O’Connell. Just think about it.

Jones: Are you sure you’re up for this position?

Evie: Dr Jones I assure you that despite being a woman I-

Jones: No no it’s not that, it’s just that there’s a lot of… weird artifacts that come through my door

Evie: Oh, well I actually have some experience with weird

Jones: and sometimes it can get dangerous…

Evie *smiling*: I can handle that as well

(Later in the school year, during a shoot out)

Jones: You weren’t kidding! *gunshots*

Evie pulling out a grenade and chucks it: These ruffians aren’t half as bad Imhotep, and he was nothing compared to midterms *explosion*

Evie: Oh dear they seem to have brought more friends. Pass me my bag Professor Jones if you’d please. 

Jones: Sure Evie *hands her the bag* 

Evie: *pulls out an old fashion pistol with a large bell* 

Jones: I don’t think that’s going to be enough. 

Evie: Oh it’s not. I’m phoning my husband *fires a flare through the window* 

Jones: I doubt stiff upper lip gent is going to help us right now Evie. 

Evie: I whole heartedly agree Professor Jones.

*A moment later Rick crashes the car through the wall and pulls out a tommy gun. He screams at the top of his lungs as he rushes the bad guys* 

Evie: Luckily my husband is American.

This continued to get better and better as I went.

someone write this fic, and let me know when you post it.

This close 🤏 to walking into a mysterious fog and never coming back

this is a personal attack

I cannot fucking wait for Australia to point out that Head of the Commonwealth was not a hereditary title. I hope that the Ozzies and the Scots both team up to hand in their two weeks independence day notices at the same time so that Charlie Boy has such a temper tantrum he shits his pacemaker out his arse.

live footage from the bad place

listening to this podcast about how the french are culturally mandated to take a 1 to 2 hour lunch break away from the workplace during which its looked down upon to talk about work. which is unfortunately the sexiest thing ive ever heard