I do this all the time but at home. my mama says if I go outside the toxic fallout clouds that killed everyone not currently on the internet right now will get me. but I'm starting not to believe her so maybe someday I'll finally go outside. maybe there'll be trees. And Garfield from the TV

I'm always having this insane thing where I find it hard to believe people's business social medias and their regular ones are sometimes the same. like okay okay hear me out. what if you were looking at aesthetic pictures or something on your main account that doubles as bizness and you were a little tired. It's 3am, work day tomorrow, you're fucking your own life up and you know it, your eyes are so bleary you're not even really fully processing the pictures before you like them. You happen to see a picture of a round, segmented orange covered in mold in a very blue bowl. For some reason the image appeals to you and you like it. The picture seems to highlight the delicacy of life and the beautiful strangeness of such an artfully cut orange placed in an ornate object, being discarded and allowed to rot like that so carelessly. In the morning you wake up and you see everyone is saying you liked furry porn of an anthropomorphized ginger cat with massive fucking titties wearing a blue bra and panties on your main account. People are like ohhhh you're the furry porn ginger cat guy. You're the busty bobcat bro. they're calling you things you ain't even heard of. You're like how do I explain that I thought it was a moldering orange in a bowl cause my eyes were wet with tears at night! but it's too late. Far fetched? Not for some. You have entered the twilight zone.

Jack Delroy fancam

The sheer insincerity of these badges that say shit like "it's okay to rest :)" in the name of self care as if a great deal of the whole world does not hinge upon the fact that if you do that very thing too much, you don't make money and then you can't buy food or shelter anymore. the logical conclusion is right there and yet all you hear is this "it's okay to do (insert human thing we all do here)" as an echoing reminder of how you can make money parroting these inane sentiments as long as you put some sort of shape of a cartoon animal, likely a frog, crow, or possum, below it

white Londoner roommate finding my collection of rare waterbugs in his bathtub: oi fack me wot the hell are these li'ol toe boiters

me: exactly what you say they are

my white Londoner roommate: heh. You're facking mental. take a shower then won't ah. these buggers better not touch me body

me: they will.

Personally would do very morally neutral things to you from afar

I really wish Joe biden would die. but sometimes I think a little part of it also comes from jealousy. It's like that thing about how some poor dumb stupid people view themselves constantly as temporarily unfortunate future billionaires. in my head I'm the next president and every time I see old creepy Joe chuckling it up on that wretched podium because he's forgotten where he is again and he's stalling for time, I think about caving his weak head in simply by lightly throwing a paper airplane at him. like. what I wouldn't give to be out there senile and off the shits just saying whatever the fuck I wanted. president of the United States. my dog biting people but they can't put him down cause I'm the g dang president. sitting almost actually upright at dinner wearing my shitty little bib so I don't spit up on my suit asking people I no longer recognize when dessert is. yelling the french president is fucking WAITING. and pointing to a broom on the floor who I think is that guy. what I wouldn't give to have the power to press the red button while wearing a bizarre ebeneezer scrooge dressing gown (I claimed it was my regular article of clothing for some fucking reason and everyone rolled with it cause they'd literally never seen me this insistent before)